Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • La Plus Ça Change…

    I do not remember what diet I was on six years ago, but according to my Facebook Memories, I must have been doing pretty well. This was, of course, six months before I started on my first medically supervised meal-replacement program at the bariatric clinic in Hamilton. I do know that I posted the following on Facebook six years ago today (November 5, 2016):

    To my friends and acquaintances who have commented on my weight loss:

    1. Thank you for noticing. I am not talking about it, but I am working very hard to lose weight.
    2. How much I have lost is none of your business. If I do not offer it, please don’t ask.
    3. How much I weigh is none of your business. If I do not offer it, please don’t ask.
    4. How much I weighed when I started is REALLY none of your business. I will not offer it, please don’t ask.
    5. If you have noticed that I am losing weight, please do not suggest ways for me to lose weight. What I am doing is apparently working for me, and I am going to continue to do it my way until such time as it stops working for me… at which point I will consult with the people (professionals) who have guided me thus far and will work out other stratagem. If I have not asked your advice, please accept that I do not want it… regardless of how pure and noble your intentions are.

    That is all.

    I see that several things have not changed since then… and a few things have. For one thing, I am talking about it… or at least, I am writing about it. To date, I have written some 240,000 words about it in this journal, which is transferred daily to my blog. I do not know whether that is to inspire others, or just as a cathartic exercise to put my thoughts into some sort of order, or just to keep me on track and accountable. I do know that my blog currently has about 125 subscribers, and it gets between three and thirty hits per day. I am glad that someone is reading it… but I also suspect that I would write it even if nobody ever did.

    My attitudes about other aspects of my progress have not changed much. I do not want anyone’s unsolicited advice. While I have started writing it recently, for the first seven or eight months I did not mention (on the blog) what I weigh. These numbers were, of course, kept in the journal to track progress. Until very recently they were never shared.

    It is amazing that so many people have so much advice to offer about how to lose weight. I wonder how many of those can say that they have lost ninety pounds. Thanks for your advice… I’ll file it with the rest of the unsolicited crap I get in the post.

    For a couple of years before I moved to Israel, I coached high school basketball. I had a lot of fun with that, even though in hindsight I was not very good at it. In my last year of coaching girls, I remember a game which we were winning. We were doing really well. I had the girls playing a zone defense, and we were shutting down the opposition. At halftime, someone told me that we were not supposed to be playing zone but had to switch to man-on-man. I do not remember the details, but I remember in the locker room telling the girls to shift from one to the other. We came out for the second half, and we lost the game by ten points. It was not because man-on-man is better or worse than zone, it was because we changed our strategy mid-game… and we blew it.

    Every winning coach has a different strategy to win, and while some of them are similar, some are quite different. I remember hearing somewhere that the hardest thing to do in sports is to go into the locker room at halftime of the Super Bowl and change the strategy that worked for you all year but is not working anymore. There will come a time I am sure when I am forced to re-evaluate my plan because it stopped working. In fact, that has already happened twice. I had been having two meals per day, and I switched to one meal per day. I was having my meal in the evening, but then shifted to eating it at lunchtime (when my schedule allowed for it).

    My point is this: while I am losing weight, why would I try to change what is working for me? It is not like the people who are spewing advice at me are saying ‘Oh, I am sorry to hear that your weight loss has stalled or plateaued… maybe this will help?’ They are usually saying ‘Hey, you are losing weight? Great… this is a better way to lose weight.’ Really? You don’t say? Thanks for your garbage advice. Have a nice day.

    While my program is working, I am going to keep on it. If you are offended that I am not telling you about it, that is just something you are going to have to learn to live with. I am sure your way of doing things might work… but my way of doing things works too. In fact, it is working, and I will keep at it until I decide to change. I am not going to change my strategy that is obviously working because you feel that your way is better. I am sure your way is better for you. My way is what is best for me for now.

    Just to be clear, the answer is NO. When the time comes when I decide to change my strategy, I will not go looking for the advice of everyone who thinks they know best. You may be surprised by this, but I did not come up with the current strategy off the top of my head. It was not delivered on tablets from Mount Sinai. I came up with it by taking the advice of many medical professionals, at least some of whom know more about weight loss than do my friends the accountants, marketing professionals, bankers, and brokers. Thank you, I will continue to let you all handle my finances, marketing, and banking. I will continue to seek their advice about my health.

    I know that the above paragraph is going to incense somebody who thinks the entire medical field is a giant scam to push pharmaceuticals on their patients. I can assure you that over the past 290 days that I have been on my weight loss journey, no drugs have been involved. Also, I trust my doctor. Also, I think most conspiracy theories are stupid.

    To those of you who might ask what I am doing to lose weight safely? I encourage you to read my blog from the beginning. For those of you who want to give me advice about how to lose weight? I encourage you to pick up a book, turn on the television, or go for a walk. Do anything but give me weight loss advice. Trust me, I’ve heard it all before, and I have picked a strategy that works for me.

  • Day 290

    I am in Facebook Jail. I have to stop telling idiots who instigate cops that they are idiots. Facebook, I’ll see you Friday!

    I finished up with the soup today… almost. I now have seven plastic containers in the fridge filled with Jewish Penicillin, and the kitchen has been completely cleaned. The only step left is to take the congealed fat (chicken schmaltz) off the top of each container before freezing them all. I will do that today. For the most part though, I stayed out of the kitchen.

    As has become my habit these last few weeks, I bought two challah rolls for the Shabbat blessing yesterday; following the blessings, I indulged in them with some peanut butter. I decided that would replace not one but at least two meal replacements. My food intake yesterday was a meal replacement shake in the morning, my regular lunch, a mid-afternoon meal replacement bar, and then around sundown I had the challah. Nothing after that, save for a nice cigar on the balcony. The result? This morning my weight was down .4lbs. I am not back into best-ever territory, but I am back below the ‘When Mitchell Met Leslie’ milestone.

    These last few days have been what we used to call Indian Summer, although I truly hope that term has fallen out of favour. It is not often that on November 4th I have been able to sit on the balcony in Canada wearing short sleeves and be comfortable. For my evening cigar (which accompanied another James Bond movie) I did put on a jacket, although I could have gotten away with a long-sleeved shirt. No matter, it was quite pleasant. Today’s forecast is more of the same, although there is a chance of rain later in the day. Tomorrow is forecast to be warm and sunny, and I have been invited to a herf in Georgetown. That should be fun, although I rather suspect someone will try to get me to eat. I will do my best to abstain, sticking to my program.

    I should be getting together with Eduardo later today for a cigar, and hopefully our friend Sam will join us. He has been rather difficult to pin down of late, but he has a lot of family obligations, and I do not blame him. It will be nice to see him though.

    So much for that. I just got off the phone with Eduardo, who is not feeling well today. He had a bad reaction from a vaccine yesterday (either flu or pneumonia) and is going to take it easy today. To see how easy I can shift, I am going to take Princess Sophie to Cambridge to hang out with Ryan and the gang. Knowing that, the goal is much more important: Do not snack! I have to be able to sit there and resist all of the temptations. To that end, I plan to:

    1. Go after I have had a satisfying lunch.
    2. Bring a couple of good cigars, that are tastier than the chazerei they always have sitting about.
    3. When Glen tries to tempt me, punch him in the face!
    4. Bring a couple of meal replacement bars, in case I do get hungry.

    Okay, Number 3 is exaggerated. I will simply thank him and decline. That might be easier. I have already ruined my relationship with Ryan’s sister (because of her boyfriend who thought it was funny to tell Hitler jokes about gassing Jews to me). I want to stay in the good graces of at least most of the family!

    I want to wake up tomorrow back under 305lbs. The only way I can do that is to stay on track, stay on course, and do not succumb to temptation. No problems, right? Sounds simple, right? Simple… but not easy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 289

    I predicted correctly after I came home and had a second meal – having already eaten a salmon salad sandwich with Lyle and Dorothy – that I would be gaining weight today. It was not the chicken and salad that I ate at home that hurt me though, it was the ridiculously large bun that Lyle served that sandwich on. It was tasty, but it was neither low-calorie nor low carbohydrates. As is always going to be the case, the bread did fill me up, but by the time I arrived home (nearly six hours later) I was famished.

    As a result of that, my weight peaked slightly above my best-since-meeting-Leslie weight, and I am disappointed by that… even if it is only .2lbs. Still, I was hoping that my weight would be dropping slightly, not rising. I have to be good this weekend, or else I am going to pay the price. What exactly is that price, you might ask? I don’t know… but I wanted to be under 300lbs for my weigh-in at the doctor’s office on Monday, and that is unlikely to happen now. I would like to be under 295lbs by the time Leslie comes in two weeks, and that is still possible… as long as I can get off this slide that I’ve been on. Yes, I am only up 1.6lbs from my best weight, but I wrote an article a couple of years ago called One Pound Lost is Three Pounds of Progress. The corollary to that is one pound gained is three pounds of regression. I have to get back on track.

    I had my check-in with my weight loss buddy last night. It will be our last check-in before her surgery, as she is flying to Mexico today for it. Next week, she will be flying home (so no meeting). I am keeping her in my thoughts and prayers, and hope that when we speak in two weeks time, I will be back on track.

    I have no plans for today, but I will go to the supermarket to buy challah for the prayers this evening. My hope is that the challah will be my only cheat of the day. I also hope that tomorrow morning I get on the scale and get a wonderful surprise. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 288

    An entire pound gained? That is just preposterous. I must protest! Okay, there is no protest and no appeals process. My weight is back above 305lbs… but not quite back above the best-since-meeting-Leslie weight.

    I took on a very ambitious endeavour last night. I made chicken soup… from scratch. It probably does not sound so ambitious for people who spend a lot of time in the kitchen; for someone who cooks every day, but almost always the same simple items… yeah, that’s ambitious. I started in an Asian market, where I bought the chickens. I also picked up some vegetables from different sources. My buddy Lyle told me how much to buy – and considering he gave me the pot, boy did he over-estimate that – and I came home, put everything into pots (I had to pull out a couple of extra ones), and started the process.

    I do not know how good the soup will be. I have made chicken soup before, but never from scratch. Also, I followed much more Jewish recipes, which did not involve an Asian market. Anyhow, the three pots simmered overnight, and will cool all day. This evening, I will remove all of the solids from the pots, at which point I will likely be able to consolidate into one pot.

    My plans for today got complicated when Lyle asked if I was still willing to drive him and Dorothy to the airport today. I am happy to do so, but that eats my afternoon… literally. He wants me to come over for lunch at noon, then after lunch enjoy a cigar with him. Around 3:30pm we will drive to the airport (they live in Hamilton, but they are flying out of Toronto Pearson), hoping to avoid traffic on the way there… and on my way back. I am happy to do the favour for my friends and know that the lunch they are going to make will be very tasty.

    What else is going on today? Nothing that I can think of. It is a foggy morning, but the forecast says it will start to clear up around noon. Hopefully, this evening will be a good night to sit on the balcony with a cigar. We’ll see about today… but the next four days are going to be nice, so it should be a good weekend to relax.

    I am still frustrated that my weight went up yesterday. I am no longer less than five pounds from dropping below the 300-pound mark. I hope to be able to do that before my weigh-in at the doctor’s office on Monday, but even if I do not, it is a goal to do that by the time Leslie

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 286

    I was certain that after yesterday’s 2.6lbs drop, my weight would creep up a little bit today. In fact, it dropped. As well, my BMI, that devil of a number that confirms that yes, I am indeed obese, dropped to 39.0. I continue to be excited by my progress, especially as the numbers on the scale continue to creep closer to the magical 300lbs mark.

    I mentioned the last couple of days I was having a bit of a blockage issue. That finally passed this morning, and I had my first healthy bowel movement of the last few days. I expect that was a contributing factor to my day-over-day weight loss, in addition to my mostly sticking to the program yesterday (there were some peanuts, as the evidence was discovered by my sleuthing wife).

    Lyle and I were talking about food yesterday. He is a gourmet chef and has also been losing a lot of weight recently. We discussed the bad rap that fatty food has always gotten, and how the sugar lobby convinced the world (and the US FDA) that fat was the real enemy. All the while, it was simple carbohydrates and sugars that are the real villains. With that said, I am amazed that I got from one end of the Halloween season to the other without being tempted by any candy. I did not buy any to give away (which is good, because nobody knocked on my door), and I did not partake in any of the giveaways that were offered to me over the last few days.

    I remember one Halloween a few years ago when I was living in my apartment in California, the first year of the pandemic. I bought a big bag of miniature chocolate bars, and while my buddy Tam and I sat on the balcony smoking cigars, we would toss them to kids (and adults) passing by. We probably ate a few of them as well… this was in the first month after I fell off my weight management program, and I did not yet realize that I was falling back toward the pit of morbid obesity. Last night, I sat outside on the balcony after 7:30pm with only a cigar… and a video date with my wife. All in all, it was a much healthier Halloween than 2020 was.

    I woke up this morning to the very sad news that my downstairs neighbour passed away last night. She has been very sick for the last couple of months and went into hospice care ten days ago. Her dog Bella was always the mean kid on the block, barking at Princess Sophie like she might intimidate my girl. Still, we know she was a good doggie (if not well behaved). Her mom Wendy welcomed me to the neighbourhood before anyone else, and I will miss our chats when I would be coming in and she was sitting on the patio. Charlie’s mom and I were lamenting how fast it happened, how someone can go from ‘not feeling well’ to ‘riddled with Cancer’ to ‘dead’ in two months. It is another reminder to be grateful for what we have, because G-d can take it away just like that.

    I am going to head back to Lyle’s house this afternoon again. While it is cloudy and a bit foggy now, the sun is forecast to come out around 2pm, which is when I’ll head over there. The forecast for the next few days is sunny and warm for the season, and we Canadians do not take for granted warm weeks in November. Yes, I wish I had a job… but I am going to make the most of this time in the meantime. We will smoke a cigar in Wendy’s memory.

    With Halloween behind us, I am hoping that people respect the next eleven days, and do not start decorating for Christmas until after Remembrance Day. Of course, it would be nice if they could hold off until after American Thanksgiving, but that is a lot to ask for. I am not against Christmas, but I do believe that we should be able to remember our fallen soldiers with dignity and solemnity, and without grinches and santas and whatever else jumping out everywhere. Of course, some will say this makes me a grinch. Fine. Get off my lawn.

    The stitches in my finger are not bothering me. What is bothering me is having to wear the bandage on it. I removed the old bandage yesterday and put on a fresh one; in fact, I went through this exercise twice, because I did a shoddy job the first time… and because there was blood seeping through it. Here’s the weird part though: the blood was on the opposite side of my finger – that is, the side that was not sliced and sewn back up. There was no indication of damaged stitches or bleeding, but there was a bloody bandage. Maybe that was a Halloween thing, who knows? I will continue to keep it wrapped and as dry as possible for the next week and will ask my doctor to look at it when I see him on Monday. I expect that by then I should be mostly healed.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 284

    I was hoping to start out today’s entry declaring a huge milestone. Alas, despite not doing too badly on my program yesterday, that will have to wait at least a day, and maybe two or three days. Owing in part I suppose to the minor constipation I am going through these last two days, my weight this morning was up 1.2lbs, taking me once again just out of reach of my next milestone.

    The plan for today is to drive out to Cambridge to visit with my buddy Ryan. We will smoke cigars, shoot the shit, and watch football. Ryan is a huge football fan, and although his favourite team (Buffalo Bills) are not playing until this evening (by which time I am sure we will have left), his father’s favourite team (Dallas Cowboys) are playing at 1:00pm, and I am sure there will be some hooting and hollering during that contest. I don’t care, as long as I can smoke my cigars. I will bring my darts with me, and in case someone wants to play (there are usually a couple of others in the smoking garage aside from Ryan and his dad).

    I will do my best to stick to the program today, although I know there will always be plenty of opportunity to cheat when I am at Ryan’s. I will take a couple of meal replacements with me… just in case I am tempted.

    I do want to mention that once I press the publish button on this article, I will be notified that I am on a 58-day streak posting to the blog. There was one day a couple of months ago when I did not post, but with the exception of that day, I have posted daily every day for 284 days. This includes days when I was in the deepest depression, thinking I was going to lose everything. It includes days when I was so emotionally broken that I knew I was not just falling, but diving head-first off the wagon. It includes days when I was traveling, whether to (or from) Montreal, New York, Ottawa, Dallas, California, or even Cuba. It includes Jewish fast days, and Jewish feast days. There was a time when I wrote daily because I liked seeing those streak numbers get higher (yes, before breaking the streak on September 2, I was on a 225-day streak). In truth, I write every day as a way to stay consistent. On my worst days and on my best days, on days when I do not veer from the program and on days when my program goes completely out the window, I write. It is a habit, something that I do every morning, mostly wedged between taking Princess Sophie for her morning walk and making my first cup of coffee (and breakfast meal replacement), and before I start my day (whether that be working or not).

    The habitual writing provides me a consistency, something that I do every day, and reminds me every day that I am on my weight management program. It is that alarm clock that reminds me that ‘Yes, I am on the path to losing weight, and yes, I will continue to try today to stay on that path.’ I feel that it has kept me on track. Even when there have been days when I have fallen completely off track, the following day is a day to not only reflect on what I did wrong, but it is also my reminder that I am on a long journey. Spending a few minutes writing (my son and stepson would correct me that I am actually typing) in my journal every day gives me an opportunity to start fresh that day. If I have any chance of achieving all of my goals, then that is what I need to do. However well or poorly I might have done the previous day, I have to start fresh today. That’s why I write.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 283

    My stress has not really abated from yesterday, but I at least did get a mostly good night’s sleep. Following my morning rituals, Princess Sophie decided to extend our walk to a longer route than usual, which is not a bad thing. I would have thought that I got more than 2,000 steps in it, but that’s life. I don’t mind.

    Yesterday’s food intake was somewhat more than usual, but not terrible. I did take my son for lunch, and he did want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. I ordered a salad with chicken (no blue cheese, no bacon). They brought it with bacon, so I sent it back. It eventually did come, as my boy was almost ready to leave. It took us quite some time for them to bring us a box for his leftovers, during which I did eat the two small pieces of chicken and some of the lettuce. I realize they are not known for their salads, but even for a wings joint, this salad had the words half-assed all over it. Whatever.

    I dropped him off and then came home and made a proper lunch. So really, the two pieces of breaded chicken on the salad would be fairly considered a cheat. In the evening, I also ate the challah (with peanut butter, which is not strictly part of the religious obligations), and I drank the kiddush wine (less than an ounce). Still and all, I went to bed thinking that these cheats would end me, and that when I woke up, my weight would be at least a pound up. In fact, despite not being able to poop, I was down nearly one full pound… .8lbs is a good one-day loss, especially knowing that I thought I was going to be up.

    That whole ‘I had this, so I probably ruined my diet’ routine is due to the psychological damage I have suffered over the years. Some of that was self-inflicted, some external, but a lot of it was parental. I am fifty years old, and it has been thirty years since I lived with my parents. I am not going to blame my parents for anything; I am obese because of myself, and not because my mother was a terrible mother. That does not change the fact that the psychological damage I live with is real. I have to try to understand that I can lose weight without the incessant extremism of the program that I am on. Yes, that program is important to my progress, and no, I do not think it would be a good idea to drop the program now, thinking that I could just eat reasonably and always make good decisions. I know that cheating in moderation is possible and acceptable. I also know that, without placing any blame or pointing any fingers, I developed and continue to have an unhealthy relationship with food. If I am not careful, I will make bad choices. I might go a few days eating well and I might even lose a couple more pounds… but my history is clear that I will start to slide, and I will lose my footing, and will eventually fall back into old habits. No, staying on the program is, for now, the right way to go.

    Reading this last paragraph, you might ask yourself if I plan to stay on my program forever? No, that is absolutely not my intention. Right now, I am living alone. Once I am living with my wife, it will be easier. I also hope that by then I am at a more reasonable weight. With all of that said, I know that at some point I will likely need to find a therapist who can help me, because I know I am a food addict, and I will always be… but alcoholics do not need to drink anymore, and I can’t stop eating forever. I need to be able to deal with the addiction, and with the other psychological aspects of my psychosis.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 281

    Yesterday was one of those days that had the potential for me to go off the rails on my program. I got some very disturbing news, and it really upset me. If it was not for the unwavering love and support of my wife, I do not know what would have happened. I am relieved that the only transgression from the program yesterday was a bag of popcorn… and it was the last bag that I had in the house, so that should not be happening again.

    The results of staying on track? My weight dropped 2.4lbs, which is exactly how much I gained two days ago from my post-vaccination cheat splurge. I am still .2lbs from my lowest weight (which I recorded Monday morning, before that splurge), but if I stay on course today, I will hopefully be back into the best-weight-ever territory either tomorrow or latest by Saturday.

    I did not join the gym yesterday as I said I might. That is still in the plans, but yesterday was not a good day… it was a day to sit on the balcony and smoke a cigar and to reflect on what happened. It was also a day to renew my Microsoft ‘Expert’ certification, which was set to expire November 8. My certifications are part of my professional credibility, and I do need to maintain them to stay relevant. The renewals are not nearly as difficult (nor as regimented) as the actual certifications are, and I was able to finish it in less than thirty minutes. It is the second renewal that I did this week – the other being for my ‘Associate’ certification, which would have expired October 30. Getting these out of the way took a bit of a load off my mind indeed. I expect that in the next week or two, I will probably try to earn a couple more certifications… but that will depend on a lot of factors.

    Charlie came over for a visit today, which means that I will not be going out until it is time to pick my cleaning lady up from the train station. The weather might or might not be conducive to a cigar on the balcony – we will see how I feel – but I do know from last night that it is time to start using the patio heater. I also invoked (for the second time in a week) my mantra that if I am not enjoying a cigar, I should not be smoking the cigar. I threw out the cigar I was smoking a little past the halfway point. I should have lit another one, but I decided to step inside to warm up. It was only then that Princess Sophie told me that she wanted to go out for another walk, and so we went… we would have spent longer outside, but we saw the massive skunk (it must be the same one from the other night… unless there is a family of gigantic skunks living around here) so we both decided to come inside.

    I really miss my wife. The other day I was sitting on the porch with Lyle, and he told me that he understands why… that when he drops Dorothy off at the train station in the morning, he misses her terribly, and that is knowing that she will be back in the evening. How much worse must it be, he asked, knowing that when Leslie and I part, we will be apart for a month every time. He is right, it is agony. I miss her, and she misses me. We can only hope that the US State Department does not take too long processing our visa application. The sooner we can be together, the better.

    I joined the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) last night. I am far from retired of course, but my wife was making fun of my age (she is nearly a decade my junior), and I realized that if I joined, she would automatically become a member as well. There are discounts associated with the membership, so I figured ‘why not?’ It was just something to do… and I suppose it is just one more card that someone wants me to carry around in my wallet.

    I am not sure if today might be my last regularly scheduled meeting with my diet buddy before she goes for her surgery. We might have a couple more weeks, but I will have to ask her about that today. I am really hoping that things go well for her. I am also hoping that I do not fail yet again and find myself wanting to follow in her footsteps. I really want to lose all the weight I have to lose in a healthy manner, and a non-surgical one. I know that my prolonged obesity will have made lasting changes to my aging body, but I want that to be the extent of it; I do not want to make any surgical changes to my body. As I might have mentioned the other day, my ex-wife seems to have overtaken me in the number of scars, and I do not want to try to catch up again.

    It is time for me to get on with my day, so I will close here… have a great day folks!

  • Day 278

    Another mostly good day to report. Yes, I did have some pop chips, which are not exactly on the program, but which are also not the worst transgression I could make. Aside from that, I was on track. I had a pretty good lunch, a couple of meal replacements in the afternoon and evening. I relaxed most of the day, which is to say that I sat on the balcony, smoking cigars, and watching James Bond movies. I did not go for a walk. I am having trouble getting my heinie in gear again. However, I have decided that I will join the gym this week. That will motivate me!

    I did not go to the doctor’s office to get weighed last week because I was teaching. Unlike a couple of previous times, I did not have the time to give the students labs and tell them I would be back in an hour. I was way behind on my schedule, and I did the right thing in not trying to fit that in. As such, I am going today. Normally, I like to go before I have had a morning meal replacement (or even coffee), but I did not make the call to schedule my visit until this morning, so they want me to come in at 11:15am. Okay, I can do that. On my last weigh-in, I was at 143.5kg. I am skeptical that I might drop below 140kg, but that would be amazing! Frankly, even if I weigh 140.5, I will be pleased.

    Yesterday was a massive day for non-scale victories. I was thinking about how I feel about myself and decided that I wanted to check in to see how close I am to fitting into my custom-tailored suits and shirts from five years ago. I was floored when I realized that not only did the shirts fit, but they were not even tight! The buttons were not pulling at all! I tried while I was on the phone with Leslie. She watched, and we celebrated! My sports jacket from that time is tight, but wearable. What does all of this mean? Aside from being a huge NSV, it means that when Leslie comes to town in a few weeks, I will be able to take her out wearing a suit that fits! Whatever bad thoughts I have had, this really perked me up and gave me the motivation to keep going. My next goal is for these suits and shirts to not fit me anymore because they are too big… but that is still a long way away.

    The more I succeed, the more I realize I can succeed. At this point, it is extremely likely that 2022 will be the year I lost 100lbs. What would be amazing, and I think this will be my ultimate goal for the year, would be to lose 50kg in the year. That converts to 110lbs, which means that I am still about 22lbs away from it, with a little over two months to go. Of course, in those two months we have the holidays, which means that temptations will be everywhere. We also have the coming of winter, when I will no longer be eager to head outside to walk (hence, joining the gym, which I might even do today). Can I lose 22lbs in that time? I don’t know… but I am going to try my best!

    I am off to the doctor’s office for my weigh-in. I will continue to write when I am home, if only to report back on my progress!

    Weight: 140 kg (down 3.5 kg, down 37.25kg overall)

    A weight loss of 3.5kg in 39 days? I could certainly have done better. How about in 39 days that included a month on the road (between Dallas and Southern California) where I was tempted to eat more and worse every day, despite the encouragement not to by my lovely wife? How about throwing into those 39 days another week of weather-related sadness and work-related stress and anxiety? I think we can change the first sentences of this paragraph to read: ‘A weight loss of 3.5kg in these 39 days? I could certainly have done much worse!’ In short, I will take it!

    I should also remind myself that I did not weigh in first thing in the morning, before meal replacements and coffee. We should also point out that today’s was the first weigh-in since June that I wore long pants and not shorts. Those two factors could easily account for another kilogram. One way or the other, I am making progress. I am down, and I am happy about it. Earlier in the article, I mentioned that if I weighed 140.5kg then I would be happy. I beat that by an entire half kilogram. Woohoo!

    It is time to continue on with my day. I went to the supermarket and picked up tomatoes and celery to add to my salads, and I have chicken in the air fryer. After that, I suppose I will enjoy a cigar on the balcony before heading over to the pharmacy to get my Covid-19 booster and my flu shot. Who knows? I might even walk over there.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 277

    I celebrated my latest milestone last night. As I said I would, I enjoyed a steak. It was not my midday meal, which was my usual chicken. No, I had a second meal yesterday. I had a steak, and I had another salad around 7:00pm. Because of that, I was worried that I was going to lose the progress I had made the previous day. While I did gain this morning, it was .2lbs, and nothing earth-shattering. I can live with that, knowing I was able to celebrate and not pay too badly for it.

    I spent a lovely afternoon with Lyle and Dorothy yesterday, and while I do not expect to have company for it, I expect that my day today will go similar to yesterday. I will sit on the balcony and smoke a couple of cigars. I will either read or watch movies on my tablet – I watched a documentary about the music of James Bond the other day, and now I am drawn to watching the series in order. I started yesterday with Dr. No, and will probably follow that up with From Russia with Love today. Who knows? I have not been feeling great and want to take it easy. If I was sure that I am not sick, I would take my son the younger for breakfast. These last few days, I have been sneezing and coughing a lot; it could be from allergies, but I suspect it was the sudden exposure to colder weather, and not dressing appropriately for it.

    The kids are playing. That is to say, Charlie came over for a short play date, and he and Princess Sophie are frolicking and play-fighting. It is so nice to see them having fun. Unfortunately, it reminds me that my wife and I are apart, and that we will not be able to frolic until her next visit in twenty-six days. Yes, I am counting. Of course I am counting… I have not been able to hold her for the last week since she dropped me off at the airport. Long distance relationships are hard. I am relieved that the sadness over the physical distance between us had not manifested itself in falling off the food wagon. It would be so easy for me to use that as an excuse to gain weight. No, I have to stay strong and stay focused. We will be together soon and forever, and I have to lose weight and get healthy if I want our life together to be a long and happy one.

    With that said, my plan for the day is to stay focused and stay on track. I know that there is more temptation while I am sitting at home doing nothing, but at the same time, I can (and will) smoke my cigars and relax, and just try to keep myself distracted and busy. I will make my regular afternoon meal, and I will read and watch TV. At around 2:00pm, someone should be coming to collect a table that I have been trying to sell on Facebook Marketplace. I will be glad to be rid of it, not because it takes up a lot of space or because it is not useful, but because I am trying to slowly downsize. I want to get rid of things that I do not need. Come to think of it, I might list a couple of other items for sale today too. There, after I wrote that sentence, I re-listed my Ikea chair and ottoman for sale. If they sell, I will need to find another way for Princess Sophie to hop up onto the bed.

    It is a beautiful day outside, and the temperature is currently on a slow crawl up to a high of 18° Celsius. I put on a short sleeve shirt today, which means that I will be wearing a jacket as I sit outside. I could have avoided that by wearing long sleeves, but that’s life.

    I am being stabbed tomorrow and cut on Tuesday. If that sounds like I am having flashbacks to my Army days, I assure you it is nothing so violent. I have scheduled my fourth Covid-19 booster and a flu shot for tomorrow afternoon (the stab). I have scheduled a haircut and beard trim (the cut) for Tuesday. It seems like I am actually acting somewhat responsibly these days, taking care of what needs taking care of. Who knows? Maybe the shots will make me lose my appetite for a few weeks!? Probably not… nothing else ever has. Although I will say that as Lyle and Dorothy discussed a particular sandwich yesterday (that I am sure is very good, but as a reasonably observant Jew is anathema to me) I thought I might lose my lunch. Not the same, is it?

    Have a great day folks! It is officially Cigar O’Clock!