Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Day 303

    Up nearly a pound today. Yuck. Yes, the weather has had me down, and my bum knee has prevented any serious activity. Neither of those were reasons to cheat yesterday. I decided to buy popcorn for when Leslie is here… and I indulged in a bag. This, after munching on some peanuts and dried apricots on my way home from the grocery store. BAD MITCH.

    What matters more than anything is that Leslie arrives tonight! I am so excited! I am really looking forward to finally having her back in my arms, and not in the Rectangle Zone where we have spent the last month on video chats. In preparation, I did laundry – my bed sheets needed to be changed, and there was a load of laundry already sitting in the dryer that I took the opportunity to fold. I bought only the provisions required to make her breakfast tomorrow, as I know that we love grocery shopping together. I finally got around to wrapping the Channukah presents that she will take back to Texas with her, and I included with that pile a Chanukkiah (candelabra) so that she and her son (my stepson!) can light the candles with me from Dallas. I have to remember to point out that the best way that I have found to clean the leftover wax out from the previous evening is with a flathead screwdriver… and I did my best to clean it out for her. I am ready for my wife to arrive!

    I thought I was going to have to get up at a ridiculously early hour this morning, but late in the afternoon yesterday Eduardo called and cancelled. He had been worried that his smaller car would not be big enough to hold all of his estranged wife’s luggage for the drive to the airport, but his son was able to get all of it in without too much trouble. While I was happy to help (even though it would have made today a very long and difficult day for me), I was relieved when he told me I did not have to wake up at 3:30am to start my day. Not to confuse sleeping until 6:15am with sleeping in, I was nevertheless able to start my day at a reasonable (and pre-planned) hour to go through my morning routines, including taking Her Royal Floofness for a walk to the park. Well, for me it is still a stumble/limp to the park, but my knee is a bit better than it was yesterday, and my girl was able to play with some friends, romp in the fresh snow, and do all of her business. She will likely have a playdate with Charlie today, but Sue will confirm that in the next hour.

    With the returned normalcy to my day, I will go to Eduardo’s after class this evening (after lighting the Sabbath candles). We will smoke a couple of cigars, and we will commiserate. His original thought last week was that he would be celebrating his estranged wife’s departure, which effectively ends their marriage. I told him that as Jews we do not celebrate the death of an enemy in war, we take the time to think on what that other person (even our most hated enemies are people too) have given up. It should be the same with the ending of an unhappy marriage. While they may not have been happy together, they did once care about each other to get married. He agreed, and so tonight we will not celebrate, but we will look back… and look forward.

    From Eduardo’s I will drive to the airport! I will pick up my beautiful wife and for the first time in just over a month I will be able to hold her in my arms. I miss that so much, and it feels like much longer than a month since she dropped me off at the airport in Dallas. Our physical separations cause me physical pain, and I know she feels the same. Each separation – whether a few days or a few weeks – is harder and harder, but the reunifications are so sweet! The anticipation may well kill me though… I still have fifteen hours to wait before I get to see her.

    This evening, right after class, I will call her, and once again we will light the Sabbath candles. We will say the benedictions over the candles, the wine, and the challah. Once again, I will say my prayers sincerely asking G-d to deliver peace and joy to all of my loved ones. I think this week, more than many, my loved ones are in need of it. I think maybe I am too.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 301

    I lost nearly one pound from yesterday, and while that is certainly progress, it is very slow progress. The only cheat I had yesterday was some homemade chicken soup. I know a lot of people will agree with me when I say that it is unfair that medicine (Jewish Penicillin) can hinder weight loss. At least my weight dropped back below the 310 lbs. mark.

    My knee is still in a lot of pain. As I lay awake last night, I thought of the exercises I did at the gym last Thursday and Friday that might have caused it, and I figured it out. The pain is not the fault of my trainer, it is the fault of her client who pushes himself harder than might be smart sometimes. I have to remember the difference between ‘in pain’ and ‘injured’. I also have to remember that I am not a 22-year-old kid trying to be the best in the world anymore. Before I realized that it is almost certainly muscle pain from the workout, I took a Tylenol with Codeine last night. I do not know if that helped me get to sleep, but I did sleep through the night, only getting up once to pee… and while I did not fall right back to sleep, it was not more than fifteen minutes.

    It snowed yesterday during the day, but by the time I took Princess Sophie on her walk yesterday evening it had all melted. It snowed overnight, and that snow is fresh on the ground… and covering the trees and the cars. As such, Her Royal Floofness took about fifteen steps outside, looked at me, and said ‘Nope. Let’s go inside and wait for spring!’ Okay, it wasn’t quite that bad… but she was truly having none of it. She peed a bit, but whereas most days we go on a 2000-step walk, today we did not get out of the parking lot of the building. I am hoping that she does not get impatient during the day and beg to go out – I am teaching all day, and during lunch my ex-wife and I have a meeting with a school psychologist about our son the younger. If one of the neighbours knocks and asks to take her out then absolutely, but other than that, my girl is going to have to wait until class is over to go back outside. Hopefully by then the snow will have melted.

    Today is Wednesday, which means that we are two sleeps and a wake from having my beautiful wife back in my arms. Yes, I truly miss her that much. Despite knowing that I will not have attained the weight I was hoping for leading up to her visit, I know she loves me anyways… and did when I was nearly ninety pounds heavier. I will love her always!

    As expected, Her Floofness is now with Susan for the day. Hopefully she will get to go out once or twice. Hopefully it does not snow any more today, and she remembers that winter is a part of life in Canada. I know that she is looking forward to moving to our new home in Texas as much as I am, but for different reasons! It might snow one day or two in a year in Dallas… not quite like Canada’s winter.

    My plan for the day is to keep on track as well as I can. Because I have a meeting with the school psychologist at lunch today, I will be having my daily meal in the evening (early evening, as soon as I finish teaching). I will have a couple of meal replacements throughout the day, but there will be no other cheats today!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 299

    There are some days when you have no choice but to cheat on your weight loss program. Yesterday was such a day. I was picking Lyle and Dorothy up from the airport and driving them home. They were coming home from Italy, and I had joked with them to bring me a pizza. I could not believe it when they did! Rather than coming home from the drive and having a meal replacement, I had a slice of cheese pizza. It was a pretty big piece, but I did not think it would do too much damage.

    I was wrong of course. Over the past four days my weight has skyrocketed. Where I was hoping to stay below 305 lbs. a few days ago, I am now relieved to be just slightly below 310 lbs. and I am extremely upset about it… doubly so knowing that I am working all week and will not get to the gym at all. I will have to redouble my efforts to stay on track with my food intake. That is actually going to be easier this week than it was last week, as I will be teaching.

    The weeks when I teach during the day are the easiest ones to stay on track with. After my morning routine (which starts earlier because I set an alarm to wake up) I am at my desk by 8:00am (7:30am on Day 1 of the class). During our morning break, I will prepare my salad, and get the chicken ready to cook. About 30 minutes before the lunch break, I will walk into the kitchen (while still lecturing) and turn on the air fryer, so that by the time it is time to break for lunch, I can enjoy my meal in a relaxed fashion. While I might enjoy some mints or lozenges during the day, there is no other opportunity to eat.

    When the class is done, I will take Her Royal Floofness for her second walk of the day – that is, unless one of the neighbours asks to visit with her, at which point it might be the third or fourth walk. I will come back in after that and have another meal replacement. The rest of the evening is mine to relax. I suspect that I will need to go shopping this evening, as I think I am going to run out of lettuce with lunch. All I have to do when I go to the supermarket is remember that I am six pounds heavier than I was Friday morning. If I do that, my eyes will not be tempted by the myriad temptations available at the store. Oh, and I should check to see if I need milk.

    To continue the pattern of the last few nights, I did not sleep well. I fell asleep just fine, but once I wake up to pee, falling back into slumber eluded me for a long while. I have too many thoughts racing around in my head, and I cannot figure out how to put them aside. Try as I might, the second half of my nights have been much less restful than the first half. This has been going on for a few nights now, and I am paying the price for it during the day. I am tired… almost constantly. Fortunately, Leslie will be here in four and a half days. I always sleep better when she is next to me. For many reasons aside from sleep, I am literally counting down the hours! It is 110 hours as of right now, for those who might be curious. I cannot wait to have her back in my arms again.

    I should write a few words about the weather. Friday it was 21° and sunny. This morning for Princess Sophie’s walk I donned my ski jacket for the first time, as the temperature was hovering around 0°. I was even thankful that my leather gloves were in the pocket, else I would have had to keep my hands in the pockets the whole time. The calendar might say that winter arrives on December 21, but every Canadian will tell you that the accompanying weather comes much earlier than that. There were snow flurries yesterday, but only a couple. It would not do for the cold and the snow to come in one jarring moment, so I was grateful that at least the skies are clear today. Partly because I am teaching, but also partly because of the predicted (and actual) cold, I put on a t-shirt this morning… under a long sleeve button-down shirt. While I did not put on my winter boots, for the first time since April I wore my Blundstones for our walk. I know the insulated boots will be needed soon, but I will wait for real weather for that. The calendar be damned, winter has arrived in the Greater Toronto Hamilton Area.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 298

    Yesterday evening I indulged… and I paid the price this morning on the scale. Sorry, not sorry! I was hungry in the evening, and I decided to make myself a salad. I was going to put some canned salmon on top but when I opened the cabinet, I saw the packages of gourmet smoked salmon that Leslie bought me as a present. I should have portioned it out so that I had enough for a couple of meals, but no. The entire package went onto the salad. It was delicious! This morning’s weight gain was ridiculous, but that is partly because of the high salt content of salmon and should correct tomorrow. I just have to stay on track today.

    I should mention that mid-morning I had an extremely large bowel movement, and there is a very good chance that if I were to weigh myself after that, my weight would be more in line with what I was hoping for this morning. Nothing doing, I will wait until tomorrow morning.

    My plans for the day are simple. I am taking it easy until I hopefully drive out to Milton to spend a couple of hours smoking cigars with Eduardo and Sam. At 5:00pm I have to be at the airport to pick up Lyle and Dorothy, and then drive them back to Hamilton. I do not plan to spend a lot of time with them once there, for two reasons: 1) They will be tired and want to unpack after a long flight, and 2) I have to wake up early tomorrow for my class, which means that I should get a good night sleep tonight. Of course, I will also have my regular meal in a little while. After the scale shock this morning, I will do my absolute best to not stray far from the food plan!

    We are now five days away from Leslie’s upcoming visit, and I am really excited. I miss being with her, and while the video calls are nice, they are small consolation for not being able to hold my wife in my arms. As I told a friend yesterday: I married her because I do not want to spend another day not being married to her. The distance truly sucks.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 297

    It is frustrating that I do so well throughout a day, and then ruin it at the end. I do not think that the challah and peanut putter I had last night was worth a 1.2 lbs. gain this morning, especially after a good workout. I am glad though that after my workout, the scale at the gym read 9 lbs. lower than this morning’s weigh-in.

    My trainer and I worked out again yesterday, and yes, I am feeling it in my muscles today. I am not sure when our next session will be, owing to the fact that I am teaching every day next week. It is likely that a couple of them will be while Leslie is here, and then the remaining sessions will be after Kezi is back from her vacation.

    Speaking of Leslie, we are now inside one week from her visit. I am so excited that I will finally see her again! Yes, it has been too long.

    Eduardo is coming over for a cigar this afternoon, but I think I will head to the gym now for a bit. I will not do a full workout, I will just get onto the treadmill for half an hour or so. I find my pace on the treadmill is much faster than my pace when walking on the street… even though I do not enjoy it nearly as much.

    Okay, here’s the plan: I am going to be at the gym from 10-12 (which will include shower and sauna and stuff). I will come home and make my lunch, and then cigars with Eduardo. I know he is going through some difficult things right now, and I will always be a compassionate ear to listen when friends are in need.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 296–Remembrance Day

    On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the guns fell silent for the last time.

    Not quite.

    This morning I eschewed my regular fedora, deciding instead to wear my military cover. I did not expect anyone to recognize it for what it was, although one fellow dog walker commented that it was an interesting hat. As she often does, Princess Sophie decided to stop and play with Davey as the kids waited for their school bus. One kid (maybe nine or ten years old) said ‘That one minute of silence… it feels like ten hours!’ I wanted to tell him about my friends, boys really not that much older than him, who were silenced forever. I wanted to tell him how ten hours of constant explosions can feel like a minute… and an eternity.

    Last night I folded my laundry and had a bittersweet moment. Knowing that tomorrow will be the last day with a forecast high of double digits for several months, I separated my golf shirts (which are the main component of my summer wardrobe) from my long sleeve shirts and put them into a drawer. Among those that went away for the season are several that I will likely never wear again, having shrunk out of them. I have been wearing mostly XXL shirts for the few months, but there were (until last night) two 3XL shirts in my rotation: a purple one that I always loved, and a pink one that has always been Leslie’s favourite. Come spring, most of the shirts that I put away last night will likely be given to charity. The purple one will go for sure. Leslie will not let me get rid of that pink shirt, no matter what. As strange as this might sound for a golf shirt, I might try to get it tailored down to size. We’ll see. Maybe it will just live in my drawer forever, or when I finally move to Dallas, hanging in our closet.

    It feels really good to be shrinking out of my clothes. I am really looking forward to the day when even the custom-tailored suits that I have been waiting for be able to wear, which were bought when I was at my lowest weight of the last twenty-five years, no longer fit and have to be either put away or given to charity. Even though when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a morbidly obese reflection of myself, both the numbers on the scale and the fit of my clothes are good indicators of the tremendous progress I have made. The reflection looking back at me? That is a morphing of the road I have ahead, and the psychological damage of a kid who would never be good enough.

    I did my first full workout with Kezi yesterday, and yes, I did all of the warmups before starting. Today is our next workout, and I will once again do all of my warmups. I promise. I swear. Prior to the workout, I decided to pick up a handful of dried apricots, which gave me the carbohydrates to fuel the workout. Honestly, I do not know if the carbs work or not, but I ate them, I enjoyed them, and I will do the same today. As it was, I was feeling a bit dizzy and light-headed during the workout, which is most likely due to my low blood pressure. I do not want to make it worse by not having the fuel to keep me going.

    One thing I asked Kezi to adjust going forward. The workout that we did yesterday was mostly with free weights. I told her that if we would be working out together long term that would be fine, I feel that for my program to be sustainable for the long term, we should focus on the machines. We have five more workouts together, and the reason I paid for the package was because I want to know the best way to work out alone. I think the machines are a much smarter way for me to go than trying to remember every workout with free weights, especially knowing that I don’t know if my form is right or not. She told me she understands and will adjust her plans for us accordingly. I am looking forward to seeing how that plays out today.

    The only cheat on my program yesterday was the dozen dried apricots, and the numbers on the scale reflected that. My bathroom scale this morning read 303.0 lbs. which puts me back into the best-weight-ever territory (by only 0.2 lb.) . After my workout yesterday, the needle on the scale at the club read 299 lbs., making it the first time I have registered under 300 pounds since February 17, 2021. Of course, the post-workout weigh-in may feel good, but it is meaningless for me. The only weigh-ins that count are my morning weigh-ins, and the only ones that I actually register in this journal consistently are the semi-weekly weigh-ins at my doctor’s office. The next one of those is on Wednesday, November 23. I hope by then to drop from 139kg to 136kg… 299.8 lbs., with my clothes on.

    If 2022 will truly be the year I lose 50kg, then as of my last weigh-in I am still 10kg (about 22 lbs.) from that goal, and I have less than two months to achieve it. The 100 lbs. loss is certainly achievable, as I am only about 8 lbs. shy of that number. Losing eight pounds in seven weeks is absolutely achievable. Losing 22 lbs. in the same seven weeks? I am going to try my best, but I will not be terribly upset if I fall slightly shy of that number. If I do, then I will settle for losing fifty kilograms in 365 days, which gives me until January 20 to do it. I am still going to try to get there by December 31 though!

    I do not know why I agreed to an 11am workout on Remembrance Day, but I did. We will have to start a couple of minutes late, as I will observe my minutes of silence. I do not expect those around me to, but it would be nice if they did. I know that my wife is thinking about me today. She has already told me that she is thinking about me and my service this morning. I have not responded, but I will call her right now.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 295

    My weight seems to be back on track today. While I am still 1lb above my best weight from a few days ago, I am a full 3 lbs. down from yesterday’s disgusting reading.

    The thing is, I stepped onto the analog scale at the gym yesterday, which is probably more accurate than the one I have at home. I did weigh myself after my workout, which can be deceptive, but the needle was straddling the 300 lbs. line. I would be extremely happy if that was the accurate reading; with that said, I have been trusting my bathroom scale at home for nearly 300 days of weight loss, and however inaccurate it might be, it is a mostly consistent inaccurate.

    I went to the gym yesterday, splitting my time between the treadmill and the elliptical trainer. While I know how long I was on the two machines (slightly under an hour), I do not have accurate measures of my distance or pace. Had I written down what registered on the machines I would have that information; unfortunately, based on my redundant fitness trackers (fitness watch, smartphone app) I have nothing other than the times. I have to remember going forward that when I am holding on to the handles of the machine (which it likes to prod you to do for heart rate monitoring) it is impossible for those devices to detect footfalls… or if not impossible, then at least highly inaccurate. With the elliptical trainer, you do not have a choice. On the treadmill, I do. I’ll remember that from now on.

    This afternoon I am working out with my personal trainer for the first time in five years. While I did work out with a personal trainer when I was living in Ottawa in 2018, I always preferred working with Kezi, who I worked with for a few years when I was previously living in Burlington. We had our first session together on Tuesday, but that was just for her to see where I was at, what my goals and expectations are, and to weigh me. Today is when the real workouts begin. She did give me a series of eight warm-up exercises that she wants me to do prior to our session. Stretching and warming up has always been my Achilles heel. I know that they are important and will go into the gym today 30 minutes early to get that done. I know that I am not a young man anymore, and the chance of injury is higher than it once was. I promise to do the stretches!

    Last night when I came in from the balcony, I decided to crack open the clothes-that-do-not-fit-yet bins. We did not go deep into the short sleeve shirts because it will not be t-shirt weather for a while now, but I did pull out three long-sleeved t-shirts that fit just fine… and which definitely did not fit when I packed them into the bins. To my slight disappointment, there were no Size 40 pants. This is because when I was losing weight last time, I ordered a few pair from Amazon, but slid down to the Size 38 so quick that I was able to return those and exchange them for the smaller size. I do have two bags marked Sizes 38/36, which I know will take me a while to open. In the meantime, in a few weeks I will likely be buying a couple of pair of Size 40 pants (my 30” inseam should not have changed).

    The number of clothes-that-do-not-fit-yet bins has shrunk from five to two or one, depending on how we classify the Taekwondo bin (much of which did not fit, but would fit now). I was able to amalgamate a couple last night and eliminate one more this morning. I had one that was suits; one suit is still going to be tight, and the sports jacket does not fit… yet; they are close enough that they can be taken to the dry cleaners and then hang in my closet. There are two suit jackets that are too big, and they are going into the ‘donate now’ bin today. Even if they did fit, I am not sure I still have the matching pants. Nevertheless, dropping from five do-not-fit bins to two is a huge sign of amazing progress, especially on days when I look at myself and still see a fat man.

    Today is going to be another gorgeous day in Burlington, Ontario… one of the last ones of the season, it would seem. While both tomorrow and Saturday have forecast highs of 14°/13° Celsius respectively, tomorrow has an 80% chance of rain, and Saturday will be cloudy all day. With a forecast high of 18° today with sun all day, it will be my last day to sit outside comfortably. I will do just that. I will see if Eduardo wants to come over again, knowing that he would have to come earlier and leave by 4:00pm, so that I can get to the gym for my torture session with Kezi!

    I am making one minor adjustment to my nutrition regimen today. Prior to my workouts, I am going to stop and pick up a handful of dried fruit – usually apricots, but that can change at a whim – to get some carbohydrates before I hit the gym. Walking is one thing, if I am going to be doing anaerobic muscle-building exercises, I should have some carbs in my system for fuel. Aside from that, I will try to not cheat today. I will have my usual lunch, and then I will have a cigar on the balcony… whether Eduardo comes over or not.

    My diet buddy is on her way home. She checked out of the hospital yesterday and crossed the border into the USA. Today she and her partner will be flying across the continent, arriving home sometime this evening I would imagine. We knew in advance that we would not be checking in today, although she has been sending me progress reports, so I know she is okay. I look forward to chatting with her again next week. How cool would it be if by then I drop below the 300-pound mark!?

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 294

    I am frustrated by my weight-slide this morning, but more so because my floor seems to have gone back to being hinky. I wonder if that just means that the batteries in the scale are dying. I know that there was a 2.5 lbs. weight swing from one spot to another, just inches away. I decided, despite how frustrating it may be, to stick with the highest weight… which means I somehow gained three pounds from yesterday to this morning. I know that I was not able to poop, but three pounds? That is just not right.

    Today is Day 294. How nice would it be if by Day 300 (next Tuesday) I could weigh 300 lbs.? With the way my weight has been going, I don’t know if it is extremely realistic, or a pipe dream. I am going to give it my best to not cheat at all for the next few days, and hopefully get down to that milestone.

    I have prepared a shopping list for today because I know that I am going to forget something if I do not. I need milk, tomatoes, onions, coffee, and lettuce. I am going to the gym in the afternoon, and the shopping can wait until after that. I have just enough lettuce, onion, and tomato left for one salad, so I should be fine. Also, I have enough milk left for one more cup of coffee… if I decide to have one. It is rare that these needs all align so perfectly! Imagine if I also only had enough chicken left for one day? Nah, I could go through to the weekend without buying more if I had to.

    I asked my son the elder if he wants to go to Costco today, but I have not heard back from him. I assume that is a big NO, so Costco is not in the cards… nor is seeing my son the elder today.

    I am really feeling blasé this week and know that I need to head to the gym in order to try to kick myself out of that. I am not down or depressed… but I do feel that before I can sit on my balcony this afternoon with a cigar, I should go to the gym and try to accomplish… something. Lord knows, I have not gotten anything done this week. Who knows? If I stick with my program and have a good workout today (it will mostly be cardio, maybe an hour on the treadmill) then maybe tomorrow morning I will feel better about myself when I step off the scale.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 293

    While I did have a (smaller than usual) handful of peanuts yesterday, I mostly stuck to the plan. I had a good day with regard to food intake. I wish my bathroom scale was not being wonky again. Yesterday and today I got two (or three) very different readings. Yesterday, they ranged from 305.6 to 303.2 lbs., while today they were 305.2 to 304 lbs. On both days I settled on the lower number, which means that in theory, today I gained nearly a pound. Knowing that yesterday was a doctor’s office day, I am less concerned by yesterday’s weight, and will gladly discard it, meaning that this morning’s 304.0 lbs. has be back in best-weight-yet territory.

    Yesterday was a good day for non-scale victories. First of all, I joined a gym. This will not be like my Los Angeles fitness club debacle, where I joined with my ex-girlfriend, and then for the nearly two years I was a member hardly ever went. No, I plan to go to the gym… a lot. I plan to go five times per week over the next few months. I am meeting today with my personal trainer (I bought a package of seven sessions and will work with her to develop a plan for going forward). Today’s meeting is just to discuss my goals, which I think are continued weight loss plus building muscles. I have never had (and do not really want) a body builder’s body, but it would be nice to have slightly larger muscles than I do.

    Today’s meeting with Kezi is only a consultation, and we will work out for the first time on Friday. For today, my plan is that after our meeting, I will hop on the treadmill for a good walk – maybe an hour or so – and then shower and sauna there. While I packed my workout bag last night, I realized this morning that I will need a sundries bag. I have one for travel, but I do not want to take that to the gym. Fortunately, it is the time of year when the pharmacy puts the kits on sale in preparation for Christmas, so I will pick one up before I go in. We are meeting at noon, which means that I will likely not be home before 3:00pm… and that my daily meal will have to wait until after that… and that I had better prepare for this by taking a protein bar or shake with me so that I do not spend three hours starving and with no energy.

    Last night I told Leslie of this plan, and she reminded me (in the strongest terms) that it has been a few weeks since I went for a fitness walk, and that I should take care to pace myself, and not hurt or injure myself as I go. On the one hand, she is a bit of a worrier. On the other hand, she has a point. I have come home from my fitness walk a few times with painful and blistered feet. While most often this was because I wore bad shoes, I still have to remember that I am a fifty-year-old man who is still fat, and I cannot push myself like I once could.

    I opened this entry with talk of non-scale victories. The first was joining the gym… although really, the victory will be when I am going to the gym on a regular basis, and not just handing them my credit card. The second was clothing related. Last week I mentioned that I accidentally put on a pair of Size 40 jeans, and that while they were tight, I thought that if my finger was not injured, I might be able to wear them. Last night while speaking with my wife I put them on, and indeed was able to button them up. This was huge for me, and while I will likely wait another week or two before wearing them, it is amazing to know that I can. What I should do is open up my storage bins and see what other Size 40 pants I have, and if they fit me yet. I might do that later today.

    I just finished chatting with my weight-loss buddy, who had her surgery yesterday. She is in good spirits and is quite impressed with the level of care there. I am very happy, because as I likely stated previously, I was worried about the tourism surgery issue. I am relieved that she is doing well.

    What else do I have to do today? I am running out of coffee, so there will be a trip to the supermarket on the calendar. As well, my bank card has been having issues, so I am going to go into the branch and see what is going on… and probably order a new card. I am also going to the pharmacy for a sundries kit. I should also put the empty propane tank into my car, and get it filled up – the petrol station where I can do that is just down the street from the gym, which is convenient. When I get home from the gym, I will have a mid-afternoon meal. I will take Princess Sophie for a walk in the evening. I do not think I have anything else planned for the day. I will relax in the evening. I do not know if the weather will be amenable to a cigar on the balcony, but I will think about that too.

    Have a great day everyone!

  • Day 291

    While I did take small bits of snacks at Ryan’s place yesterday, it was not nearly on the same level as last weekend. I did, however, forget my meal replacement bars – or at least, I thought I did – which meant that I accepted the proffered dinner of a steak sandwich, which I shared with Princess Sophie. It turns out that the meal replacements were in the car, and I could have avoided all of it had I realized that. Sigh.

    My weight this morning is .2lbs up from yesterday, which is really within the margin of error. I am going to the doctor’s office tomorrow and am praying that I am at least 1kg down from two weeks ago, but if I cheat today, that is unlikely. We all know what that means of course… I cannot cheat today! I forgot that I finished the last of my chicken yesterday, which means that I have to go to the supermarket to pick some up today. While I am there, I also need onions and tomatoes. Lord knows, I have enough carrots and celery to sink a ship… owing to my miscalculation regarding the requirements for my chicken soup.

    Speaking of which, I did what I could to remove the schmaltz from the chicken soup, which is now in a jar in my fridge. All seven containers of chicken soup are now in the freezer, and I am somewhat reminded of my mother’s kitchen. Miriam z”l did not have a lot of fine qualities, but she did make fabulous chicken soup. Seldom could you open one of our freezers without finding frozen containers of chicken soup. I can assure you that her soup was much better than mine… and likely any other that I have ever tasted. Of course, those freezers (yes, there was always a second freezer in the house) were replete with everything you can imagine; the Tetris game that I play with my cigars in the humidors is amateur hour compared to how she would pack a freezer. Of course, anyone who disturbed her methods would feel her wrath, but then I did not ever have to work hard to feel that.

    I was speaking with Leslie about how much we miss one another last night. It really is hard to live separately. We are really looking forward to seeing each other in twelve days time, but we both truly long for the day when we can live together forever. Our generation was instilled with the mantra of ‘Good things come to those who wait.’ This is a concept chiefly foreign to the younger generation, who have been raised with the concept of immediate rewards. I know we both have to wait, and eventually the State Department will issue my visa… but the time predicted for that to happen seems so long to us both. At least we have the means and the ability to visit so that we can spend time together every month… but we both feel that each time we part it is harder and harder on us. I pray for a quick response and a positive outcome!

    My plan for the day: I have to go to the supermarket to pick up some chicken and veggies for lunch (for today and the next few days). After that, I am going to Georgetown to a herf with some of the boys up there. I have to be prepared to hear a lot of racist jokes and far-right opinions. I have not yet decided if I am going to keep my opinions to myself or not; this might be a good opportunity for me to practice my reasonable voice. We’ll see… sometimes it is just less stressful to hold my tongue. If there is food at the herf, I will abstain. That is one of the reasons my lunch is so important! I thought about defrosting a steak, but after having the steak sandwich yesterday, I think that would be ill-advised. My gout has not been bothering me since I started taking the preventative meds daily, but why tempt fate, right?

    Have a great day folks!