Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Day 276

    NEWS FLASH! After a week of faltering on my program and seeing my weight staying roughly the same (within a pound and a half), I was able to stick to the plan yesterday, eating only what is prescribed in my weight management guide, plus a challah roll with peanut butter, which replaced two meal replacements.

    SCALE VICTORY! I crashed through that elusive 310lbs barrier! With a whopping 2.6lbs drop from yesterday, not only bringing me into that last 300-pound decade, but also back into the best-weight-ever territory.

    Yes, it is entirely possible that the next time I see my wife (which will be in 27 days) I could weigh under 300 pounds… that terrible milestone that I have always hated, and that for the many years of my weight loss struggles I have viewed as the boundary between absolutely disgusting, and just really bad.

    My scale app (it should surprise nobody that I have a Bluetooth scale that connects to my phone and tracks my progress in the cloud) has a field that I set for myself years ago – likely sometime during my 2020 weight loss attempt – that is my target weight. I set it at 210lbs, which might or might not be realistic. For the first time since March 7, 2021 (almost exactly a year and a half ago) I am less than 100lbs from that goal weight.

    While it might be easy to see my next major milestone as being that century – I am 8.4lbs away from registering under 300 pounds – that would neglect one huge milestone that is between now and then. While I do not remember the first conversation I had with her, I know that Leslie and I started our training for the FastTrack team at Microsoft together on March 1, 2021. My best weight from that week was 305.6lbs, the morning of Wednesday, March 3. My next milestone is that… I am 2.6lbs away from my lowest weight since I met my wife. While she has seen pictures, Leslie has never known me weighing less than that. I am truly looking forward to her seeing me start to get slimmer than she has ever known me… and her watching me continue to shrink until I am at last in good and healthy shape.

    It is worth mentioning, by the way, that according to my scale app my Body Mass Index (BMI) is below 40. In fact, it has been straddling the line around 40 since the beginning of the month. This morning it is neither 40.1 nor 39.9… it is 39.6, which is cause for note as well!

    My goal for today is to do my best. Charlie is visiting with Princess Sophie for a couple of hours, and his mom asked me to not leave them home alone. I could drop him off at her apartment and go out, but I would rather not do that. Liz and Charlie have been so good to us that I think it is the least I can do to let them play together while she is out gardening. I will head to Lyle and Dorothy’s house after lunch, whether Liz is home or not… she should be. However, I do not have to go out before that… despite maybe wanting to go for a walk.

    While this weekend (and the next few days) is scheduled to be pretty nice, I know that winter is coming. I have been giving more serious thought to a gym membership. I spoke with my former personal trainer today (who is also a Facebook friend) and asked if she gets any sort of bonus or recognition if she brings me in to the club, but she does not. I will likely go into the club Monday or Tuesday to sign up.

    While joining the gym will give me access to the aerobic exercise machines that will take the place of my outdoor fitness walking, it will also give me access to anaerobic equipment, which will let me work on growing muscles. I do not want to be a body builder, but larger biceps and triceps would be great. I guess I should speak with my wife to confirm what she wants me to look like… I do not think she will want me to have a swimmer’s body, but if I am such a huge proponent of communications, it would be a good idea to ask!

    Okay, enough procrastinating. It is time to go about my day. I am going to make lunch, and then likely I’ll head over to Lyle and Dorothy’s to enjoy a cigar smoking afternoon on the patio. With a forecast high of 20° Celsius today, it might be the last day of the year where that mark will be hit. The next few days are projected at 17°, and from there it just drops into mid-autumn temperatures… and precipitation. Today will not be the last good cigar smoking day of the year… but if it was not for my propane heater, it would be one of them.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 268

    I knew that after a few days of tremendous weight loss, I would be adjusting for a couple of days. The only thing I am looking forward to about being back in Canada is the boring normalcy of my regimen… I will not be traveling, I will not be going to restaurants, I will not be going to cigar lounges where the host insists I try a dram of Irish whiskey to give my opinion on a particular pairing. I will not be invited to backyard barbecues where I am fed liberal quantities of carne asada.

    I was speaking with Leslie yesterday, and lamented how nice it would be if by the time she arrived in Canada next month I could fit into my 2017 suits. I know that will be an amazing non-scale victory, but I also tie it to a scale victory… about the same time I drop below 300lbs, I should be able to fit into those suits and shirts. I remember that the first time I wore one of them to synagogue services in 2020, I was around 296lbs. Leslie loves wearing dresses, and I would love to dress up in a nice tailored suit to accompany her. I do think I look pretty good wearing my custom-tailored pants and sports jacket (which I had made in March, and then tailored down in August), but there is something special about a suit… and while I do have ‘fat suits,’ I do not ever want to wear one of them again. I want to wear clothes that make me feel like I deserve to walk into a room with my wife, and not look like Fat Albert.

    Yesterday went almost, but not exactly the way I expected it to. Both Leslie and I completely forgot about the leftovers, and I went to pick up salads for us for lunch from our favourite drive-thru salad place. I do want to state, for the record, that it feels really weird to have a favourite drive-thru salad place, but that is a conversation for another time. For dinner, we did go for Chinese food, and while I did make a bad choice, and ate more than I should have, I did not really overdo it. However, I do know better than to have the sweet and sticky Szechuan sauces. Next week, I will eat much better, but today and tomorrow I am going to enjoy dinner with my wife!

    I have a lot of work to do this morning, and I have a 12:30pm meeting about a class that I am teaching next week. Before that meeting, Leslie and I will sit down for a lunch of leftovers – I’ll finish off the Mexican food, and she will attack the Chinese food. After my meeting, we are going to the Davidoff event at Cigars International, because that is far and away Leslie’s favourite brand of cigars. I will find time between this and that to shower and dress up, as it will be a fun and special dress-up outing for both of us. After the event, we will likely have a nice dinner around that area.

    After dinner last night, Leslie got the confirmation email that my laptop has shipped, and will be here in time for me to take it back to Canada. I am quite happy about that, as it means that as soon as I get home, I can advertise this laptop for sale. While the two devices are reasonably similar in specs (both Core i7 processors with 16gb of RAM), the new one is 15” (this one is 13”), and most importantly – the reason I actually decided to buy it – the new one will be under warranty. With the amount of travel I do, I consider that a huge benefit. For the last year, I have been using a laptop that is not under warranty, and while I am not doing the same amount of travel I once did, it still has 15,000 miles on it – which includes three round-trips from Toronto to Dallas, one round-trip from Dallas to California, and several road trips from Toronto to Montreal. I am hardly concerned when it is sitting on my desk, but a laptop in motion always has the potential to break. In short, new laptop = geek-out fun!

    You can tell that autumn is in the air, even in Dallas. Last night, Leslie and I sat out on the balcony with a cigar and a beverage. While it was not cool enough that I thought to put on long sleeves, it was definitely not hot enough to worry about my wife being uncomfortable. Yes, she much prefers the cool weather to the hot. I can only imagine the shock to my system when I arrive back in Canada…

    My diet buddy and I had our weekly check-in yesterday, and she told me more about her decision to have the surgery. I am going to continue to try to support her, although I suspect that she might decide later on that she needs someone that can relate to her experience. We will see.

    While it might get cooler this evening, the forecast high today is 86° Fahrenheit, which will be quite warm. I will not wear my sports coat in the car on my way to the event. As I mentioned, I have some work to do this morning, which I guess I should get at.

    Have a great day everybody!

  • Day 267

    Yesterday went almost exactly as I predicted. After breakfast and coffee, I took another cup of coffee and spent the day at the cigar lounge, this time sitting on the patio most of the day. The mistake that I made was that I neglected to pack a couple of meal replacement bars into my kit, so I got there with nothing to eat. My options were to order food in, or eat nothing. Surprisingly, I opted for the second option.

    When Leslie came to pick me up, we headed right home, and I had my second meal replacement of the day. She was hungry too, having spent the day at the office. Rather than eating another meal replacement bar (which was already in my hands), we decided to go for an early dinner. We opted for Mexican food. What we ate was mostly healthy and program-friendly, with the exception of the nacho chips. Those chips with salsa, sitting on the table in front of two very hungry people who hardly ate all day, were too tempting for both of us.

    I weigh more this morning than I did yesterday, but that is more likely an adjustment, and not because I ate nacho chips at the restaurant. Aside from the fact that I was sedentary all day yesterday, I had also dropped nearly six pounds in two days. That is a lot of weight, and it makes sense that it adjusted back… I am glad it was only .6 of a pound, and not more.

    My foot is still hurting today, but it is more of an ache than an agony. Even last night it was feeling like someone dropped a bowling ball on it. Now it feels… like it’s in a bit of pain. It is still enflamed, and looking at my two big toes side by side there is a noticeable difference. I continue to take Ibuprofen for it, but will probably add Naproxen to that for a couple of days to reduce the swelling. In the meantime, I will not fitness-walk today, but I will walk to the UPS Store to drop off packages… and maybe I will walk around the block to make it a 3-4km walk. We’ll see.

    Leslie and I both bought new laptops yesterday. She gets an employee discount on Microsoft Surface devices, and I have been using Surface for a decade now. I am looking forward to my new laptop… but I likely won’t receive it until Leslie comes to visit me next month, because I am going back to Canada on Sunday. Oh well, I can wait.

    My plans for the day are… none. I have no plans for the day. I have errands to run, which won’t take an hour. I have leftover Mexican food for lunch. In the afternoon I will likely do some reading. In the evening, Leslie and I will spend another magnificent evening together on the patio… just as we did last night. It was our first day without her son in two weeks, and it was quite quiet and relaxing. We were able to have a lot of great conversations about a lot of things that we cannot discuss in front of the child. Tonight, we might shift our location from the balcony to the pool area, but that is a decision we can make anytime between now and then. I do not know what we will do for dinner, but it will be healthy. Maybe I will make chicken… we will see.

    Oh, we also picked up her new eyeglasses yesterday. I point this out only because we were not able to pick up my new eyeglasses yesterday. We ordered them from the same store that uses the same lab at the same time, but hers came in last week, and mine will come in next week… after I am back in Canada. Yes, Leslie will be able to collect them and mail them to me… but it would have been nice to get them before I left.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 264

    Yesterday did not go well for me. I fell off the wagon. I do not know what happened to me, but it was bad. It was not a cheat day; it was a failure. Today I have to get back on the wagon. I am starting it right, with a meal replacement and a cup of coffee.

    What is the difference between a cheat and a failure? Intent and enjoyment. A cheat meal would be if I were to say: ‘You know what? I deserve a bowl of pasta. I have been good this week, and while it is not on my program, I can afford one bad meal.’ A cheat is something I will enjoy, that is planned. When coming home from the lounge at nearly 9:00pm, I realized I was hungry. Trying to be good, I drove up to Salad To Go at 9:00pm exactly, and had just missed them by one minute. A success would have been to go home and have a meal replacement. What I did was I drove across the street to Panda Express. I do not even like Panda Express. That was a failure, pure and simple.

    My foot is still in pain. It is not as bad as it was… not nearly. I suspect it was a bout of gout, probably because of the carne asada from Friday night. Whatever it was, I was stupid for not just picking up some painkillers Saturday morning. When I walked into the apartment yesterday, among the first things that I did was to take a couple of Ibuprofen. All that to say, I am hoping to resume my fitness walking tomorrow. I think I need one more day though.

    My plan for the day is to spend a good deal of it at the cigar lounge doing some reading. Around 4:00pm I will come home to shower and change my clothes, and at 5:30pm I will be at the airport to pick up Leslie and her son. I saw them Saturday but have missed them! I am really looking forward to hugging my wife. I will stop by Salad to Go to pick up a salad for lunch, and will not leave the lounge until it is time. Today should be an easy day to control my food intake.

    By the way: I wrote yesterday that I hoped to be below 315lbs this morning. I was not – I am 316.2lbs, which means I gained five pounds on the trip… but I honestly expect that much of that is from yesterday, with all the crap… much of it was salty. NOT GONNA DO IT TODAY!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 263

    The Day of Disney was enjoyable, and while I did not stick to the plan, it could have been much worse. I had avocado toast for breakfast on my way there, then mid-afternoon Leslie’s son wanted pizza. My options were either non-kosher, or cheese pizza. Yes, I ate lousy pizza. Leslie (my biggest supporter) and I agreed that there were no better options.

    On my way home from the park, I decided to pick up chicken from El Pollo Loco. I seem to recall my ex-girlfriend loved the food there. I don’t understand it, but to each their own. It is not that it is bad, just… well, having eaten at Zankou this week, I know there are much better options.

    My step count was exceptional. I do not remember the final tally, and because I am in the air I cannot check. Aside from the park (which is a lot of walking to begin with), I decided to return my rental car last night, and then walked back to my hotel. Yes, for a regular fitness walker, the extra mile (quite literally) should not be a problem. However, when you are walking around on a foot that is in agony, it was a challenge.

    I confess, I also had a bag of chips last night. Bad Mitch! After doing so well at the park, the chips was not the worst thing in the world… but it was not good.

    At the park, I did have a bite of Leslie’s churro, and I also had three spoonfuls of the milkshake monstrosity they shared. By the way, four of us could have shared the thing and still been over our daily calories limit. I am glad I was able to restrain myself. The boy was hugely excited about the thing, but that’s why they sell them.

    My breakfast options at the airport were not great. Again, I opted to eat kosher-style, so a turkey avocado sandwich was my only option. That and a cup of coffee satisfied me nicely. In flight, I did have the cookies with my coffee, but only one (I usually ask for a second).

    Leslie was worried that I would not be eating the chicken legs & thighs that I have in the freezer today, but I gotta say that after nearly a week on the road, I am really looking forward to cooking my own food. I am probably meeting friends this evening, so when I am back from the airport it will be my midday meal.

    Oh, and I have a new friend. For the first time in a while, I brought a second carry-on bag with me, so my new R2 unit could comfortably fly with me. I’ll post pictures to Facebook when I am home.

    I expect I’ll have gained a couple of pounds this week, but it should not be disastrous. I am crossing my fingers though… if I stayed under 315lbs I’ll be happy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 262

    I did not sleep as long as I would have liked, but I did sleep very soundly. I really liked the bed I suppose. In a couple of hours I am heading to Anaheim to see my wife and her son at Disneyland, which will be a lot of fun. I just hope that I do not fall off the weight management program too badly. Tomorrow I am heading back to Dallas, which will be a relief for the simplicity of following the program. Even with the travel day, I am not nearly as worried about the airport and airplanes as I am of Disneyland.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 261

    I do not usually write at the end of the day, but it has been a very busy and packed day. Last night I did not get to bed until 2:15am, after a long and great day. I did start the shake with a meal replacement shake and a cup of coffee, and then I headed out.

    I started at my rabbi’s house, where his wife made me a plate of food (rabbi, wife, you get it, right?) that was tasty and healthy. It consisted mostly of eggs and avocado, and it was delicious. While it was my intention to be there for an hour or so, we ended up chatting until 1:30pm, at which point I drove to Beverly Hills.

    The Grand Havana Room is an exclusive private club that has many members whose names you will know. I sat down with two very good friends, and before long there were nine of us around the table, many of whom I knew from previous visits to the club, plus a couple of new guys who were equally great to chat with. I ordered a scotch (which I later realized was a $40 dram), and later a café latté. When those friends left, I joined another friend’s table (which was planned weeks ago), and we sat around discussing and solving the ills of the world, all the while enjoying fine cigars, plus another cup of coffee.

    It was 8:30pm by the time I walked out, and I realized I had not eaten since 10:00am. I was meeting other friends in Glendale, and I had the choice of an amazing khachapuri (an Armenian and Georgian delicacy that is essentially a personal pizza with lots of bread and cheese, plus an egg in the middle) … or I could go to Zankou, an Armenian rotisserie chicken restaurant that was always a favourite of mine. While I can get chicken anywhere, and khachapuri is hard to find in the parts of the world I usually frequent, I also knew that the chicken was a much more weight management friendly option (although still not perfect). I opted for the chicken.

    After dinner I went to the cigar lounge where I used to hang out when I lived in Glendale, where a bunch of guys (all of whom I know pretty well) were playing poker. The plan was for me to wait there and smoke, waiting for my buddy (with whom I was staying) to finish playing. They wrapped at 12:15pm, and he and I headed back to his place. I knew I had an early morning, so I decided to pack my suitcase before going to sleep. All I had to do in the morning was wake up, shower, get dressed, put my sundries into the suitcase, and head out.

    I indeed started early, arriving at the breakfast restaurant by 8:15am. I had an incredible avocado toast with an egg, plus a couple cups of coffee. I saw a friend for a bit, and then headed back to the rabbi’s house. Today is the day when the community is invited to finish building and decorating the succah (for the upcoming holiday Succoth). I knew they were expecting people to start coming in the afternoon, but I was meeting two friends – one for lunch at 11:45am, and then one for a cigar at 1:15pm), and I wanted to sit with him to talk one last time before I leave. Also, while I love his wife, I am glad she was not home, lest she feed me again!

    While I did meet Orrin and his son for lunch, I did not eat, having finished my breakfast only a couple of hours earlier. We sat outside and I smoked a cigar while they ate (it is a cigar-friendly terrace). While I wanted to keep the chat going, I had to then drive to Woodland Hills, where I was meeting Bob.

    The owner of the cigar lounge (do you see a pattern to this trip?) recognized me, and asked why I never showed up. You see, right before I left for Canada, I met him at the lounge where I was a member, and I promised to come by and see his new lounge. I had been there, but not since before he took it over. I promised I would, right after I got back from my ten-day trip. That ten-day trip turned into I never ended up coming back to California, and so he thought I left him hanging for sixteen months. We sat and discussed many things about the cigar industry. Yes, Bob came by for a while and we caught up, but what was supposed to be a 90-minute stay at the lounge ended up taking up my day… and evening.

    As we were halfway through our third cigar, the owner invited me to join him and several of his members at one of their houses for a barbecue. I went, and it was a great evening. They barbecued carne asada (essentially steaks), and because most of them are Jewish, they invited me to say the prayers over the wine and challah. We sat for a couple of hours, then Johnny and I had to head out. He drove me back to the lounge (where I had my car), and we parted ways. I drove to my hotel, and am happy to be in my room. It was a long and wonderful day.

    I had two meals today, both of which had more bread than I would normally eat, but were mostly good nonetheless. Aside from the challah, dinner was mostly protein and salad. I do not expect that I will pay too dearly for it.

    Tomorrow, I am driving to Disneyland, where I will spend the day with my wife and her son. While I have very little interest in theme parks, it will be a great day… and at the end of the day, we are building a droid, which will be fun. Mostly I am looking forward to hugging my wife, which I have not been able to do since she drove me to the airport on Monday. I will try to eat well during the day, but I am scared of what options there will be at the Disneyland park. I am crossing my fingers.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 260

    The fast went well (after the salt incident Tuesday evening was resolved), and I broke the fast with friends. There are two issues here: 1) Breaking the fast is often a salty meal, as this was; and 2) It is not reasonable to expect someone to make good food choices after 25 hours of fasting. All this to say that I did not lose the water-retention weight, but that will come after a few days. I am just happy to have spent a wonderful couple of days with my congregation and with friends.

    Today I will be at my favourite private cigar lounge in Beverly Hills for the afternoon and evening. I will be able to make good choices there.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 257

    While I did not get any exercise yesterday, I still managed to walk 4,600 steps. That may be nothing compared to the previous day’s 23,000+ steps day, or even the ~13,000 steps that I take on a day when I do go for a fitness walk… but for a day when I am mostly sedentary and relaxing, it is not bad. Leslie received a package in her mailbox that was delivered to her by accident, and I jumped at the opportunity to go for a walk to search for the intended recipient. It was not a fitness walk, but I had gone to bed the previous evening having decided that I would not be fitness walking. All in all, 4,600 steps was just fine by me.

    The bathroom scale was forgiving this morning, despite my indulgences of French toast for brunch, and then chicken nuggets for dinner. It could have been much worse – I took Leslie and her son to Braum’s for ice cream, and I sat watching them indulge. I did not even take a taste, which might have brought down my defenses. Yes, I was happy to take them, and I was happy to sit and watch them enjoy. Had I taken just a taste, I might have broken down and monched my own cone. It did not hurt that they both picked flavours that are not among my favourites, but that just contributed to my will power!

    In about an hour, Leslie will drive me to the airport. Yes, today is a travel day, and I know I have to be much more aware of my intake than I was on my last travel day. Coming down to Dallas, I was terrible. Today, knowing that I do not have to pass through US Customs, I am much calmer, and do not have to worry about stress eating. I do have to be cognizant of opportunity eating, which in an airport terminal, where there is sweet little to do, is a real danger. To try to fight off the cravings, I will be taking a couple of meal replacement bars with me in my carry-on bag. There, I packed them. All done.

    I am going to miss my wife something terrible, but at least I will see her Saturday during the day. Yes, a day at Disneyland is once again another opportunity for hundreds of cheats, and I have to be careful there. Fortunately, I will be with my wife, and she is a very good influence on my weight management program.

    It is time to head for the airport. Leslie has a call that she cannot miss, so she is dropping me off early. That is fine… I will have a book, and I will just relax in the terminal.

    Have a great day folks! I’ll see you in California!

  • Further and Further!

    I set out on my walk today to see if I could come close to Thursday’s record-breaking walk. I have been happy that I have been able to not only crack the 7km ceiling that I seem to have had in Dallas, but do it a few times, and with gusto. In fact, breaking my distance record Thursday was a real milestone for me. Would I be able to match it?

    • Distance: 15.56km (13.02km)
    • Duration: 2:40:02 (2:08:09)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:17 (9:50)
    • Best Split-Pace Kilometre: 9m34 (9m40)
    • Steps: 19.3k (16.3k)
    • Calories burned: 1,871 (1,571)
    • Elevation gain: 76.5 (66.6)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 120 (126)

    I certainly was not breaking any speed records today, but I shattered all my previous distance-related marks. I was only able to break the 10m00s mark for three separate kilometres, which was disappointing. For the first couple of 10+ minute kilometres I made the excuse that because there was no sidewalk, I was walking on grass. Leslie has a better theory though, that I am essentially starving my body, and she is probably right.

    We had lunch at Panera Bread Company, and I had a salad with chicken. I also ate the roll that they gave me with it, which I probably should not have done, but which also probably fueled the last five kilometres of my walk. For dinner, Leslie and the boy are preparing a pasta salad, which Leslie knows is not on my diet, but it is something that he helps to prepare, and he is excited to ‘cook’ for me. I am not depriving him of that. No, I should not be eating pasta, but I should also not be disappointing a seven-year-old boy who wants to show off for his new step-father. I expect that the near-1900 calories I burned during the walk will more than make up for whatever I eat this evening.

    Once again, I know it doesn’t count… but I got onto the bathroom scale after my shower, and was down more than two pounds from this morning. It was nice to see 310.8lbs on the scale… even though I never count weigh-ins at 6:00pm! Hopefully tomorrow morning the scale will be equally nice… but it is a lot to expect a weight loss of two pounds in a day… even with the monster walks!

    I will not be walking tomorrow, for several reasons… not the least of which is that I need a day or two to recover from today. Monday I am flying to California, so while I started October with a bang, I do not expect the next three days to be nearly as impressive.