Losing a part of me

Category: Willpower

  • Kindly Shut Up!

    I mentioned earlier that I was at a friend’s birthday party over the weekend, and it was a lovely day… that was marred by my friend trying to get me to eat something that I should not eat. In this particular case, he was telling me how good the blood sausage was. I told him that as a practicing Jew, I cannot eat it because it is not kosher. My friend, who was born Jewish but has never practiced the religion, told me something like ‘I know… but today it’s okay to eat it.’ I was truly offended. My friend knew me before I started observing many of the dietary laws of my faith, so I suppose he knows that I would like it.

    It is amazing that thirty-three years after I graduated high school, I am still subject to peer pressure… and this, from an 82-year-old man.

    My relationship with G-d is nobody else’s business, and it is my responsibility alone to eat or to not eat in accordance with my faith. My friend did not hold me down and force non-kosher food into my mouth. I had to make the decision on my own… and I made the correct decision.

    Where I made the wrong decision was when the deserts came out, and I was handed a piece of birthday cake. Again, as someone on a diet, it is up to me to eat or to not eat what I should or should not be eating.

    Where that argument starts to weaken is when people try to tell you ‘Oh, you can diet tomorrow!’ or ‘Just take a break… one piece of cake won’t kill you!’ The (ironically phrased) icing on the cake is ‘Oh you are doing so well! Just have this, it is so good!’

    Let’s put this into context by replacing some of the words:

    ‘Mitch, you are a heroin addict, but you have done so well kicking the habit… one shot won’t kill you!? Just have this, it is so good!’

    Do you see where I am going with this? Food is an addiction and getting off the foods that are so terrible for us – and not just for a day, but for the long term – is extremely difficult, and requires a discipline that many people just do not have. I have been overweight for nearly as long as I have been out of the Army and kicking those terrible habits that I learned for so many years (from people who I thought loved me) is the hardest thing I have ever done. How hard? I have done it twice… and each time I ended up back where I was and am not on my third attempt.

    What is worse is that so many of the people who encourage you to take a day off from your diet are the same ones who told you that you needed to lose weight (or more often made fun of you behind your back). They are often the same people who tell you how great you are looking, and that you should keep it up. They are too often the people who claim to be your greatest advocates for success.

    By the way, some of these people are not actually trying to sabotage your diet… although that is exactly the result. Many of them think that after so many weeks or months of work that you actually deserve that piece of cake, bowl of ice cream, whatever. They do not know what temptations you were exposed to or succumbed to yesterday because they were not there. They do not know what will happen tomorrow because they will not be there. They assume that you can be on a diet 100% of the time… when you are not with them, but when you are with them you should enjoy the same foods that caused you to need to diet in the first place.

    In the end I did not touch the blood sausage, and my religious dietary discipline was maintained. However, the negative advice from my friend consumed my mind, and when it came time for birthday cake, I was not paying attention to the fact that I was doing so well on my diet; I ate the cake and a couple of pastries. While I am always responsible for what I put into my mouth, I was driven to distraction by the negative encouragement. Yes, it is on me… but my friend can claim an assist.

    Let me be clear, and this applies to both religion and to weight management: You can either be my advocate and ally one hundred percent of the time, or you can kindly shut up and keep your critiques and opinions to yourself. Do you remember how well you said I was doing? I did all of that without your advice and I am certainly not going to follow any advice to stop doing well. Some would say that your negative encouragement is counter intuitive. I say it is stupid and offensive, and I don’t want to hear it. Take your ‘advice’ to cheat just this once and shove it up your ass.

  • Day 128

    I hate bathroom scales. I think I am going to move into my doctor’s office so that I can get an accurate read every morning. I got onto the scale, and it was flip-flopping between two numbers that look very similar to yesterday’s number. I stepped off, nudged it closer to the wall, and when I got back on, it read that I am 2.4 lbs down from yesterday. I got back on twice more to confirm, and that’s where it stands. Unstable floors suck.

    So yes, I still hate the floor in my apartment. That is the biggest reason my bathroom (sic) scale is unreliable. I hope that in the bedroom it is more accurate, and some days it is… and then there are days like today, when I get this crap. My cleaning lady was here Wednesday and quipped to me that the landlord is going to have to replace the floors when I move out. Funny you should mention it Kerry, but I just told the landlady the other day that very same thing. I also said that if they (the owners) try to deduct it from my security deposit, I would ask her to testify to my lifestyle, which is mostly clean and orderly, and certainly not destructive. She can also testify that HRF Princess Sophie has not once ever had an accident in the apartment. I do not think it would ever come to that though… I informed the owners in the first month or two of my lease that the floors were literally coming apart in places, and when they were showing me the apartment before I moved in, even they pointed out some places in the floor that were weak and uneven.

    Yesterday was my first peanut-free day. That is not to say that I did not cheat. Thanks Gilly. No, I am not blaming my son the younger for my cheating… it only sounds that way. He wanted to go to Lone Star Grill for dinner, and so we did. He ordered a plate of Buffalo wings and an order of chips with queso… which from what I can tell is a sort of Velveeta dip that while similar to cheese is actually mostly a liquid. I stole as many as a dozen chips from him throughout the course of the meal, which for me was a chicken Caesar salad, which I had to send back once because even if it was just for show (which it is not), I cannot in good conscience sit in a restaurant wearing a kippa (yarmulke, Jewish head covering that resembles and is sometimes referred to as a beanie) while eating a salad with bacon bits. Yes, it was a pretty decent salad… and what with me asking them to go light on the dressing and without the bacon, it was much less even than the 560 calories listed on their menu.

    The menu also listed a Buffalo cauliflower option, but that was 720 calories, and the reviews online were not great. With that said, I am thinking of trying to make it in the next few days… We’ll see.

    This morning I promised Leslie I would look at something for her (really for us), and then I will make a reasonable lunch. Eduardo might come over later in the day for a cigar, and it would be great to see him. However other than that I have no real plans of straying far from home today… and certainly not to Bulk Barn!

    Oh, also I am hoping that my diet buddy reschedules our meeting for later today. I was with my son when we were supposed to meet, so I missed our regular time slot.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 98

    We are not yet at next week, but I hope nonetheless that I am in a better frame of mind today than I was yesterday. I know the work that I still have to do today, and while there is a deadline, I am nonetheless back on track to complete the task before the hard deadline. I am at my desk slightly earlier than I might otherwise be, were I not burdened with completing this assignment before day’s end. Otherwise, this morning is similar to most.

    I was surprised, when I checked the temperature and forecast this morning, to see that it was 1°C outside. It is not bitterly cold, but it is certainly cold enough that I pulled my ski jacket out, rather than my spring jacket that I have worn the last week. I decided that I would wear my older ski jacket, and not the one that I purchased at the beginning of this past winter. I wanted to prove to myself that I was not imagining that the smaller jacket fit. It does. I zipped it against the wind, and I was more than comfortable in it… even though it is still snug. That is to be expected, of course… but at the beginning of next season I hope it will not be so.

    I wrote yesterday evening that I was not sated by my smaller meals, and that I indulged in two extra meal-replacement bars throughout the day. I will adjust my portions accordingly today, in hope that I will have no need to do so again. While there may be little difference in calories between the larger meal and the meal replacement bars, the lunchtime meal starts to digest earlier, and… well, we will see.

    The bathroom scale (I am not going to start referring to it as the bedroom scale, despite its recent relocation) gave me three different readings today. Unlike past times, when these might be many pounds different, today’s three readings were all very similar – the three separated by 4/10ths of a pound. In the end, I settled for the middle reading, which has me up 2/10ths of a pound from yesterday. I know, I cannot be impatient. I also have to trust that despite all of these maddening daily ups and downs, I have been consistently down on my fortnightly weigh-ins at the doctor’s office. Those are the ones that really matter, right?

    Two weeks from today I will be waking up next to Leslie in Cuba for the first time. That means, of course, that she is arriving here in under two weeks. I am very excited – I really miss her. I love our long video chats, but it is not the same as being able to hold her in my arms. Friends who know we are going are asking if I am excited to be going back to Cuba after all this time. After all, this has been the longest span of time that I have not been in many years. Yes, I am excited… but I am so much more excited for going with Leslie. I am excited to share with her a gorgeous beach vacation where we can relax and enjoy ourselves… without any stress or aggravation or work.

    While there are days when I look out the window and am tempted to blow off my work to sit outside with a cigar, today is not one of them. It is not raining, but the sounds of the outside world – the wind, with hints of Blue (our upstairs neighbour Siberian Husky) crying will keep me honest today. The forecast high is 4°C, with a 50% chance of snow flurries. While the overnight temps will drop to -2°C, I will be in bed for all of the below-freezing hours. Tomorrow’s high is forecast at 10°, which is lovely… except that I will be inside teaching most of the day… and inside learning for most of the evening. The weekend is looking nice though… and not only because of the weather. I will be quite relieved to have this class behind me.

    Today is the ninety-eighth day of my diet; I have recorded my thoughts in this journal every day since January 20. While there have been bad days (Day 45 was the worst of them), I think I have, for the most part, done pretty well. No, I am not on the strict, one hundred percent meal-replacement program that the weight loss clinics would prescribe. However, most weight loss professionals would likely agree that losing forty-five pounds in 98 days is nothing to sneeze at, and indeed is a healthy pace. They usually tell you that 1-2 lbs per week is a healthy pace, and I am exactly there. The fact that I had previously succeeded in losing 100 lbs in the same time period (in 2017) is not relevant, as I was on the extreme program then with absolutely no solid foods. While some might see my current diet as extreme, I assure you that it is far from it… two meals per day is not bad at all.

    Of course, if I was losing weight faster, I would be happy… but I might also not be able to fit into the clothes that I ordered a month ago, which will be arriving in another month or so. They say 8-10 weeks, and I am eagerly hoping that they arrive sooner rather than later. Either way, they should be here in time for my flight to Dallas, which is June 16. I know, it is going to be extremely hot in Dallas in June… but wouldn’t it be nice one evening to be able to dress up for my girlfriend? Maybe to go out on the town, enjoy a fine meal, or even just a walk in the park. She deserves that!

    Since sitting down the first time this morning, I received an unexpected call that my glasses were ready. I ran down to the optometrist to collect them, as NOW was the only available slot they had for me to come in today. I headed out, and after having the sunglasses fixed (they were my own frames, so they do not guarantee anything… and yes, a piece fell off, but yes, it was repairable) I came home, sat down to work, and promptly had a dog jump up to sit on my desk, preventing any possible work. Okay, so I am now two hours behind on the day… but I should be able to make it through.

    Now that I can get back at my keyboard, it is time to do some work. Have a great day folks!

  • Losing and Gaining and Losing Again

    I wrote earlier about the times I have lost weight, and then gained it back. After I finished that piece, I decided to go back to look and see just how long it takes to fall from grace.

    The first time I lost the weight, I was following a medically supervised intensive program. I lost one hundred pounds in just over twelve weeks. It was great! I was feeling wonderful, I was looking better than I had in years. The Province of Ontario’s medical insurance (Ontario Health Insurance Program, or OHIP) allows you to do the program only once, and only for twelve weeks. After that, they essentially kick you to the kerb. I struggled to stay on track; I even tried to get back on the program. Unfortunately, the discipline required to restart once you have stopped was, at the time, beyond me. In July 2017 I weighed my best, around 265 lbs. By New Years or so I was back up around the 300 lbs mark. A year and a half later, in July 2019, I weighed around 370 lbs.

    My next honest try was in California. It was still supervised by a doctor, but this time I was paying for it out of pocket. I did not stay true to the program for one extended period of time, but over the next fourteen months I dropped down to my absolute best weight, 260.8 lbs on September 28, 2020. It was two months later that I last popped back over the 290 lbs mark, and on December 22 of that year I was back over three hundred pounds. I got back down to just under 285 lbs toward the end of January 2021, but on February 18 I was back above 300 lbs, where I have been ever since. By March 18 I was at 320 lbs, and around the day my father died (April 19) I was over 330 lbs. On the morning I flew back to Canada (July 16, 2021) I weighed in at 348.2 lbs. Over the next six months, during which I did not really weigh myself, I gained another forty-five pounds.

    I was not able to accurately weigh myself then, but on January 20, 2022, I was at my heaviest weight ever, somewhere around 392 lbs.

    Let’s recap: In August 2017 I weighed 262, and twenty-three months later I weighed 370. In September 2020 I weighed 260.8, and seventeen months later I weighed 390.

    If ever there was proof that I cannot let my guard down ever, and that this struggle with my weight is one that I will need to actively fight until the day that I die, it is those numbers right there. It took me less than two years to gain 108 lbs. It took me less than a year and a half to gain nearly 130 lbs.

    All it takes is my letting my guard down, thinking that I can eat the way I used to eat… or more accurately, not thinking about how or what I eat.

    I have lost about forty-five pounds in the last eighty-four days; at this rate, I will be down to my ideal weight in just under a year. It has taken a lot of hard work, willpower, and sacrifice to get this far, and I know it will take even more to get to where I want to be. I cannot throw all of that away again. I’ve already done it twice; this time – the third time has to be the charm. If not, I am eventually going to eat myself into an early grave – in a coffin that will break the backs of six pallbearers.

    The third time is the charm; with dedication and perseverance – and the love of a wonderful woman – I will get to where I want to be, and I will stay there.

  • Day 61

    Welcome to a brand-new week! It is going to be a lovely day today, and so when I am not working (and I do have some work to do during the day) I plan to be sitting outside enjoying the sunshine. I heard good news from the wife of my dad’s friend yesterday that he is recovering nicely, and we are all thankful for that.

    Yesterday was another good-food, questionable quantities day. I had more chicken than I should have, but otherwise I ate well. After dinner, I was still a bit peckish; I thought about having a meal replacement bar, but I decided instead to have a glass of water and a cigar on the balcony. One thing I need to always remember – not only during my weight loss, but forever – is that the message from our stomach that we are full can take 20 minutes to reach our brain, and so we might still think we are hungry long after we are satisfied. Remembering that last night worked. I had a meal replacement shake in the mid-evening, and I finished the day well. Oh, I should also mention that I went to Bulk Barn to pick up a few things, and I added a small handful of red-skinned peanuts (unsalted) to my order to nibble in the car. Some of the other things that I bought or could have bought were much worse than that, and I did not feel bad picking up the 20-or-so peanuts.

    Any day that my bathroom scale registers a steep drop (as it did yesterday morning) I expect that it will even out the following day. This morning I stepped onto the scale expecting to see a slight gain, despite being mostly good yesterday. The fact is that yesterday morning I was down nearly 1.5 pounds, and 4 pounds since Thursday. I was extremely happy that I did not give back any of it this morning… I did not lose any more, but I did not gain either. I’ll take it! If I can keep it up, within the next week to ten days I should be able to weigh myself on the doctor’s scale… even with my clothes on!

    I do quite a bit of shopping on Facebook Marketplace, and yesterday I made what many (including myself) would consider the oddest purchase I have ever made online. I bought a clarinet. If you are wondering, the answer is no, I do not play the clarinet. I do, however, have a girlfriend who plays… but I think she has one. Amanda, on the other hand, does not. A couple of weeks ago when I was at their place for dinner, Amanda was lamenting that Cam did not take the hint to buy her one for Christmas… and so I bought her one for her birthday (which was Friday). Yes, I had sent her flowers, but I thought that she would appreciate it… and the jab at my buddy Cam would be a bit of fun.

    My plans for the day are to stick to the program and try to make it through to the end of the day with no cheats. I bought a beautiful cut of salmon for dinner; I usually buy the tail (which is much cheaper), but the middle cut was on sale, so I decided to splurge. I will marinate it in lemon juice with some salt and black pepper, and when it comes out of the air fryer, I will sprinkle it liberally with fresh dill. It should make for a delicious meal, with a generous salad to accompany it.

    Have a great day folks, and enjoy the weather!

  • Day 46

    While today has not been a perfect start to the day, I am going to make it better than yesterday. That is my only goal. It is windy out, but unseasonably warm. I am going to drive over to Lyle and Dorothy’s house for a cigar or two, and probably dinner. It will be good to see my friends. Yes, I was with friends yesterday, but you can never have enough time with friends.

    I only wish my girlfriend could be here too. I am counting down the days!

    As expected, my bathroom scale was up a terrible number this morning. I could not have imagined it would be otherwise; honestly, before I stepped onto it, I predicted the number. I was off by .2 of a pound. It is time to reset. Today, better… tomorrow, better than today. That is the only way to move forward.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 23

    Yesterday would have been a good day… had I not had pumpkin seeds to put on my salad. I do not think the seeds on the salad were the problem, but the fact that I devoured the rest during my evening break was. I must have added 300 calories to my daily total… not to mention that I had two pieces of chicken rather than one. While I still don’t trust the scale, it was up 1.6 lbs from yesterday morning. That is not good.

    This morning, after her daily walk, I drove Princess Sophie to Nathalie’s house. Nathalie answered my ad when I was looking for a dog walker (after I broke my ankle), and my little girl likes her. I am off to Montreal for the weekend, and it seems that she intimidated Isolina’s cat on our last visit, and thus is not welcome there. The thought of Princess Sophie intimidating anyone is pure comedy, but my choices were either to bring her to Montreal and stay somewhere else (I could not easily find anyone willing this close to the weekend), not go to Montreal, or put her up with Nathalie. Tonight will be the first night since we were reunited that she is not sleeping in my bed… at least for a few minutes. I’m not going to lie; I am a bit emotional having left her. It will only be for a few days though, and we will be back together Monday.

    Speaking of Montreal, this will be a challenging weekend for the weight loss program. I will take my shakes with me, and I will do my best to not veer from the program. It is easier to maintain a hybrid program when I am home alone; staying with friends (and visiting with others) I would be relying on their cooperation with the dietary needs, and I am not going to put anyone through that. Rather than trying to explain to them what I need, I will simply stick to the meal replacements. Esti (my father’s widow) and I might order chicken for lunch, but I will have the rotisserie chicken only – no side dishes.

    Last night I was speaking with my diet buddy, and I told her I was going to Montreal, and she started to talk very fondly about some of the foods that city has to offer. If you were unaware, it is a truly culinary gem, with some of the best restaurants in North America (including the midrange ones). The deli, the bagels… I shut her down and asked her to not remind me. I told her that upon my return, we can discuss them… before the trip it was a bad idea. I did not want to be reminded ahead of time of all the easily accessed foods that I could cheat with. It will be hard enough to stay on track as it is.

    My goal for the weekend: Stay the course. Don’t eat anything that is not planned; stick to my shakes when possible and drink a lot of water. I will also be smoking a few cigars with my friends, which will be a nice distraction. I also plan to visit my father’s gravesite. That is always an emotional time for me, but it is also a son’s obligation. It has been nearly ten months since I got that terrible phone call, and I still miss him terribly.

    Okay… time to pack up (computer, clothes, and cigars) and hit the road. Had I been better organized, I would have been ready to hit the road as soon as I dropped Princess Sophie off, but I had a choice… I decided to relax and not stress, and not delay her morning ritual of going out as soon as I’m dressed. My morning ritual has evolved into coming home from her walk, making my coffee and my shake, and writing in my journal. If accountability is going to be such a large part of my success, then I wanted to write about yesterday’s failures… before I hit the road.

    See you tomorrow!

  • STOP DOING THAT!

    I fell off the diet wagon today, and I am ashamed of myself. The only good news of it is that most of what I fell off with was not too bad, and all stuff I have in the house – which means that I did not get a bag of chips or candy or fast food. The biggest guilt of it was cheese, but I also had a couple more salads throughout the day than I usually should.

    I think the reason I fell was that I did not drink water today. I had a small bottle this morning, and that was it. I am downing the water now, and I will make a point of reminding myself in the morning how important it it.

    Fall down seven times… get back up eight. Tomorrow is another day.

  • Addictions and Gluttony

    This comic was delivered to my inbox this morning.

    Candy Polyamory – The Oatmeal

    How many times have I felt this? How often have I bought a large bag of chips or chocolates (by coincidence, I would usually go for the Peanut M&Ms that are depicted in the comic) and enjoy them… alone. I would go through an entire bag of them without batting an eyelash. I am trying to think if I had any shame about it. The truth is, if I bought the bag to take home, I would eat them alone.  If I bought them for the car, then I was usually alone in the car.

    One of the main characters in one of the greatest TV shows of all time, The West Wing, was Leo McGarry, the White House Chief of Staff, is a recovering alcoholic. He often makes mention that he doesn’t want one drink, he wants ten… and in one of the flashback scenes in which he fell off the wagon, you see him drinking alone, having emptied the minibar of all of the booze in his hotel room.

    I am not that bad, that I would eat every candy… but I do not have to think that far back when I last drove (alone) from my home in Burlington, Ontario to visit friends in Montreal (about a six hour drive). Knowing that chips and candies were cheaper at the supermarket than they were at gas stations and other stops along the way, I bought two large bags of chips, and another large bag of Peanut M&Ms. Having an open bag of chips on the passenger seat was easy, as long as I made sure to pay Princess Sophie her Snacks-Tax. I cannot say for sure that the first bag of chips was finished by the time I crossed the Greater Toronto Area (maybe a 90 minute drive), but I do know that more than one full bag of chips and the entire bag of chocolates were gone by the time I got to Montreal. I made sure to hide the evidence – the discarded wrappers would be in the garbage bag, that was then disposed of at my earliest opportunity. If someone did get into the car (or just stuck their head in for whatever reason) I did not want them seeing that I polished off however much I had eaten.

    I have to constantly remind myself that food is an addiction. The problem is that it is also a necessity of life. You cannot live without eating, but eating too much can eventually kill you. What a quandary. Making the right choices for the rest of my life will have to be an absolute constant. Does that mean I won’t be able to have a bag of chips? No… but knowing my addiction and predilection for gluttony, I will buy the SMALL bag of chips, not the large one. I will buy the SMALL portion of chocolate, not the bag labeled ‘Family Size’ or ‘Sharing Pack’. I will buy the single bag.

    I have often found myself in the chips aisle thinking to myself: “I cannot decide if I would rather the Regular Ruffles, or the Miss Vickie Salt & Vinegar… I guess I’ll just buy both.” I cannot do that! I have to pick one… and while it is always going to be much more costly, I will buy those smaller portions at retailers where they have the smaller size, rather than buying from the supermarket, where the larger sizes are encouraged (and the individual sizes are nowhere to be found).

    Family Size, Party Size, Sharing Size… all crap. These are euphemisms for Gluttony Size, and I’m not having it… anymore.

  • Day 18

    The nearly one-pound that I was heavier on the bathroom scale this morning can easily be attributed to the unevenness of the floor, or that I did not weigh myself at the same time this morning, or simply to the fact that weigh-ins are not meant to be every day, and there are occasional blips on an otherwise downward trend. Or, maybe it is because I ate more than I should have. The chicken quarters were much smaller than usual, so I prepared two of them. The salad was larger than the day before. Nonetheless, I cannot imagine that even if I ate 1,500 calories instead of the 1,000 that I had estimated a couple of days ago that I should have gained any weight from it. No, I think it is just a blip on the chart, and tomorrow will be back on track.

    My son (the younger) wanted pizza and wings for dinner, and that is what he got… munching happily on them as I sat and observed. We then watched a movie, and the popcorn he was enjoying smelled just lovely. I took a handful of almonds to cover my hunger. Later in the evening I had a shake, knowing that I am down to three apple cinnamon bars, and that even when they do arrive at Leslie’s, they will take as much as a week to ten days to arrive. I have to ration them!

    While I still have a couple of boxes of both of the soups, I opened the last box of American chocolate shake meal replacements yesterday. That is not a big deal – I have several boxes of the Canadian shakes for when they are done. In a few days’ time I will be making the switch from the American shakes (160 calories) to the Canadian shakes (225 calories), which means I will have to make some adjustments to my routine. Something like:

    9:00am: Morning shake (225)

    1:00pm Lunch soup (160)

    5:00pm Evening meal (450)

    9:30pm Evening snack (160)

    That will bring me to 995 calories per day, certainly a reasonable diet/hybrid program plan. I will try it for a few days, and if I have to make any adjustments then I will.

    The forecast for the week is lovely, for those of us looking to sit outside in a heated balcony smoking cigars. Starting today, the high temperatures will be between -1°C and 3°C every day through Sunday (when it drops again) which means that as long as I am bundled up and have the heater going, I will be able to smoke all week. Remember, cigar smoking may not be an addiction, but it is certainly a distraction that has, on many occasions, prevented me from snacking. Of course, if I were not trying to maintain ketosis, I would be inclined to enjoy a scotch or some other fine spirit as I indulged… but for me that is not a requirement (or even a strong temptation) and pairing a cigar with a good cup of coffee is just as appetizing to me. I’ve a very good selection of both Cubans and non-Cubans to keep me satisfied for the week (I could smoke a cigar every day for the next year and still have plenty left over), but today a friend is coming over, and we told me that he wants to bring me a cigar. The gracious host never says no to a gifted cigar! The coffee will be brewed, and should he desire a dram then he is welcome to one. I will stick to my coffee.

    As a mental note, I should remember to have my meal replacement before he arrives. While I am not hiding it, I do not particularly want to discuss my diet plans with anyone. He is set to arrive between 1:30-2:00pm, which is perfect. Have a great day!