Losing a part of me

Yesterday did not go as planned, but I suppose it went about as well as I expected it to. In the end, my plane from Dallas landed just in time to watch my flight to Toronto take off, and I was rebooked onto the first flight out this morning, which meant a night in a hotel. Despite the mechanical issues with the aircraft (that had to be changed), the airline insisted the delay was weather-related, so I was on the hook for my own hotel. I will fight that, but as of now, the delays cost me USD$275 out of pocket.

I had a decision to make. I one protein bar left which I could have eaten at hotel last night, but I thought I would be smarter sitting down for dinner and then eating it in the morning. The restaurant at the hotel was quite nice, and I ordered a Cobb Salad… no bacon, no blue cheese (dressing or crumbles), with a balsamic vinaigrette. Of course, the hotel restaurant did not have the nutritional values available, but my app showed me a list of them ranging from 250 to 688 calories, and I assume that. While it is high in fat, the carbs are reasonable, and the protein is great. For obvious reasons I did not have the opportunity to weigh myself this morning, but I am confident that I did not veer too badly from my modified plan.

I did not sleep well at all. I got into bed at a reasonable hour, and rather than watching television I opened my e-book reader and read my cheap detective novel until my eyes were tired. I tried to sleep but sleep just would not come. Not only had I requested a wake-up call, but I also set both phone alarms, so I knew that I was not going to oversleep and miss my flight. I do not think it was stress, although there is some of that. At 1:30am I was finally out, and when I woke up, I was sure that it would be a few minutes before my wake-up call. I lay in bed waiting for the shrill of my alarms or the phone. After a few minutes I looked to see if I had any flight notifications on the phone, only to discover it was 2:35am. I took the opportunity to void my bladder once more, and then tossed and turned for another 30-40 minutes. When my alarm actually did go off, I am happy to say that I was able to get out of bed on the first ring, no snooze button required.

I am sitting in the food court of LaGuardia’s Terminal B. My flight is still 85 minutes from departure, which means that I have plenty of time to sit down and write my thoughts. Yesterday’s (modified) Cobb Salad and the bag of almonds I ate on the airplane were not really on the program, but neither should cause any damage to my weight loss program. Two days of airplanes might, but that should not be too bad. I will weigh myself when I get home this afternoon. I know that is not a great idea because I will have been on the road, and the time shift from my usual morning weigh-ins will not be a true comparison to yesterday, but whatever it will be I will accept, and know that tomorrow’s will be better. I will not get upset with the numbers on the bathroom scale today because of that, and the travel factor.

I want to say that as stressful as this travel ordeal might have been, it is good to know that I am in the home stretch, and I should be arriving at my own apartment within the next five hours. It is even better to know that with all of the crap I have not fallen off the program. It is trials like this that make for perfect and understandable reasons to fall off the wagon. I read about that all the time from members of my Facebook groups… stress causes us to fail. Well folks, I have been stressed, and I have not failed! If the worst that I can say is that I polished off a small bag of almonds and a Cobb Salad, then I am claiming victory. Despite everything going on – with travel and other stuff – I chose continuing to lose weight over the familiar comforts of bad food choices. If that is not huge then I do not know what is!

Let me catalog a couple of non-scale victories while I am at it. Not only do I do not need a seatbelt extension on the airplane, but I also no longer feel like my fat is encroaching on my seatmates. I sat in the window seat of a three-seat section on yesterday’s plane and did not feel bad. I always choose the aisle seat for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I want to be able to stand up without disturbing anyone. I would be lying if I said that being squished against the bulkhead and still encroaching on my neighbour is a huge part of that – there is simply no way to escape it. Yesterday I did not feel that guilt at all. Yes, I took the armrest – I will be a big guy even perfectly slim, and the man in the middle section was… petite. That was not a weight issue. Additionally, the shower in the hotel room was very nice, but very streamlined. It was two tile-widths from side to side, and the tiles were probably 10” wide. I did not feel cramped, and I was happy that I was not up against either side as I took a comfortable wake-up shower this morning.

I should mention that there is something wrong with the way the airlines handle luggage when you miss your connecting flight (and it is their fault). I do not think there is an easy solution to this, but I still need to mention it. While it saves all sorts of hassles that they did not have me collect my suitcase and then recheck it this morning, it would have been considerate to give me that option. One of the first things I like to do at the end of a long travel day is to take off my travel-soiled clothes and put on something fresh. I hate that I am sitting in the airport in yesterday’s clothes… all of them, head to toe. I can assure you that as soon as I get home, I will be stripping them off and getting into the shower. Additionally, my medications are in my luggage… and the cheap plastic razor the hotel graciously gave me would not come close to the shave of my kit that also spent the night at LaGuardia. I looked at it for two minutes before deciding to fly unshaven, and to give myself a real clean-up when I get home. I am teaching this evening, so I will be putting on my jacket and tie anyways. I might as well get properly clean ahead of that.

Oh, and I had to cancel a meeting because of the travel. I have a very important meeting with a company that I am hoping to do business with, and with the flight mess-ups, my only option to take it today would have been to get off the airplane and find a quiet corner in the terminal… before even clearing Customs or getting my luggage. Fortunately, the gentleman I am meeting with was able to fit me in for next week.

My plans for today are to get on track the minute I get home. I have my protein bar for now, and when I arrive home, I will immediately shift back to the meal replacement shakes and the full-fast of my program. It will be the first time I will have resumed the program mid-day, rather than waiting for the next day to start over. I do not want to worry about what food options I have in the house… or preparing them. It will not be easy, and I am glad that I am allowing myself coffee on the full-fast. I am teaching until 10:00pm this evening, and I know the first day of full-fast I might get grumpy. Coffee will mitigate that somewhat.

Have a great day folks!