Losing a part of me

Author: Mitch Garvis

  • Day 228

    I was not surprised that my weight was up a pound this morning. Eduardo and I were meant to eat lunch at a bistro that serves lovely salads, but they were closed for the long weekend, and we ended up at a Thai restaurant that we have always enjoyed. I enjoyed the lunch special of red curry beef, which came with a bowl of soup and a vegetarian spring roll. It also came with a large portion of rice, which I should have eaten less of.

    After lunch, we went to a new family-owned café across the street, where we had a cup of coffee, and I had a muffin. As good as it was, and I will tell you that this chocolate muffin was truly fabulous, it was a cheat that I should have done without.

    I did prepare a chicken and salad meal for myself when I got home, which was another mistake. Following the lunch out, I should have finished out the day with meal replacements. At least I did not do both – I had a cup of Japanese milk tea with my cigar (which I enjoyed with my son the elder), but nothing else. As I prepared for bed, I thought about having a meal replacement shake, but decided that I did not need it, and in fact I did not feel hungry until the morning.

    There is a huge psychological benefit to not being on-the-cusp. A week ago, my weight had popped below the 320 lbs mark the previous day, so when it jumped a couple of pounds the next day, I was right back up above that boundary. The ten-pound interval marks are milestones for me and knowing how hard it was to break through that mark was great… only to surrender it the next morning. Wednesday morning, I dropped below it, and have stayed below it every day since. Yes, this morning I gained a pound back… but I went from 317lbs to 318lbs, and not from 319.6lbs to 320.6lbs. If anyone asks, I am still below that mark. I did not feel like an utter failure, if only because my weight did not jump above a mark that probably only exists in my head.

    Speaking of things that drop: The high temperature in Burlington yesterday was 31° Celsius (88° Fahrenheit). Today’s predicted high is 23°C (73°F), a significant drop… meaning that when I got dressed to take Her Floofness out for her walk this morning, I knew that long pants were a good idea. I almost dug a pair of Dockers out when I realized… Yes! I pulled out a pair of Levi’s 501 jeans. Not only do they fit, they might even be a bit loose. I do know that the belt that I have been wearing – the one that I tried to replace with a smaller size only a week ago, only to find out that it did not fit yet – is on the last hole in these jeans. I will probably have to get a couple more holes punched into it this week. Woohoo! I have to take a picture of myself to send to my wife before I go out today!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 227

    My streak is broken. Yesterday was the first day since January 20th that I did not post an article on my weight loss blog. I began to write the piece, I got distracted by shiny things, and I did not go back to it. I assure you that it was not because I was failing with my weight loss. Princess Sophie probably dragged me out for whatever, and I never came back to post what I had written. That will actually take a lot of the pressure off… yes, there is a lot of pressure involved when you are on a 225-day streak, and when WordPress congratulates me daily for it! My new streak begins today.

    My bathroom scale continues to be kind to me. This morning, I am 2.6-pounds down from what I weighed Wednesday morning. This despite big cheats on Wednesday and Thursday (with the Salt and Vinegar Goldfish) and yesterday, when I had a handful of peanuts, as well as two meals (the first was my normal lunch, the second was a lovely smoked Coho salmon with tabouli at Lyle and Dorothy’s house, where I spent the afternoon and evening. I am at my lowest weight, and it feels good. I only wish I was with my wife so that we could enjoy it together.

    I have been walking on a tricky ankle for the last few days, which is something I did when I stepped on something at the airport the other day. I know it is not a big deal, but I do want to give my ankle another day to recover. I am hoping that the weather tomorrow morning holds up – there is a 10% chance of rain predicted for the morning, with the chances increasing throughout the day. I would like to go out for a walk, and if it not raining too badly then I can do that. I do not want to get sick, but I also do not want to stagnate with my exercise routine. Fortunately, I know that the Taekwondo club will be open Tuesday (the day after Labour Day), and I will be able to resume my martial arts training… even if the weather outside is not conducive to walking.

    My plans for today are to go to see my friend Eduardo. He wants me to fix his computer, and we will smoke a cigar together as well. The way my allergies are currently kicking my butt, I am wondering if I will be able to enjoy a cigar on his balcony, what with all of his wife’s plants and flowers. We will try though. He also wants to take me out for lunch (assuming I do fix his computer!) and I will have to be careful. I will nix any restaurant suggestions where I cannot stick to my weight loss program. I am really happy with my weight loss progress these last few days, and I do not want to tumble back, just for the sake of a free meal.

    It is a lovely day outside, so if later this afternoon my ankle is not doing too bad, I might try for a walk. We’ll see… I do not want to make that transition from hurt to injured.

    Everyone is asking me what my plans are for the long weekend, and I keep telling them that I do not really have any. I will mostly stay close to home, and possibly see my kids for a couple of hours… assuming they want to see me.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 226

    Hello!

  • Day 225

    I did not get nearly as good night’s sleep last night as I had been getting sleeping next to my wife. I do not think it is that the air in Dallas is somehow cleaner, I just suspect that I am more at ease sleeping with her. I suppose for the next three weeks I will have to put up with it. I did not really have trouble falling asleep, but I was up a couple of times in the night. That, before Princess Sophie decided at 6:45am that it was time for us to get out of bed.

    She did allow me to complete my bathroom rituals in peace, although I was… unproductive. Yes, it is an unpleasant topic, but when discussing weight management, bowel movements are occasionally something we have to mention. I will not write off the poopless morning to travel, nor to food – I ate yesterday. I just could not. Maybe later today, and if not, then there is always tomorrow.

    Speaking of travel and food, let’s review what I ate yesterday. The morning started with a meal replacement shake. At the airport, knowing that they would not be selling food on my flight, I bought a (small) can of Pringles, which I did end up supplementing with two bags of airplane pretzels. When I arrived home (later than anticipated, due to delays on the airplane, followed by my son forgetting to collect me, so I needed to wait for a taxi), I almost immediately went to the supermarket, where I picked up my salad fixings, chicken to prepare for dinner, and milk for my coffee. I also found (to my delight) that they had Salt and Vinegar Goldfish crackers, which have been missing from the store shelves (with no explanation) for eight or nine months. I like them, Leslie loves them. I bought five bags of them.

    I prepared my chicken and salad for dinner (while I will be back to my regular timing today, yesterday’s meal was the same old), and then decided to splurge. I opened one of the bags of Goldfish and ate a couple of handfuls. I will, over the next week or so, likely finish that pack… I will not be opening any of the others, which are all going to Texas with me for my beloved. I sat outside with a cigar, and as I prepared for bed, I had one last meal replacement shake to curb my hunger.

    With the cheating I did yesterday, I was expecting that my weight would be at least slightly up this morning. Not so, I was actually down 2/10ths of a pound. I do not know if I was truly excited, but I was certainly relieved that after traveling and with my cheating that I did not gain weight.

    Today is the first day of September, and while autumn does not start until the 21st, I have always seen the 1st of September as a boundary. We have crossed over from the completely summer month of August into the soon-to-be-fall month of September. As a kid, school would start around now. The weather traditionally starts to turn now… or at least, that is what it always felt like. I checked the weather before dressing to take Her Floofness for her walk, and was surprised to see that it was sunny and 55° Fahrenheit (12.5° Celsius), meaning I not only had to wear long pants (which I was wearing during the day when I was teaching, but I have not worn otherwise in weeks), I would also have to wear some sort of upper ware to reinforce my golf shirt.

    I thought about a hoodie, but opted to go into my front closet instead, where without thinking I pulled my Taekwondo vest, pulling it on and zipping it up. As we hit the trail, it occurred to me that the last time I tried the vest on (Day 96) was when Leslie resewed the patch on for me, and it did not come close to fitting me. There was easily over an inch between the zipper sides. While it is a little tight, it zips up without any issues. This is a huge non-scale victory for me!

    Speaking of that, I renewed my membership to Taekwondo Ontario today for another year. I also reached out to Taekwondo Canada to find out where I can purchase gear, including new patches. I do not think I want to replace my current patch, only because it has the old name of the organization on it (World Taekwondo Federation has been renamed World Taekwondo – WTF has become WT), and I like having WTF on my uniforms and vest.

    I was thinking about sizes as Her Floofness and I walked. I remember more than twenty years ago I starred in an amateur play, and the man in charge of wardrobes made a comment to the effect that ‘fat men do not wear their pants right – you wear it all the way under your belly, when normal people wear them around their navel.’ Judgmental much? Anyhow, the thought was that because I do indeed wear my pants under my belly, which means that I am wearing a Size 40, despite having a waist that is about 56” around the belly. I am thrilled, by the way, to see that I have lost about 7” in the belly… but because I do not wear my pants there, I do not actually know (until I pull out the tape measure) how much I have lost there. It is only when I try on clothes that did not previously fit me that I can really see the difference… and when I do, I am very happy with it.

    It is turning into a beautiful day. My friend Eduardo is coming over in the afternoon, both for me to look at his computer, and to have a cigar. It will be good to see him again, especially since I know he has been going through a lot and needs a friend. Also, while I would rather not be working on his computer, I would rather do it here than at his house… my allergies have been kicking my butt today, and I do not want to add his cat’s dander to the pollen.

    Have a great day folks! I am going to try to take a nap.

  • Day 224

    I hate leaving Dallas, only because it usually means I am leaving my Leslie. Fortunately, this time it is only for three weeks. I will be back in twenty-two days, which makes me happy.

    Last night, we decided to get dressed up and go out for a nice meal. We went to her favourite sushi restaurant, and with regard to my weight management program, we definitely splurged. It was our last night together, and it was our opportunity to dress up. She looked positively ravishing in a cute and flirty purple dress; when she does her makeup – I mean, when she goes all out – she is completely irresistible. We overate for sure, including a splurge with desserts. As we drove home I told her that even if I gained five pounds from the meal, it was worth it.

    As it happens, I did not gain weight. In fact, my weight this morning was back down to match the lowest weight I was at on the third day of my visit. Before I flew out here, I wrote that a victory would be to come back to Canada no heavier than when I left. Barring huge and unexpected somethings, I should weigh less tomorrow morning than I did a week ago today, the last time I weighed myself in Canada.

    I did not eat as well as I could have during this trip, but I also did not eat nearly as badly as I could have. I did not make any fancy (and fattening) breakfasts, and when I was not eating my (usually one) daily meal, I was primarily sticking with my meal replacements. I had only one alcoholic beverage during the week, although I did smoke a good number of cigars. While the anti-tobacco lobby may frown on that, there are no implications on my weight… at least, not negative ones. I have said since the beginning that as long as I am not snacking with them, cigars are a great way for me to not eat, often when I really want to eat.

    I should also mention that during this visit I also went on two great fitness walks, which likely contributed to my weight loss. I was surprised that I was able to push myself so hard in the heat, but I did… and it paid off!

    As I was checking in for my flight last night, I was told that it was overbooked, and I voluntarily placed myself on a list of passengers willing to be bumped to a later flight in exchange for compensation. This is the first time I can think of, with many hundreds of flights behind me, that I want to be bumped. That would not only mean that I might get to spend an extra day or two with my wife, it would also cover the cost of my next trip down here. Here’s hoping.

    Barring that, I am now five hours from being at home with my doggie. I love her and miss her, but yes Sophie, I would rather be with my wife. Please forgive me.

    Have a great afternoon folks!

  • Day 223

    It was glorious to wake up this morning because of a lawn mower at 8:30am, and not because of an alarm ringing at 6:30am. Leslie was already up and about because she has to work today, but I do not… and it felt delightful.

    The bathroom scale has me down over half a pound from yesterday, which is good progress. Yesterday during the day I was good (although I did eat the leftover Chinese food for lunch, it was not a huge portion), although in the evening I did have a glass of whisky. Not just any glass of whisky… a really good glass, in a crystal tumbler that Leslie bought for me in June. We enjoyed a drink and a cigar on the balcony together, and it was a delightful evening.

    This, after a failed supper attempt by me. I had not pre-planned dinner, and although there were chicken breasts that needed to be cooked (they were a day beyond their ‘cook before’ date), I did not know what I was going to do with them. Deciding to experiment, I went the Tempura route. Leslie and I had gone to the Asian market on Sunday, and we bought Tempura breading, as well as the dipping sauce. How bad could this go, right? Pop them into the air fryer and twenty-five minutes later…

    First of all, let me advise you one and all that tempura batter likely works better on smaller pieces cut up than it does on whole pieces of… well, anything I would imagine. Also, based on the consistency of what is supposed to be a light and fluffy batter, it is probably one of those things that would really work much better in an actual fryer than in an air fryer. The hard shell of the chicken was neither light nor fluffy, although the few bites of it that I had tasted fine. I should also mention that twenty-five minutes in the air fryer would be fine for a normal sized piece of chicken, but these came out not quite done, and needed to go into the microwave for a few extra minutes.

    Bulldog sauce saved the day, and the dinner was not a total loss. Leslie and I now have one more funny incident to laugh about.

    Today is supposed to be my last full day here. I am supposed to fly back to Canada tomorrow, although we are seriously discussing pushing my flight by a day or two. We will see… it is always better being with my wife, and spending a day or two with her son would be very nice as well. That decision will be made in the next couple of hours… we will see.

    The next few days in Dallas will be cloudy with some rain, but that is definitely not a factor in my decision. If I do stay, I am really excited to make French toast for Leslie’s son, and to spending more time getting to know him. It will be nice. On the flipside, I have my neighbour looking after Princess Sophie, and knowing that in three weeks I am asking her to do so again for three more weeks, is another factor. We will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 222

    I did not lose any weight from yesterday, but I also did not gain any. Considering some of what I ate, I will be happy with that.

    Yes, I took an amazing walk in the morning, and got a lot of exercise. I burned calories as I pushed myself in the heat.

    We ate a delicious dim sum meal for lunch, which is truly a treat. I did something that I cannot remember ever doing with dim sum… I left some over. Leslie did not order too much, and when I saw it all when it arrived my first thought was ‘That’s it?’ but of course my eyes are still the same gluttonous eyes that helped me achieve the ridiculously obese form that I carried around so long. Could I have finished it all? Absolutely. Was I sated? Yes, I was. We put the rest away for today.

    Leslie has a great tactic she uses. When she believes I have stopped eating for nourishment, and am now eating out of habit, or because the food is there, she will ask me ‘Why are you eating that?’ If my answer is ‘Because I am still hungry,’ she lets it go. Otherwise, she asks ‘Do you need that dumpling, or onion, or whatever else?’ She reminds me that I am trying to break my unhealthy relationship with food. Yesterday she did not need to do that… with dim sum, one of my favourite meals, I suspect we were both pleasantly surprised.

    For dinner, we had a frozen meal of breaded cauliflower that was a Buffalo wings replacement. They were very tasty, but I suspect the breading is the reason my weight was not down this morning. However, it is a great starting point. I can take the idea of cauliflower wings and replicate it, either with no breading, else with much less breading, and add my signature (hic) sauce to them. That, good reader, will be a healthy and appetizing meal sometime in the future!

    Lunch today was the leftover Chinese foods… what little there was left from Saturday evening and from Sunday’s dim sum. It was tasty, but likely not very healthy. At least by enjoying them at lunch, I will be able to burn off the calories (and especially the carbohydrates and starches) by the time bedtime rolls around.

    After more than five weeks, my teaching contract will come to an end today. I had a really great time with these students, and this morning I received high praise from the school for which I am teaching, as well as from several of my students who are sorry to see me go. Alas, tomorrow they start learning subject matters that are outside of my expertise, and while I could fake it… I hate doing that. I wrote them all a very nice thank you note on our shared Slack channel… and tomorrow I start looking for my next contract. In the meantime, I will take the opportunity to enjoy my downtime, and will relax a little. One of the first things I did this morning was to disable my wake-up alarm!

    Last night I sat on the balcony reading. I am absolutely loving my new e-book reader that Leslie bought for me. I have always been able to read my e-books on my tablet, but when the sun is shining, the glare is insurmountable. The e-book reader solves that issue, and is a wonderful and thoughtful gift which will get a lot more use than just on airplanes!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Beat the Heat

    It was closer to 95° Fahrenheit than 85° by the time I hit my stride this morning, and let me tell you, it was hot! I decided to try to beat the heat though, and I pushed myself… hard. The one concession I made to it was trying to stay on the shady side of whatever street I was walking on, which makes a big difference when it is this hot and this sunny.

    I have not worn these shoes in nearly two months, and they felt really good. My feet were on fire, and not only because the pavement was so hot. When all was said and done, I recorded three split-paced kilometres under the 10-minute mark, which allowed me to finish with a combined average pace of 9m58s. While that is not nearly a personal best, it is 56 seconds better than my previous best walk in the Texas heat (from June). Yes Ma’am, I am extremely pleased by that.

    • Distance: 7 km (9.5km)
    • Duration: 1:09:46 (1:37:15)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 9:58 (10:14)
    • Best Split-Pace Kilometre: (x2) 9m40s (9m43s)
    • Steps: 8.5k (12.1k)
    • Calories burned: 832 (1,187)
    • Elevation gain: 31 (32.6)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 122 (122)

    I am really happy that I did the 7-kilometres in under 1:10:00. A couple of walks ago, I was extremely upset that I was over 1:15:00 on that pace, and being below it is important to me. I do not know why, but it is a milestone I try to stay under.

    I stopped at 7km. Could I have gone further? Yes, I could have… but it was extremely hot outside, and I was running out of water. I also felt that had I gone on, there were only a couple of routes I could have taken without doubling back, neither of which would have provided much shade.

    Leslie and I splurged for lunch, enjoying a lovely dim sum meal. I do not think that I overate, but I will not make a habit of having dim sum often. It is a lovely treat though. Later in the afternoon, we will probably go to the Asian market. For now, I am going to sit and relax for a bit, allowing lunch to digest.

  • Day 221

    Following our walk, Leslie and I had a great day. We went to a mall to pick up a couple of things (and to walk around… but at a much more leisurely pace. The original plan had been to go there, then to the Asian stores, and then for dinner. What we ended up doing was going from the mall to Cigars International Superstore (where we had a fabulous time sitting out, drinking, smoking, and watching people), and then at around 8:00pm we decided to go get food.

    We had miscalculated how busy the restaurants were going to be. In the end, our only viable option was P.F. Changs, which is tasty but not great for weight management. We ordered well, we ate smartly, but the restaurant must order MSG by the truckload, because I was feeling it all night. My weight this morning is up, but it is a temporary up; just like the other day with the rotisserie chicken, I know I am retaining water because of the sodium. In a day or two, that will fix itself.

    Leslie made a very valid point yesterday that I need to learn to be able to have a very small piece of something that I like without feeling that I have to gorge myself on it. The example she gave was a piece of a chocolate bar that she was eating. I am afraid that if I have one piece, I will then want two pieces… and it will not take very long before I will be devouring entire chocolate bars. If I am going to break my unhealthy relationship with food (a phrase and a concept that I have repeated over and over along this journey) then I need to be able to have one piece… and be satisfied by that. If I am not satisfied by it, then I need to restrain myself. I need to know that I can have the one… but I cannot have the second piece.

    I should mention that I also had a glass of scotch at the lounge… I mention it because I do not want to leave out any transgressions. I should not have had it, but I did… and I enjoyed it tremendously. Fortunately, I do not have the same addiction to alcohol that I do to food; I was satisfied with the one drink, and was not tempted to order another.

    The forecast for the day is another hot one, with no shelter from the sun. I am going to go out for my walk shortly. Yesterday I wore my new Adidas shoes which were great! Today I will wear my Asics shoes, only because I feel it a good practice to not wear the same pair day after day. I have a quick stop to make along the way to pick something up, but because of the heat I will not be going for records anyways. The temperatures are going to be very hot today; it is already 30° Celsius (85° Fahrenheit), on its way up to 36°/97°. I am going to make sure I drink a lot of water along the way, and pace myself.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Better Together

    This morning, for the first time ever, I set out on a fitness walk with another person. Leslie and I started out from home, and did a strong 6.5 km walk in the heat. I was expecting to have to slow my pace for her, but that was absolutely not the case. Leslie is in better shape than I thought, and while we did not try to beat any records (I was wearing a new pair of shoes, on top of a slightly painful foot), we had a great time of it. I know that when she participates in her company’s 5km walk next month she will absolutely knock ‘em all dead!

    We are going to split the leftover Lebanese food for lunch, and then for dinner we will find something in The Colony, around the Cigars International Superstore (where we will end up for a cigar and a beverage at the end of the evening). It is so wonderful to have a partner with whom I share so many interests!

    When we came in from the walk, as we were cooling down, hydrating, and regulating our body temperatures before showering, we had a great conversation, during which Leslie told me something that I can never know for myself, but which is a huge non-scale victory. She told me that I am not snoring anymore. I know that I am sleeping slightly better and definitely more comfortably than when I was at my heaviest, but the snoring is something that I have always been aware of, either because of partners, or when I shared a hotel with a friend or co-worker. When I am heavier, I snore; when I am lighter I do not. While I do not know exactly where the line of demarcation is; I know that the last time Leslie and I spent the night together I was twenty pounds heavier, and I assume I was still snoring then. So I have a pretty good idea where the line is.

    Time for lunch. Have a great day!