Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Beating Mother Nature

    I barely beat the rain that was not predicted to come just a few hours earlier. Our story:

    I finished teaching my class around the usual time. As has been the case for the last few days, I made my meal replacement shake, and then called Leslie to chat for a bit while I changed into my exercise kit. I sat down at the computer to continue chatting with her, mostly so that I could make sure that none of my stragglers – by which I mean the students who were assiduously and faithfully staying late to complete the last lab of the day – had any questions. Sure enough, the clock struck, and I was able to end the session completely.

    While that has not always been the case, this time the only reason I was looking at my computer screen while talking with my wife is because I wanted to close the class, which she understood. While looking at the screen, I noticed in the bottom right corner an advisory that rain was coming. My recollection from when I checked this forecast this morning was that there was no precipitation expected today. As we like to say, if you don’t like the weather in Canada… wait a minute.

    I clicked on the advisory and saw that the rain was predicted for just after 7:00pm. Leslie understood that I was going to get going immediately, which I did. I took to the trails, setting out to do a simple and familiar walk around the block… which is actually a seven-kilometre walk that I’ve done several times. Most of the time I supplement the basic rectangle with some added detours, paths, and trails; today my goal was to get home sweating but otherwise dry.

    • Distance: 7.03 km (9 km)
    • Duration: 1:12:07 (1:37:36 minutes)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:15 (10:42)
    • Best Split-Pace Kilometre: 10m02s
    • Steps: 9k (11.6k)
    • Calories burned: 725 (500)
    • Elevation gain: 29m (36m)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 126 (118)

    There are some numbers on these stats that do not add up. I have no idea, for example, how I bested my cadence by 8 steps per minute… although looking at the graph it does seem to show that I was walking at a faster pace than usual. Most likely I was taking shorter steps and more of them, which would account for that.

    I am going to hit the showers so I can clean up and then make my evening meal replacement shake, and be ready in time for my date with an angel later this evening. I also want to make a note to call the vet for Princess Sophie, who has been having gastro issues since Saturday. Let’s see if I can get her in to see the doctor over the weekend.

  • Day 195

    Princess Sophie is getting better, but slowly. Last night she asked to go outside again at 2:30am, and so I had another night of interrupted sleep. Nevertheless, I woke up mostly refreshed, and am happy the day is underway.

    For the sixth consecutive day I was pleased by the numbers on the bathroom scale, and I am once again in new-low territory. It feels good, and I hope I can continue to drop. Over the last week or so, I have hoped to lose at least fifteen pounds between now and my trip to Dallas, now twenty-two days away. If we account for the five pounds I have lost in that time, I see it as a reachable goal. That would have me around 315-pounds, which is twenty-six pounds down from the morning I left Dallas early in July. I am thrilled that is within reach.

    Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. There are consequences for a fat man who does a lot of exercise, including on the back, knees, and feet. Last night in bed I could definitely feel both of my knees, but a good dollop of Voltaren helped that. My heel was not too bad until I got up in the night to take Her Floofness out, but it is still okay. I dressed it again this morning and will need to go to the pharmacy to pick up more bandages. I will try to do that at lunch time.

    Lunch today will be fish, which is defrosted in the fridge, and salad. I know that I only have enough vegetables for one more salad, so I will also be going to the supermarket at some point today. That means that I will be running the temptation gauntlet of the bakery and prepared foods section, but I know I can do it. I will just make a point to go after I have eaten, rather than before. In fact, I might do that at lunch… they likely have the bandages that I need at the supermarket, so I will not have to make two stops.

    It feels good to be coming out of the funk that I was in. Leslie and I discussed yesterday (and not for the first time in these few weeks) that I am a bit of a social butterfly, and when I do not speak with friends, I tend to fall even further into depression. I do not think that has been the case with my break with Facebook, but it truly was nice to sit with Lyle and Dorothy on Sunday. I have other friends who want to see me, and a couple have reached out to see how I have been doing. I hope that I am better, but I have to be vigilant, because there are hidden triggers abound, and I do not want to run into one unexpectedly and fall backwards into despair.

    I am told that of my students who wrote the test yesterday, only one of them will be required to retake it. By any measure, that is a good pass rate. I tend to worry that sometimes my folksy teaching style focuses more on what students will need to know in their careers, and less on what they need to know for the exam. Every time I get news like this it makes me happy. Today we start on a new class, and it is one that I have taught several times before. I am looking forward to it because unlike the previous class, it is not a ‘For Beginners’ class… or at least, the technologies covered are much more advanced than the Foundations class I just finished with. When I teach a course for beginners, I am always worried that my previous disdain for Level-1 IT Professionals will come through. I have certainly evolved away from that opinion, but I never want what I used to think to show through. I also know that I have much more time for this class and will be able to take a more relaxed pace than with the previous one. It should be fun!

    It is a cooler day today than it has been, owing I suspect to the rain we enjoyed last night. The forecast has up to a 9% chance of precipitation today, but that is from 10am through 4pm, and that drops to no chance of rain by the time I will be ready to walk. The temperatures will top out at 26°C, which for my American friends is a very comfortable 79° Fahrenheit. As long as my feet and knees are not bothering me, I will endeavour to kick it up a bit and beat yesterday’s distance, if not the pace.

    Today is National Ice Cream Sandwich Day, but I will not be partaking in anything so frivolous. I am doing extremely well on my weight loss program, and now is not the time to falter. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 192

    Bumps in the weight loss road are easier to accept when you did something to veer into the bump. ‘Hey, I had a cheat meal, and then I ended up losing three days of progress.’ Easy to understand. When there was no such cheat, it is harder to come to terms with.

    From Tuesday to Wednesday, I gained 2.6 pounds. I do not know what I did to deserve that, but that does not make it any less real. Since then, while sticking to the plan, I have lost .4, .8, and .6 pounds each day, and I am still nearly a full pound up from what I weighed on Tuesday. I would like to scream at the world that it is not fair, but nobody would listen. Also, it is my experience that when you scream at the world, people tend to look at you like you are a mad man.

    I am happy that I am back down below my milestone. I am just frustrated that were it not for that one giant adjustment, I would be nearly at 325 lbs, and I would not be lamenting to my wife that by our next visit, I might not be able to reach the goal I was hoping for. I am still going to try of course… but only part of the success is in trying, while most of it is in actually succeeding.

    I am meeting my boys for breakfast this morning, and I am excited to see them. Owing to a combination of travel and despair, I have not seen Gilad since the first week of the month; I have not seen Aaron since the second week of June. it will be great to see them both today. Aaron asked if we could go somewhere different for breakfast, and we agreed on Cora’s, a chain of breakfast restaurants that originated in Montreal, and is known for their fanciful breakfasts.

    I decided, rather than going there and having to figure out what I can safely eat, to go on-line and decide in advance. As I am waiting until we get there to eat (rather than having a breakfast meal-replacement shake first), I know that the menu will have all sorts of temptations that in a moment of weakness I might succumb to. It took a bit of investigating, but I have settled on a breakfast called Peggy’s Poached. Off the menu, it comes with one poached egg on toast, a small dish of cottage cheese, and half a plate of fruit, and is listed at 411 calories. I will ask for a second poached egg, bringing the total to about 485 calories. I briefly considered the Yogurt and Harvest Crunch, but I could not easily find the nutritional information online. I cannot remember the last time I had cottage cheese, and I do not remember if I like it or not. If I do, then I can add it to my occasional list of foods.

    I will be taking off some weight this afternoon, as I am getting my hair cut. I have not had it cut in nearly two months, and it is really looking shaggy… especially when combined with the beard that I am trying to grow, which nearly two weeks into growth is still looking scraggly. I suspect there will be one more week before it looks like an actual beard, and not shrapnel from explosive Brillow pads. By the time I get to Dallas to see Leslie in three weeks, it should be looking pretty good.

    As expected, I did not walk yesterday, opting to give my feet a day to heal after the disastrous walk that was Thursday. Following my haircut, I will lace up my runners and head out for a good walk. I am planning for an 8-10km walk, but I will be careful, centering the first few kilometres close to home, just in case the damage to my heels cannot take the distance. I will not be proud, and if needed I will abort the walk. I do not want to be out of commission any longer than needed… and letting my heels heal is critical to getting back on track.

    Before I close, I would like to call out a non-scale victory. This morning I grabbed a golf shirt that has not fit me in 18-months, and it fits!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 190

    While my weight was down this morning, it was only a slight drop, and nothing to counteract the huge jump from yesterday. Nonetheless, I am going to keep on track. I still weighed in above 330-pounds, which is a huge psychological bump for me. I hope that by the weekend I have gotten back below that milestone, which I had thought was behind me.

    When I finished my class last night, I realized I was exhausted. I love teaching, but it does take a lot out of me… especially when I have not been sleeping well, as has been the case. Nonetheless, and despite predictions of rain, I embarked upon a fitness walk. Because I selected footwear that would have been appropriate for the rain, I was not going to be setting any records. The fact that I got out there at all was a victory. That I walked 8km was really huge. Yes, that distance has become my base distance, and I am going to try to do that every day; that does not change the fact that three minutes before I went out, I was trying to decide between walking and going to sleep.

    In the end, it did not rain… although when I took Princess Sophie for her walk this morning it started to rain, and from what I see out the window the rain has not stopped. The forecast predicts rain all day, although that prediction is then clarified as a 20% chance of rain most of the day. Sometimes I think that meteorologists were put on this planet to make psychics look credible.

    • Distance: 8.05 km (10 km)
    • Duration: 1:27:37 (1:41:26 minutes)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:49 (10:08)
    • Best Split-Pace Kilometre: 10m35s
    • Steps: 10.3k (12.4k)
    • Calories burned: 466 (582)
    • Elevation gain: 36m (39.6m)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 118 (122)

    I had a great talk with Leslie last night. I really miss her, and know that when I am with her, I am not only happier, I sleep better. We discussed my fitness walking and weight management program. I told her that while she is not the only reason I am losing weight and getting into shape, she is certainly one of them. Among the other reasons are that I would like to look good, and that when I weigh less and am in better shape, I feel better. She reminded me that she loves me for me, and has been attracted to me all along… but she appreciates that I am dedicated to losing weight for myself and for us.

    After a great deal of frustration and aggravation, I was able to book my next trip to see her. The American Airlines website does not seem to like the fact that my credit card is American, even though I am Canadian. There is an option to change countries for the credit card, and when you select it, you are kicked back to the main menu. When you call, they offer to call you back… sometime between two and six hours from now, which when it is already 10pm does not bode well. Leslie was able to log on and do it from her end, and so the day after my classes are done, I am flying off to see her. Yay!

    Today is another fish day. The last ten days I have been buying fresh chicken and fish from the supermarket, forgetting that I had a large bag of Norwegian salmon from Costco. I enjoyed it yesterday, and will do the same for today. Yesterday I had to make myself a second salad with lunch, possibly because the salmon is fewer calories than the chicken. I’m not sure, but I think it was better to have more salad than a cookie.

    I start teaching in fifteen minutes, and I am having trouble keeping my eyes open. Yes, I am that tired. I have not been sleeping well, but I still feel better working and exercising than I would sitting around lazily. I will go through my pot of coffee this morning, and I will make it through the day. I will go for a fitness walk this evening, even if it is raining. On that note, I found a great use for a hat that was gifted to me a couple of weeks ago! Leslie and I (as well as a number of other people I asked) are on the fence about the fashion of the hat… but it will certainly keep my head dry in the rain, and it folds into my walking satchel quite nicely!

    My trip to Dallas is booked for August 24. My goal is to lose at least fifteen pounds by then. That will require a strict regimen of no cheating on the diet, and sticking to my exercise plan. If I do that, then I should be able to get there… let’s see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 188

    I am still reeling from the monster walk I took last night. I am also reeling from some conversations I have been having, and am starting to believe that things will be okay. As I have alluded to over the past ten days or so, my emotions have been in turmoil, and have felt pretty hopeless. The fact that I have not only stuck to my meal plan, but have also started and maintained a rigorous exercise routine with my fitness walking, is a testament to the fact that I do not have to turn to food when life turns to shit. That has always been my default, but it does not make it healthy. Over the past two weeks, following my old patterns, I have every reason to be up 5-10 pounds. Instead, I am down eleven pounds. To put that into perspective, that is the difference between weighing nearly 350-pounds and weighing under 330-pounds. I have to call that my greatest attitude and behavioural victory since… I don’t even know when!

    I did cheat yesterday. After my lunch of chicken and salad, I decided to have a Japanese biscuit. The fact that each time that I eat one I am proud of myself that I can stick to just one. I am also proud that I have had them since my birthday, and I have not devoured the entire box. This is another great success… the old me – the gluttonous me – would have knocked down at least a couple (if not more) every single day until they were gone.

    Who am I kidding? There is not old me / new me. Not yet, anyways. I am the same me, with the gluttonous tendencies toward large portions of extremely unhealthy foods that I have always been. The fact that I have been suppressing that side of me does not mean that I have changed; it means that I want to change, but I am still who I have always been. It is too easy to give myself credit for change… like congratulating myself on my Nobel Prize when I dress up as a brilliant scientist. I have to remember every day that I am still the same man with the same desires, and that I will likely never change. I can change my habits, but I cannot ever let down my guard. It is the vigilance that I have forced upon myself that is responsible for my weight loss… and certainly not my actual nature.

    On a few of Leslie’s early visits to see me last year, the last night before she flew home, we went to QB’s Sports Bar for dinner. I remember the foods that we ordered, which even in moderation would have been terribly unhealthy. I can hardly believe that I could sit there with a gorgeous and sexy woman, order a large pizza and a plate of wings, and devour them with no shame. Just the thought of doing that embarrasses me, and I have to remember that not only the next time, but every time I sit down to eat… whether I am eating with Leslie or alone.

    Today is a new day, and I am psyched to keep going. After yesterday’s slight bump up, my weight was once again down today, so I am happy with that. If I keep it up, I might actually fit into my smaller suits by mid-September, which would be amazing. Because of my class schedule for the next few weeks, it will be a month between weigh-ins at the doctor’s office. If I keep my pace of progress up, it is not unreasonable to expect I could be down ten kilos in that month. It is an unbelievable number to hope for, but it is my goal. My appointment is for August 24, which is just under 30 days from today. If I can weigh in under 141 kilos, I will be absolutely over the moon thrilled! Even if I miss that goal, but weigh seven kilos less than I do now, it will be a tremendous success.

    I noticed after eating my main meal today that I was, once again, still peckish. I looked (unsuccessfully) for a healthy snack, and quickly realized that there is no such thing as a truly healthy snack that resides in the pantry. I ended up having a single Japanese biscuit, which is not healthy, but as long as I only eat the one, I will not lose a lot of traction on my weight loss program.

    I think yesterday’s schedule worked really well, and I am going to try to repeat it today. After class, I will take Princess Sophie for a walk. I will then come back home and change into my workout kit. Before I go out though, I will have my second meal replacement shake. I will go for a good fitness walk (which I suspect it will be somewhat less intense than yesterday’s record-shattering outing. When I come back in, I will shower, write up my activity, and then I will have my final meal replacement of the evening. I will get into bed and hopefully speak with my beautiful wife, who might or might not be able to, owing to the child situation. I really do love ending my day by sharing a few moments on video chat with her. It makes my heart soar, and even if I do not fall asleep right away (as has been the case these last few nights), it puts my mind at ease so I can rest.

    I will be back after my walk, but until then… have a great day!

  • Day 187

    Yesterday was more successful than I had planned… and my weight was still up this morning. I was up more than half a pound from yesterday… but as I have said, it is the trend and not the individual points on the graph that are important.

    I suspect that one of the reasons that my weight was up because this morning I did not have a successful bowel movement today. I know, that is not a pleasant topic of conversation, but it is an important one when discussing weight loss. I hope tomorrow will be more successful.

    How can I be more successful than planned? I had my morning meal replacement, I had my mid-day meal (around 2pm really), and after my nap and fitness walk (which was done by about 8:15pm) I had another meal replacement. I could have had a third one, but I decided not to. One fewer meal replacement makes my weight management program more successful, right? Wrong. The nutrition in that shake, both proteins and others, are important for my weight loss. It would have been a bad idea for me to have two meal replacements between the end of my walk and bedtime. What I should have done was have my second one before the walk. Lesson learned.

    Today has gone well so far… I had my breakfast shake, I had lunch at 1:00pm, and when my class is over (around 5:30pm) I will have my second meal replacement, before taking Princess Sophie for her walk. I expect that once she comes back in, I will be able to go for my fitness walk. It might not be the same 7-9 kilometres I did every day last week, but I will try for at least 6-7km. I am not going to map it out, but I will do what I can without hurting myself.

    I mention hurting myself because I drained two blisters on the bottom of my feet this morning, so both feet were feeling it when I took Sophie for her walk. I am sure that as long I choose the proper footwear, I should be okay.

    I hope to get more sleep tonight than I did last night… I had a lot of trouble falling asleep, and there is no reason that I can think of other than my class. Hopefully this evening will be better.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 183

    I do not know how far it will go, but the recent changes to my diet routine are paying huge dividends. The bathroom scale has me down another two pounds today. What I mean to say is that when I start a new diet – each time I have started on the meal replacements program – I see profound weight loss for a few days, which will then taper off. What is important is that as I keep losing weight, I should not expect tremendous drops on a daily basis. I have to be satisfied with smaller losses. As Leslie has reminded me many times, a weight loss journey is not always a smooth and steady road.

    With all that said, I cannot imagine that cutting five hundred calories from my daily intake (while at the same time increasing my daily physical activity) can possibly be a bad thing. I seem to recall writing (or at least thinking) when I started the two-meal regimen that I would stick with it as long as I was losing weight… and when I was not, I would make another adjustment. I suppose that time has come, and I am happy to get on it.

    After three days (two religious ones) of my new food plan I have not found myself wanting for more food. Yes, I have felt hunger… but much of it was my stomach telling me it is used to having more, not that it actually needs more. I will keep resisting that nagging, as I would resist a child who wants three new toys instead of just one.

    As I was walking yesterday, it occurred to me that I have not gone back to look at my previous weight loss journals in quite some time. I then realized that today is exactly half a year since I started on this journey, and I have never lasted that long. By this point the first time around, I had already gained back about half of the weight that I had lost. My second go of it lasted longer, but after a few months I took a long hiatus, and came back later. Yes, I would eventually lose a lot more weight… and I would gain it all back.

    I do not want that to happen this time around. My intentions are to keep at it, albeit slightly slower than the previous two times. Unlike those times, I have not cut out real food completely. I have also had a wonderful woman by my side through It all, and while she has not been with me physically for a lot of it, she has been an excellent supporter. I am losing the weight for me… but also for her, and for my kids.

    While I am still in a real funk of a mood, I have been in healthier spirits, owing in large part to my exercise routine. I have gone on two incredible power walks this week, and I did a Taekwondo class on Tuesday… and will do another one this evening. It is keeping me on track, and I have a lot of reasons to stay on that track. As such, this week (or at least the three days of it that are passed) has been my most successful food week in I do not know how long. I have stuck to the plan of eating only one meal each day, and three meal replacement shakes. Yes, Monday I had some of the popcorn (which I then threw out), as well as a Japanese biscuit. Tuesday and Wednesday I did not veer from my program at all, and I can feel the difference.

    While Monday and Tuesday were chicken days, yesterday when I finished my walk (and my article about the walk) I prepared a piece of Atlantic salmon, topped with black sesame seeds, and a few slices of pickled ginger. A garden salad accompanied it, and while the piece of salmon was quite large (nearly 600 calories worth of it) I was still under 1500 calories on the day. Considering the walk/jog I did, I do not feel guilty about it.

    I am enjoying my book. Last night I sat on the patio reading with a cigar, and stayed there until the thunderstorm hit. When I do not have to be on the road, I enjoy the romance of a storm with thunder and lightning, and for the hour before the rain encroached on my balcony, I loved seeing the tremendous lightning from the corner of my eye as I read. I then went inside, had my final meal replacement of the evening, and then went to do some shopping, only to discover that the supermarkets close at 10:00pm, and it was five minutes past the hour. Oh well, I’ll go this morning.

    I am preparing for my class that begins Monday, but there is not really a lot of preparation needed. I am teaching for a new client so I have had a number of meetings with them, mostly about the (mostly) proprietary tools that they expect me to use. None of these are overly complicated. One of the people I needed to talk to is a senior instructor there, and we figured out that we have at least two colleagues in common, one of whom is among my dearest friends. It is nice when meetings do not have to be all business.

    My legs were really feeling the effects of my walking in the afternoon, and my housekeeper friend joked that I looked wobbly. I told her about my exercise, and that since I saw her last, I am down ten pounds. As she has gained five pounds in that time, she stopped harassing me. I do not know why exactly, but she only weighs herself on my scale… and my scale reports her weight to my phone as an unknown weight. I am glad it is smart enough to realize that no matter how strict I am about my diet and exercise, I cannot possibly lose 185-pounds in six weeks!

    I would imagine that were it sentient, my fitness watch would be wondering what has changed. I am blowing through 15,000 steps several days per week, which has not been the norm for a while. I hope to keep it up, and continue to surprise it.

    As I prepared for yesterday’s walk, I realized that my new workout shorts were in the laundry, and I decided to see what other workout shorts I have that fit. I pulled out maybe six pair from the bottom drawer, and sure enough, at least one pair (and possibly two) fit me just fine. I also found a sleeveless t-shirt that almost fits me, and knowing how hot it was, I decided to wear it anyways. I had vowed some months ago that I would never again go out in public wearing a shirt that exposed an inch (or any) of my belly… but when I am power-walking and jogging in the 35° heat, I would rather comfort over looks. Also, if anyone commented, I would simply say that I am wearing it to inspire me to exercise to fit into it!

  • Day 182

    In an hour I will be going to the doctor’s office to get weighed. I am optimistic that I will be down at least one kilogram since my last weigh-in. That day – my fiftieth birthday – feels like a lifetime ago. I know that for the few days after my birthday my weight went up gradually a few pounds – birthday celebrations will have their consequences – but as of yesterday morning, my weight was two pounds lower than it was on my birthday, and I was good yesterday, so just maybe I’ll hit that.

    —

    Okay, I am back… and I did not hit that target, but I also did not miss it by much. .8kg is about 1.75 lbs, and considering the fortnight it has been, I am going to take it and run.

    Emotionally I am still a wreck, but I am staying on course. Yesterday I had a cheese omelet in the morning (I had three eggs left, and it is a shame to waste them), chicken with salad for lunch, and a meal replacement shake when I came in from Taekwondo in the evening. I only did the one Taekwondo class last night, for several reasons… not the least of which is that the dojang (gym) is not air conditioned, and the heat was oppressive. Also, I know that if I am going to get back into it, which I want to do, I have to do it smartly. It would not do to hurt myself, forcing me to take a break from exercising today and possibly tomorrow through the weekend.

    I uninstalled Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter from my phone yesterday. I am truly in a rut and do not want to be social. Hopefully that will change, but for the next little while I will be ignoring all social media. Fortunately, I am starting a new teaching assignment that will last nearly an entire month starting Monday, so I will have what to keep my mind occupied with. I love teaching, and I hate that I have essentially been sitting on my butt for the last few months. Don’t get me wrong, I have been keeping myself busy… but I have not earned a pay cheque since May, and that is no way for a man to be. Yes, I have money in the bank and have been able to live off of that, but that is not how I want to live. I have always said that I want to be a productive member of society… and aside from that, even if I did not, my savings will eventually run dry. I do not want that to happen!

    When will I go back to Facebook and the other social media platforms? I don’t know. I am not planning to use them on my computer either, if that is what you were thinking. I am taking a break from them. Yesterday I posted that I am going dark for a little while. I did not wait to read responses to that, I just closed out. When I am feeling better, I will think about it… maybe.

    Today is Wednesday, July 20, and I have decided to set a new short-term goal. Because of my upcoming teaching schedule, my next doctor’s appointment and weigh-in is August 24, precisely five weeks from today. On that day, I will weigh (at least) seven kilos (about 15.5 pounds) less than I do today. How, you ask, do I plan to kick up my weight loss up so much? I started this week, and will continue to eat only one proper meal per day (instead of two), and I will replace that second meal with another meal replacement (or two). For the last six months it has been two meals (one of which was usually a salad with salmon or tuna) and two meal replacements. For the next five weeks I will eat one proper meal (which will remain largely unchanged from what my primary meal has been) and three meal replacement shakes. I also plan to exercise every evening after class – Tuesdays and Thursdays will be Taekwondo; the other nights will be a power walk. I am growing impatient with the sluggish pace of weight loss, which has been good but not great. Yes, I know it is a marathon and not a sprint… but some marathoners run faster than others. For me, it is time to hit that Turbo-Boost button and get going. If I can do that, then hopefully by November I can weigh in at under 300-pounds (136kg).

    Those are far from my ultimate goal. By my fifty-first birthday, I would like to weigh 100 lbs (45.5kg) less than I do today. Can I accomplish that? I do not know. I do know that if I set lofty goals for myself, then stick to the plan, then even if I miss them, I can be satisfied by the results. What is most important is that I do not do what I have now done twice… lost a lot of weight, and then fall of the program and gain it all back. Whether I lose 100 lbs or only 50 lbs, I have to stay vigilant to never regain that weight again.

    In the meantime: One of my favourite living authors releases a new book in his series every July. Traditionally, I buy the book on my Kobo (e-reader), and when I am done with it then my father’s widow will read it. Of course, last year was the first year that it was not my father grabbing it as soon as I was done with it, before handing it off to Esti. She will get it when I am done with it… and that usually takes a couple of days. I started it on the balcony last night, and it will keep me occupied possibly through the weekend.

    With my weigh-in behind me, I am going to finish my first cup of coffee and my meal replacement shake, and then I am going to go for a walk. I am not expecting to smash any records like I did Monday, but I would like to get at least seven kilometres in, and if I can do that in 1h15 minutes then I will be extremely happy. I know it is going to be an extremely hot day – There is a heat warning for the next few days, with the high temperatures in the mid-80s every day (29°-32° Celsius), so I will bring a lot of water. It is almost amusing that what we consider scorching hot here is almost balmy in Dallas, where the next week high temperatures are over 100° Fahrenheit every day. Well, I am here, and here’s weather is what I have to deal with.

    Have a great day folks!

  • And What a Walk!

    Speaking with Leslie today (and over the last little while) I have started to fully understand that I need exercise for a few reasons. It crucial for my weight loss strategy, there is no question that exercise is a critical component to losing weight and getting back into shape. That is an obvious and direct benefit.

    There is a less obvious (if equally critical) benefit to exercising. I know that food is an addiction, and I have to break that unhealthy relationship with food. Leslie reminded me (several times) that if I have been turning to food (and mostly unhealthy foods) to deal with stress, anxiety, sadness, and depression then I need a different go-to that I can use to replace food in those moments of despair and desperation.

    I have known my friends Rick and Isolina (The Beard and The Munchkin) nearly twenty-five years. He has been for many years the most faithful and constant reader of my main blog (www.garvis.ca) and has watched trends in my life. He pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago (yet again) that he can tell when I am back at my Taekwondo training from my tone… not only when we talk, but in my writing on my blogs and on Facebook. I know that he is right… although I am going to put in one slight amendment to that statement. I am more upbeat when I am in training… whether that be walking, running, weight training, or of course my primary sport, Taekwondo.

    (Rick is going to read that and within a day I am going to get a phone call from him saying ‘You know, you are probably right… but it is even more clear when you are in Taekwondo; I know that you love it and it shows.’ I love you, Rick!)

    Okay… so if working out in general and Taekwondo in particular are activities that lift my spirits, then why shouldn’t I turn to them as a crutch? ‘Hey, I am having a really terrible day today… I’ll go for a long walk and maybe I’ll feel better.’ Or: ‘Wow, what a crappy day. Fortunately, I can go to a Taekwondo class or two this evening, and that will help me work out my aggressions.’

    It is a question of shifting my go-to from eating bad foods to making healthy choices.

    By the way, if I do that, there will be another added benefit to my general mood. I am always in a better mood when my weight is down. Yes, this morning was the exception to that rule, but sometimes things really do get that bad. Okay, so if I am in a better mood when my weight is trending down, then exercising instead of eating will prevent weight gain and usually cause weight loss. As I wrote in my article ‘One Pound Lost is Three Pounds of Progress’ (republished on my blog March 30, 2022), every pound that I lose not only means that pound, but it also represents the pound that I could have stayed the same, and the pound that I could have gained. Lower weight equals happier Mitch. It really is that simple.

    I started today, and as the title of this entry alludes to, I had one hell of a walk. I don’t know if it was because of the motivation, because I weigh less than I have in years, or if it that I spent ten hours in the car yesterday, or that I have not walked in eleven days. I do know that I am wearing a new pair of running shoes (thanks Leslie!) and that my feet were feeling fine from beginning to end, and that I have a lot of crap in my head that I am trying to sort out. I also know that today’s walk broke a few records. Here are the numbers:

    • Distance: 9.03 km (7. 5 km)
    • Duration: 1:33:28 (1:22:42 minutes)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:21 (11:01)
    • Steps: 10.8k (9.3k)
    • Calories burned: 524 (429)
    • Elevation gain: 34.1m (28m)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 116 (112)

    There is a lot of bold text there because yes, each one of those is a record. I beat my previous best distance by 1.5km, which of course means that it was 16m25s longer in duration. My previous best pace was 10m37s per kilometre. Today it was a full 16s per kilometre better. In fact, each of my first seven kilometres was well faster than that, and had I stopped after five kilometres, my pace was actually 10m05s per kilometre!

    Yes, I kicked butt out there on my walk, and I am proud of it.

    I do not know if I will walk tomorrow because it is a Taekwondo day (as are all Tuesdays and Thursdays). What I might do is go for a lighter 5km walk… I won’t push myself; I will just do it to get a little more exercise than just the classes. I have to decide how I am going to do that, but we will see.

    I suppose there is another ulterior motive for an extra workout tomorrow… the following day is my fortnightly weigh-in, and it would be good to show progress. As it is, this morning I weighed 2/10ths of a pound more than I did on my previous weigh-in.

    That is another attitude I have to be cognizant of. I cannot act ‘business as usual’ for ten days, and then in the days leading up to my doctor’s visit push myself to get back on track. While weight loss is indeed a marathon and not a sprint, I do not know a lot of marathon runners who slack off for any amount of time during a race. I cannot either. Yes, there will be moments of weakness; what is most important is recognizing them and recovering from them as quickly as possible. All important lessons.

    I would love to push for a huge weight loss between now and the end of the summer, and so I am going to stay close to home. By that I mean I am going to avoid social situations where I am tempted to take peanuts or hamburgers or whatever else. Happily, I have a month-long teaching contract starting next Monday, which will also keep me focused and disciplined. It would be wonderful if Leslie were to come for a visit or if I were to go to visit her during that month, but unlike so many of my friends, Leslie encourages me to stay on track and to eat healthy. After all, I hope she wants to have me around for many years to come.

    As I write this, I realize the following:

    1. I have not showered since coming in from my walk. Yuck.
    2. I have ingested precisely one meal replacement shake today, which means that with the 524 calories that I burned on my walk, I am in a deficit of 299 calories.
    3. I have to get my butt in gear and go pick up Princess Sophie.

    Have a great afternoon folks!

  • Day 171

    I do not like gaining weight. I really do not like gaining a pound and a half overnight. I really did like the piece of chocolate birthday cake that my godson’s parents gave me and devoured every last bite of. Sometimes it is had to see the cause of the effect. This is not one of those cases.

    Leslie and I had a lovely omelet for breakfast this morning. Sautéed onions, dill, and cheese make for a good eggy breakfast. We also had some fresh blueberries to compliment the meal.

    In a couple of hours, we will drive to Cambridge for my birthday party. It will be good to see my friends, but I know Leslie is reticent about meeting a bunch of new people. The last few days have taken a bit of a toll, and I understand that. I hope today will be fun though… and that I do not go too crazy off my diet.

    I made a conscious decision to take a couple of days off of my power walking. I know that my leg muscles needed a bit of a break! I will try to go for another walk on Monday, and then Tuesday I am driving to Montreal… where yes, I can still walk!

    Thursday I will be driving to Long Island, where I will meet Leslie and her son on Friday. I am really excited about that! I have not met him yet, but we have spoken, and I cannot wait to get to know him. I am also excited for my buddy who is getting married, but that is of course secondary to my meeting the boy.

    Have a great day folks!