Losing a part of me

Category: Travel

  • Day 437

    I’m on my way! Very excited to be sure.

    Two things happened yesterday. 1) I dropped below my best weight ever. 2) I dropped off the program… at least temporarily.

    I wrote about Number 1 in yesterday’s article, and that’s all good.

    So why did I drop off the program? Do I lack the willpower? I do not. Did I succumb to temptation? I did not. The simple answer is that I listened to my body. Nearly all week I have been suffering from bowl issues. Monday and Tuesday it would have been easy to write off to the foods that I ate over the weekend. By the time Friday afternoon rolls around and I am still having troubles, with the added consequence of the hemorrhoids (which are almost certainly related to the diarrhoea), and I have to accept that my body is trying to tell me something. Since Sunday I have jogged fifty kilometres, an average of over 8km per day. With the exception of Sunday, I have ingested little more than 900 calories per day. I am not a doctor, but I would not be surprised if my body were just saying that I have been overdoing it. After speaking with Leslie, I decided to make some food. I went a bit overboard… I had veggie burgers, then a bag of mini crisps. I am sure that tomorrow morning my weight will pop above this morning’s record-breaker, but I would rather be healthy.

    This morning I arrived at the airport and decided that while I would not be going nuts today, I would also not be restricting myself the way I have for so long. I sat down at the same restaurant where I had breakfast last time and ordered something different. After reading the description I realized that the breakfast poutine was not nearly as bad as it sounded, so I decided to give it a go. It was essentially scrambled eggs and cheese over hashbrowns, and it was quite tasty. I will likely have a salad for lunch today, but not because it is the only thing that I can eat without falling off a cliff. I will stay mindful, but I am going to give myself a fair bit more leeway over the next week than I have previously.

    I gained weight this morning according to the bathroom scale. I am two pounds up from yesterday, and no longer in best weight ever territory… but I am also trying to get my body back to health. As I stood waiting for my flight this morning, I remembered that it is so easy when one is not feeling well to think the worst, or to think that the pain or discomfort will be the new normal. I do not think that so, and I know that in a few days I will be getting back to normal with my issues. That does not mean I will be getting back to my full-fast program; that is something I will be giving a lot more thought to.

    I have been telling myself these last few weeks that I am nearing the end of my full-fast phase of weight loss, and at a certain point it will be time to ween myself off it. I have not made any decisions yet, but following my trip, assuming I am feeling better, I am going to speak with my doctor and am probably going to resume my partial program – three shakes and one meal per day, or two plus two. I think my intake might depend on my exercise. I think, however, that if these last couple of days is actually my body telling me to slow down, then before I resume anything serious, I want my doctor to give me an examination (including blood work) to make sure I am not doing any damage. I do not think that I am, but I have said from the very beginning that I want to do this the right way.

    I am presently 30,000 feet over South Bend, Indiana… I do not usually post from airplanes, but it is not unheard of. The rest of the day, following my arrival, will have fun, sun, and cigars. No word on my plans just yet because where I am going I will have to rely on others.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 436–Best Weight Ever!

    I honestly did not think that it would happen today. I expected to step onto the bathroom scale to see that I had lost .2 or .4, or even stayed the same as yesterday. Of course, I have been on the watch for it for the last few days. When I looked down at the numbers transmitted from the device to my smartphone and saw that I was not at, but actually just under my best weight from 2005… I do not know how to describe the emotions that went through my head, my heart, my whole body. I do not know when it was that my weight first crept above that number, but as it is only about 40-45 lbs. more than I likely weighed when I finished my Army service, and knowing how terribly I ate for those first three years (not to mention the last six months of my service) and it is easy to assume that it was well before Y2K. I know that in 2004-5 it dropped from 295 to 255, only to start climbing again when my first wife left me. I am, as of this morning, the lowest weight I have ever weighed in this millennium. I am trying to remain calm and composed as I am jumping out of my skin.

    Until just five days ago I was talking about the comparative chart from my weight loss journey in 2020. While I first beat that number on Wednesday of last week, I decided to keep charting it… especially after this weekend, when I faltered, and my weight jumped, popping above that number for one day. On the race from 285.2 lbs. (I weighed the same the day after I returned from my previous trip to Dallas on February 3 as I did on July 21, 2020) to the best weight of 2020 (September 27, 2020), it took me 48 days to reach and 53 days to stay below that milestone. On each of those days I was 9 and 6.4 lbs. below the corresponding day’s weight from 2020. In 2020 I know I only stayed at that weight for one single day, and then started a gradual (and eventually not-so-gradual) climb back up. New Years Day 2021 I weighed 305.4. Over the next few months, I was still putting in some effort… I see that there was a week in January of that year when my weight was fluctuating between 2-3-285 lbs. In mid-February of 2021 my weight jumped above the 300 lbs. mark for the last time, staying there for twenty-three months. Since January 12 (when it dropped to 299 lbs.) I have lost 44.2 lbs., and I plan to keep going.

    My efforts on the treadmill yesterday were not spectacular, but I was still out there doing it. I jogged the first bit, then walked another 2km before calling it a day.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • Distance: 4.09km (8.4km)
    • Duration: 34:22 (1:02:42)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 8m24s (7m27s)
    • Steps: 5,200 (9,475)
    • Calories burned: 450 (1,117)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 151 (151)

    I mentioned over the last couple of days that I was having issues with my bowels. It was at the gym yesterday that I started to feel some discomfort, which would eventually get worse and even interfere with my sleep. No, it was not intestinal, rather an issue that I have experienced a couple of times before, usually after a few days of intestinal issues. Hemorrhoids are itchy and painful, and I am glad that I had cream at home that would start to treat it. Such are the joys of weight loss and aging, folks.

    My afternoon went pretty much as planned yesterday, except that I needed to take care of a number of logistical items for the wedding. Upon returning from the gym, I had my second meal replacement before taking Her Floofness to see Eduardo and his wife. We had a cigar on the balcony and chatted, which was nice. After that, Princess Sophie and I dropped in to see another friend at his work before coming home. While enjoying my third meal replacement of the day, I took care of yet more wedding planning things before heading out to Taekwondo. While the first half of the class was great, the second was interrupted by a call I had scheduled… also wedding-related, and with someone whose time I need to respect. She told me that this was when she was available, so at 7:59pm I stepped out of class and called her. I returned to class in time for the end. Taekwondo is important… our wedding is more important. I came home and enjoyed my final meal replacement of the day while speaking with Leslie, and taking care of yet more wedding logistics issues.

    I know that I will not get a lot of sleep tonight. I teach until 9:30pm, and my alarm is set to wake me up at 2:15am. Hopefully I will get some sleep on the airplane, but even if I do not, I will be fine. Tomorrow morning, I will restart my modified program, so after I am checked in at the airport, I will have breakfast and coffee. I bought my snacks for the plane – almonds and mini crisp chips – and I will not be tempted to cheat with anything else. Tomorrow should be a good day overall.

    Knowing that I won’t be sleeping much does not change my plans for the day. I have been dealing with things all morning, so it is almost noon. I have one more call to make for the wedding, after which I will head to the gym for my last run in Canada for the next week or so, after which I will return home and prepare for my class. While the forecast is for the temperatures to rise to 7° by the late afternoon, the rain is predicted to continue non-stop until I get onto the airplane tomorrow morning, so running outside is not an option. When I get home from the gym, I will also be packing my suitcase, which is extremely exciting for me! I will teach until the end of class, and then I will have my final meal replacement and speak with Leslie before going to bed as early as I can. Hopefully throughout the day my bum will feel a bit better, and the swelling will be much less (or even gone completely) by tomorrow.

    I will stay mindful and on-track today and will not veer from my path. Just because I hit such a monumental milestone this morning does not give me leave to splurge… especially knowing that tomorrow is a travel day. I did not say that I want to hit my best weight ever before Saturday, I said that I want to get onto the airplane on Saturday at my best weight ever. Staying on track is the way to do that. I will, of course, light the Shabbat candles with my wife during my evening break, but I am not going to buy challah. I might pour a k’zayt of wine, but that’s it. Because it will be so early I do not know what I will weigh tomorrow morning, but if I am back above 255 it will not be because I veered from the path today. I am going to run, and I am going to get it all done. This is a major milestone, but it is not the end of the journey.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 435

    I was so excited that I was going to break all of my distance records yesterday on the treadmill. I was nearly 2km into my jog when I realized I had not pressed the start button on my fitness tracker. Of course, this should make absolutely no difference to my workout; I am not running primarily to track my run, but to get fit. For some reason, that logic did not help me, and I just never got into the run. I will try again today, but not with the intention of setting records, only to get back up on the horse. My schedule is pretty packed, so I am not going to be able to spend hours at the gym. I will go, I will run for an hour, then I’ll pick up Her Floofness and we will go to Eduardo’s for a couple of hours. It would be slightly easier if my ultrasound appointment was at 10:00am, and not 11:00am.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    · Distance: 8.4km (5.6km)

    · Duration: 1:02:42 (39:09)

    · Average Pace (Min/km): 7m27s (7m01s)

    · Steps: 9,475 (6,075)

    · Calories burned: 1,117 (767)

    · Average cadence (steps per minute): 151 (155)

    I should remember that I should not be pushing myself at the gym today, knowing that I have my Taekwondo class this evening. I did spend ten minutes on the mat stretching before I jogged yesterday, and I will do the same today. In six months, I will be ready to test for my next belt… and I will be in the best shape of my (adult) martial arts life!

    My bowel movement this morning was solid, and there were slight indicators from my body that it is safe and prudent to resume my fibre additive in the mornings. I suppose it was simply something that I ate over the weekend that caused me issues, and that is behind me now. Phew! **Written later and before publishing the entry: No, I am still having loose bowel issues. Hold the fibre once again, thank you!

    I am so close. With two days left before I get up early to head to the airport, the reading on the bathroom scale this morning has me at 255.6 pounds. I am less than one pound away from achieving my best post-Army weight ever. As I woke up this morning, I started thinking that it might be today. That would have been a stretch, as it would literally mean I would have lost four pounds in two days. I also knew that it was possible that I would give back some weight this morning, but that did not happen. I was thrilled to see that I am inside one pound, and also know realistically that I might fall outside of that range tomorrow… but staying on track, staying mindful, and staying focused are how I will figure out how to get there. Over the next few days, I will be on the watch for it though. A few months ago, I would have expected that when I do get there, I would let out a loud ‘whoop!’ but now I expect a big smile, a quiet fist pump, and then I will go about my day. I will not be rewarding myself with a big cheat meal… that would defeat the purpose. I will be going off the full-fast program Saturday for the week that I am away, but I will not be starting out with the same wild cheat night that I usually have when I go to Dallas. When I leave town on Saturday I might or might not be at or under my best weight ever; I promise you, dear reader, that when I return to Canada the following Sunday I will be.

    Yesterday’s extreme winds brought a drop in the temperature (along with a couple of hours of wild snow). When Her Floofness and I went out this morning the thermometer read -8°, which in February is pretty seasonal but the last few days of March might be considered less so. As such, I will not even be thinking about running outside today; I will go to the gym where I can be comfortable. When I am out of town next week, I will likely spend a lot more time jogging outside and exploring my environs as I do. Hopefully by the time I get back to Canada we will be done with the below-zero temperatures, and spring (which supposedly started a week ago) will really be ready to kick in.

    Leslie and I made a very exciting decision on Tuesday; I followed that decision up with a long phone call with my rabbi yesterday afternoon. With that, the path is clear, and the date is set. My wife and I are getting married! That might sound weird, so let me explain. We were married by a judge in the State of Texas. There were no witnesses – there were three people in the courtroom – the bride, the groom, the judge. We have set the date for our religious ceremony, which will be at the synagogue. When I fly to Dallas at the end of the month, she and I will then board a flight to California, and that weekend we will be married under the eyes of G-d… and a few friends who will be gathered to witness our happiness. There are so many things that we have to do between now and then, and I am glad that the rabbi (who is also a friend) is guiding us through it. Last night I ordered the ketubah (the marriage contract, a hand-drawn and calligraphed document that will be signed prior to the ceremony, and then framed and mounted on our wall forever). This morning, I decided to order customized kippot (yarmulkas) – the skullcaps that Jewish men wear, which is so often a tradition that a couple shares with their guests. This afternoon, I will have to speak with a couple of people in California regarding the logistics, food, setup, and everything else. It is a frenzy, and it is exciting! The countdown is officially on.

    Wednesday evening (six days from now) is the beginning of Passover. Not realizing that I would be traveling next week, when I was last in Dallas, I purchased a box of Matzahs. That box will be getting onto yet another international flight, making it a very well-traveled box of unleavened bread! With the expectation that by then I will be safely into best-weight-ever territory, I plan to make a very minor feast, including some of the traditional foods that have always made Pesach one of my favourite Jewish festivals. I will prepare the Pesach plate, I will fill a cup of wine for Elijah the Prophet, and with very few people around the table, I will tell the story of our flight from the bonds of slavery into the dessert, where we wandered for forty years before the descendants of the slaves crossed the Jordan River into Eretz Yisrael. While Matzah is completely not good for my weight loss regimen, I am going to celebrate my holiday… and I will do it weighing less than I have in this millennium.

    Over the last few days, I have been fitting things into my schedule for today, and every time I did, I kept trying to remember what it was that I have scheduled for the evening. I have long said that if it is not in my Outlook, it will not be remembered. This morning, I finally created a recurring event for Tuesdays and Thursdays… my Taekwondo classes! I have a lot of learning to do, or rather relearning. Before I am ready to test for my next belt, I have to relearn every pattern that I had to learn for all of my previous belts… or at least, all of the official patterns. That means I need to relearn eight Taeguk patterns, Koryo, Keumgang, and Taebek. I will also have to learn a pattern called Pyongwon, which I have seen but have never learned. Of course, the patterns are one thing… I also want to vastly improve my form. The major takeaway from my first class on Tuesday is that my kicks are garbage, and I have to work on them… a lot.

    My plans for today are to stay mindful, to stay on track, and to try to stay focused. I have a lot of things I need to get done, starting with my ultrasound. I’ll pack my gym kit so that I can go straight there from the clinic. After that, I will come home, have my meal replacement, and then Princess Sophie and I will head up to see Eduardo and Gladys. I hope to also stop into see Ryan at his job before coming home to teach this evening. Staying on track means that my Saturday I might be there… but I must stay on track!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 425

    As she drove me to the airport yesterday morning, Leslie expressed her regret that we had gone out for a splurge dinner the previous evening, thus erasing all progress that I made on my weight loss journey while in Dallas. I told her the following:

    a) There was no reason to regret it; we had a wonderful evening (despite whatever effects the meal would take on our stomachs before the night’s end).

    b) It is my experience that the weight-gain effects of a single cheat meal that causes such an overnight weight gain will usually be very temporary, and it was possible or even likely that most or all of the gain would be lost again over the next day or two.

    c) Even with that cheat, I was still down a full pound from the day that I flew into Dallas.

    I had a very good bowel movement after I unpacked my suitcase, which was a relief for two reasons. I had worried since the previous evening that the unrest in my stomach would eventually lead to a more unpleasant experience on the porcelain throne. That was followed this morning by another one, which gave me hope that I was right, and that the weight gained Saturday night into Sunday would start to drop off this morning… despite the fact that I had a can of Pringles and a bag of almonds on the airplane. No, it was not the large can… it was the individual size, which is a huge improvement over what I likely would have done just a few short months ago. When I got back to the apartment, I thought briefly about resuming my full-fast program this morning, but then thought better of it; the only calories I consumed last night were two meal replacement shakes, which was exactly the right thing to do… especially if I was hoping to resume losing weight as of this morning.

    I had a bit of a technical issue with my bathroom scale and the app this morning. Before getting dressed I weighed myself (as is my habit). I was thrilled to see that not only was my weight down, but it was significantly down. I mean, it was slightly lower than my previous best from Saturday morning! Woohoo! I got dressed, I took Her Floofness for a walk (the first one we took since I got home). After feeding her, I made coffee and prepared my shake. Sitting down at my computer, I realized I had not worked on this system since before Patch Tuesday, and so it was going to reboot for me. I decided to fiddle around with the app on my phone; after nearly three years of using it, I noticed a couple of features on it this weekend that I wanted to try. The unfortunate result was that I accidentally wiped out this morning’s weigh-in. Damn. Well, I had only had one sip of my coffee, so it was not too late to weigh myself again. I got undressed and did just that, nervously hoping that I had not imagined it, or that I had somehow gained two pounds in thirty minutes.

    265.0 lbs.

    Wow. Not only had I not imagined it, but somehow along the way, in fewer than 1000 steps with Princess Sophie, my weight had dropped another .4 lb., putting me at the threshold, and achieving a new milestone. I have now lost one hundred and thirty pounds. My Body Mass Index (BMI) dropped to an even 34.0. According to the scale and app (which granted might not be the most accurate to measure these), my body fat percentage is now 30.3% (down from a high of over 40%) and my Basal Metabolic Rate is 2,076 (down from a high of nearly 3,000). As a much shorter-term win, that puts me 3.8 lbs. lower than I was the morning I flew to Dallas, besting my previously stated (albeit pessimistic) goal of gaining 2 lbs. by nearly six pounds! I am thrilled, and I know Leslie will be too.

    While the forecast high today gets up to 5°, it is also predicted to be quite windy. As such, I think it will be a perfect opportunity for me to go to the gym. An hour on the treadmill followed by fifteen minutes in the sauna sounds like a good way to spend a couple of hours. I am teaching this evening so I might spend a few minutes reviewing my material. Tomorrow I am hoping to drive into Toronto to pick up meal replacements… I got a notification that the clinic where I buy them is closed for the next month, but the nurse told me that she would meet me before she actually goes on vacation to make sure I have the proper supplies. Otherwise, I would not need to go into town for another week and a half. Oh well, whether I go tomorrow or next week is not really a big difference. I just hope that I can get either the gym or an outdoor jog in tomorrow – my cleaning lady (who has not been since mid-February) is coming in the afternoon, so I have to plan things properly.

    I am happy that I am getting back into that mindset of trying to make sure I can get my run or walk or whatever exercise into my schedule on a mostly regular basis. Previously it was one of those things that I would do, but it was not something I necessarily planned and was eager for. Now, especially since I am back into the mode of competing with myself, I feel the excitement of getting back at it as often as I can. When I head to the gym today, I will be doing my inaugural workout with my new fitness watch, a present from my lovely and doting wife. It arrived Friday afternoon after I was back from my workout, and I did not get out over the weekend. I am looking forward to seeing how it fares. My initial disappointment in realizing that it is not a touch screen has been turned around, remembering the issues I so often had with the touch screen on my previous fitness watch, especially in wet weather or when my hands were sweaty. It will take some getting used to with the buttons, but as I mentioned to Leslie yesterday (or Saturday?) I was still not entirely used to the functions on the previous watch. I will pay closer attention on this one, and hopefully I will not be saying the same thing in 3.5 years.

    Princess Sophie decided to go to the neighbour’s today to spend the day playing with her pal Charlie, so it is relatively quiet here for now. I suppose it is as good a time as any to get ready and go to the gym. I have a few emails I need to respond to first, but hopefully by 11:00am I can head out.

    My plan for the day is to stay mindful and to stay on track. Today is my first day back on the full-fast program, and as Leslie reminded me yesterday, there is the possibility that might put me into a bit of a mood. If I am, I will do my best to make sure that I do not show it or take it out on anyone. I do not know if the endorphins from working out might counterbalance that, but I will try to pay attention and see if I notice a difference. Leslie told me yesterday that she did not notice a huge difference the last time I came back to Canada and resumed the full fast, but that I had told her I felt it. Wouldn’t it be great if I do not feel it at all this time? If I can get through the day on meal replacements (and coffee) only, and not feel any negative effects… that would be great! Of course, I am teaching this evening, so if I need the extra caffeine to get through that, I will not hesitate. I do not want anyone to feel the negative effects of my mood, but if it affects my work then that is especially bad.

    Today is the 14-month anniversary of my weight loss journey, so how perfect that I can celebrate it by hitting a new best-weight-yet, a couple of new milestone (at the 265 threshold, plus the 130-pounds-lost mark), and a new fitness watch to inaugurate with a great workout… possibly even a new record for distance? Time? Pace? Who knows? As always, I will follow the advice of my doctor… I will listen to my body and let pain guide me. If I feel the need to stop, I will. Otherwise, who knows how far I might jog? Smile

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 424

    When I press ‘publish’ on this journal entry, I will immediately receive a notification from WordPress that I am on a 198-day streak on my weight loss blog. How crazy is it that I have written 400,000 words about weight loss over the last fourteen months?

    Yesterday was not the relaxed and fun day I had hoped it would be but Leslie and I did what we needed to do, followed by a delicious Mediterranean meal that was not even close to adjacent to my program. I told her that I knew I was going to go back to Canada weighing less than when I arrived in Dallas, no matter what… this is one of her favourite restaurants, and I wanted to take her out to enjoy it. It does not hurt that I am a huge lover of Mediterranean food. While the meal was delicious, something that we ate upset both of our stomachs. At first I thought it was simply that I had overeaten – I should never go back to another all-you-can-eat buffet – but it turns out that we both had cramps all night. We will be more careful next time.

    We finished the evening as we so often do – we had a lovely cigar on the balcony, which would have been much more enjoyable if we were both not feeling under the weather. It was also sad that before we did that, I packed my luggage. It sucks knowing that we had to wake up this morning and drive to the airport. I hate leaving her, and I know she hates it too. Fortunately I have my next trip down here booked already, and we know exactly how long it will be. While counting down those larger numbers may be sad, there was a time when we did not know when the next trip would be, and that was much harder on both of us.

    There was no doubt that the numbers on the bathroom scale were going to be significantly higher today than they were yesterday. In the end I am still down 1.2 lbs. from the morning I flew down here, and that is a huge success. Yes, I might have done better had we not indulged last night, but I did not go into the meal blind. I made the decision in advance that I did not mind giving back some of my progress for a night of Lebanese food. The only thing I would do differently next time is I will order off the menu rather than the buffet… not only would it control my portions, but it would also ensure that the food was fresh. As I mentioned, something that we both ate did not agree with us.

    It is a cold and dreary morning in Dallas, a perfect metaphor for how I feel having to leave. I will be mindful at the airport and on the airplane, and hopefully when I get onto the bathroom scale tomorrow morning I will have lost some if not most of the weight that I put on this morning. If the weather is agreeable then I might even go for a jog this afternoon… we’ll see what the weather is like by the time I get home.

    I might write more from the airport, but for now I’ll wish you all well. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 423

    I broke another record on the treadmill yesterday. Knowing that my plan was to only run 5km, I set the pace at 4.5mph and was able to keep that pace for the entire workout. In fact, I did 5.5km because I wanted to make sure I did the 3mi as well, whether or not I was breaking records or personal bests. I also earned that 5km weekend running badge that I thought was for last weekend.

    I have walked or jogged either on the treadmill, in the streets, or at the mall every day this week except for one, and I am shocked by what I have been able to accomplish. It was only five weeks ago that I set out on my first jog, which did not amount to a full 2.5km. It was only two weeks ago that I did a combined 11km jogging and walking, but the jogging was in two ‘sets’ of 3km, each followed by walking. I never thought that just a couple of weeks later I would be jogging more than I am walking. Tuesday’s 8.2km jog was a real shock for me, and Thursday’s 11km run blew my mind. I knew that if I was going to jog Friday, I would have to set limits for myself… not because I do not want to push myself, but because I have obligations and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Leslie.

    These last fourteen months (it will be fourteen months on Monday!) have been a challenge, but I think I have finally hit my tipping point. Whatever weightlifting or other exercise I have done, and even walking (and I did a lot of walking throughout last spring and summer), I know it has always been jogging that has caused me to shed the pounds best. When combined with proper eating habits, I know that when I run I am going to have an easier time, with a steadier weight loss pace. If I can keep it up throughout the spring and summer, whether outdoors or at the gym, then I know that I will be able to achieve those short-term goals that I have been trying for. If I average a weekly loss of 3.5 lbs. then I will beat my 2020 best by March 30 (less than two weeks away), and my best adult weight on April 10. Those are milestones worth celebrating! For now, I am just happy that this visit to Dallas has been a successful one in almost every way, but with regard to my weight loss, going home weighing less than I did when I arrived is a huge victory for me.

    I should mention that I am very close to being able to claim a 130-pound weight loss. That blows my mind! This morning the bathroom scale reads 265.8 lbs., which is absolutely blowing my mind. I am 5.4 lbs. from my best weight in 2020, and I am 10.8 lbs. from my best adult weight. More important for the very short-term is that I am 3 lbs. down from my best weight before my trip, and 3.6 lbs. down from the morning I flew down to Dallas. That drop in one week would be acceptable in any circumstances, but knowing how much I have eaten this past week… I am just amazed, once again, that I can lose weight while eating. That gives me hope that when it is time to wean myself off the program I will be able to maintain my weight, as long as I am mindful about it.

    Last night after class Leslie prepared the leftover Chinese food along with some wonderful chicken and lamb skewers that we both enjoy. Because it was the Sabbath, we also shared a bottle of sparkling wine. Normally I can take it or leave it, but the bottle she chose for yesterday was very tasty, and I enjoyed my fair share of it. I had been worried the previous evening because I had some of the rice with my dinner, but I did the same last night without worrying about the consequences. As it turns out, there were none! I will say that yesterday I ate more than I usually do throughout the day – we had a salad for lunch, but I also had two handfuls of almonds and another meal replacement shake throughout the day. I am learning that I have to listen to my body when it tells me that I need calories, especially on the days that I exercise. It is great to have a caloric deficit resulting in weight loss; it is not wonderful when you are lightheaded and almost collapse midday from that caloric deficit.

    Today is, sadly, my last full day in Dallas. It is the last day that I will both wake up with and go to sleep next to my wife until the end of April, which always makes us both sad. Fortunately I have booked my next trip down, but there is only so much that we can do. Will the State Department get off their heinies and let me live with my wife please? We will make the most of the day though… we have things to do, but we will start with our now traditional weekend latté and cigar on the balcony, and we will end it with a lovely dinner out for which we will get dressed to the nines. We are hoping that her new dress arrives today, but if it does not then I still know that she will look fabulous in whatever she wears. As for me, the uniform of the evening will be my blue suit, which is the only one I brought with me.

    I went to the optometrist yesterday and picked out a new pair of sunglasses. I was really hoping they would be able to switch the lenses from my current pair (which are falling apart) with the previous pair (which are in perfect shape, just the wrong prescription). The lenses are almost identical in shape, but only different enough to prevent them from doing that. I will wear the decrepit pair for the next five weeks, and then will switch to the new pair… which is radically different (but not at all radical). They are also a fancy brand name (which I confess I had never heard of), which will be a change from my previous several pair. Leslie likes me in them, and I confess I like the new look too.

    The weather today is not great, but there is no precipitation forecast the next few days. We will probably need sweaters to sit on the balcony, but we are both fine with that. After that, we will head out to run our errands and enjoy the day… and we will try to forget that I have to leave tomorrow. That is a sword hanging over our heads that always makes both of us sad. I will stay mindful today and will be good and true to my modified program, especially knowing that Monday morning I am back on the full-fast for the next five months.

    I have given some thought to how long I plan to stay on the full-fast program, as well as the modified program. If I lose an average of .4 lb. per day (2.8 lbs. per week) consistently for the next four months, then on my birthday I will weigh about 222 lbs., which is absolutely incredible to me. If I lose an average of 3.5 lbs. per week (.5 lb. per day) then I will be at 210 lbs. Either way, as long as I do not have a terrible period of stagnation, I will be off the program by then – probably by July 1, a few days before that. As amazing that it is to me that I lost 100 lbs. in the first year of the program, it is absolutely inconceivable to me that from my birthday last year – by which point I had already lost sixty pounds – to my birthday this year, if I stay on this track then I will lose between 110-120 lbs. in the 365 days. If that is not something to strive for then I don’t know what is. To put that in perspective of the lulls and plateaus in my journey, one year ago today I weighed exactly ninety pounds less than I did this morning. All sorts of wow.

    I have picked up the latté and I am going to sit on the balcony relaxing. Today will be a day devoid of any stresses or obligations. The only thing that I (quite unfortunately) have to do today is pack… which makes me terribly sad. In an hour or so I am going to get a notice that it is time to check in for my flight, and I will do so sadly. I do not want to go… despite all of the obligations back in Canada.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 415

    Sorry… not sorry. I was completely expecting to be two pounds heavier this morning than I was yesterday morning and I was. My weight has snuck back above 270 lbs., but that will be a short-term thing. I had a fabulous evening with my wife, I indulged in sushi goodness, and then we had a fabulous cigar on the balcony. All is well in the world.

    Leslie keeps calling me tiny. I love when I catch her looking at me in continued disbelief at my weight loss. It makes me happy to see the look on her face. I am so happy with her and being with her makes my life better.

    Leslie has to go into work for a couple of hours. I have a meeting at 11:30am, after which I will go for a jog. I am not sure how far I will be able to go before I stop and continue walking, but I am going to shoot for better than the usual 3km that I have been doing on a pretty regular basis. The weather will be much more amenable to it – I do not have to wear layers and layers – so maybe that will help. It would be wonderful if I could do 5km, but whatever I do, it will be better than staying home reading a book and smoking on the balcony. Please allow me to rephrase: It will be better for my weight loss journey if… because for just pure enjoyment, that other option sounds pretty good too!

    I will have a salad for lunch, and I will go shopping this afternoon for chicken breasts, which I will coat with breadcrumbs and prepare in the air fryer. Maybe I will get some cauliflower to prepare as a side dish. We’ll see what strikes my fancy as I peruse the aisles. It is also erev Shabbat, which means that Leslie and I will light the candles… and I brought challah rolls for the occasion. I will not go overboard, but I am excited to welcome the Sabbath in as it is meant to be welcomed in.

    My plans for today are to be better than yesterday, which is an easy goal. I started the day with a shower and felt refreshed, even though I had a bit of a headache (after sleeping much later than I even expected to). I made a meal replacement shake and a cup of coffee. As for the rest of the day, I listed my intentions in the previous paragraph. There are temptations abound but there are also really good reasons to not succumb to them. The way my wife looks at me seeing how well I am doing, and how strong I have been these last couple of months… how could a few snacks ever compare to that? I will stay mindful and I will get back on track. Yes, this morning my weight was up slightly over two pounds; on my last visit in January that was exactly where I was the day after I landed, and I ended up losing 3.2 lbs. that trip… and more if you consider the trip home! All this to say that I am not worried about today’s weight gain blip. I will get back on track starting now and will be able to continue to hit my short-term goals. Right now, two of those are real huge milestones: a) Hit my best weight from 2020 (260.4 lbs.); b) Drop below 260 lbs. c) Drop below my best adult weight ever (255 lbs.). If I can achieve that last one by the middle of April, I will have a very quiet and personal celebration. By the way, if it takes until May 1, then what can you do.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 414

    Welcome to Dallas! After three restful hours of sleep, I kicked out of bed at 2:05am to get ready so that fifty minutes later I would alight the back seat of an Uber to take me to the airport. It had not occurred to me that March Break is starting, and that the airport would be a madhouse. No matter, I got through – despite much longer lines than usual at every step – and was safely ensconced in a restaurant in Terminal 3 ordering breakfast at 5:05am. This was my first meal of my cheat day, and I ordered a breakfast wrap (which I had to specify no meat) and a cup of coffee. As the only dairy option for the coffee was cream I drank it black; I realized as I drank it that the coffee that I did not like at Starbucks had not been bad, so much as now that I am drinking it without any sugar, and often black, I am just more discriminating. On my way to the gate I did stop at Starbucks where I was able to grab a coffee with oat milk to take onto the airplane; this blend (True North) was much more pleasant than the Pike Place blend that I did not like the other day. It could also be that after the diner coffee it was just that much better in comparison.

    I cheated on the airplane, but I knew well in advance that I would. I bought a bag of salt and vinegar flavoured Pop Chips, as well as a tin of Lays (of the same flavour). I had some of each, but when I had my fill, I threw both of the containers out. I was not sure if I would be doing that but am glad that I did.

    My weight on the bathroom scale was up slightly from yesterday, but that was expected; I usually weigh myself around 8:15am, a full ten or eleven hours after my last meal replacement. At 2:30am I was scarcely five hours past my last shake. Last night I told Leslie that I knew that this morning’s weigh-in would be meaningless. Even so, I still expect tomorrow I will be up a full two pounds from this morning. Today is a real cheat day! Leslie and I are dressing up and going for our sushi indulgence this evening, which is fast becoming a tradition for my first night in town. I will settle down tomorrow and will be much better over the next few days. Yes, I am off the full-fast program, but that does not mean that I plan to let myself go on this trip. I will be having two meal replacements every day, a very reasonable lunch (as I did today with my Thai tofu salad from Salad and Go), and a proper evening meal. I will be planning almost every meal in advance, whether we are cooking at home or eating out. Starting tomorrow I will also be working out every day, whether that be in the gym or out for a jog. My goal for this trip has always been to gain no more than two pounds, and I know that I can do that if I am smart… and ever mindful.

    I am tired today, but that is to be expected. Even after a proper night’s sleep I am always tired from traveling, so with the short sleep and long lines at the airport I would not expect otherwise. Still, I am thrilled to be here. Leslie and I are finally together again, and whatever fatigue I might be experiencing it counterbalanced by the excitement of that. We belong together, and we will make the most of this week.

    Today is the first day in a while that my plan is not to stick to the program, but I am not sorry for it. I have been planning for today and have been so regimented these last few weeks. The key is to not go overboard… and to get back on track tomorrow.

    Leslie was shocked when she put her arms around me today. We were snuggling and she was amazed by how well I have been doing. She saw me a scant five weeks ago and is amazed at the progress since then, to say nothing of how much smaller I feel to her from when I was at my heaviest. While she is not the only reason I am on this journey, she is certainly among the top three reasons. I want to look better for her – she deserves that. She also deserves to have a husband and lover who can… well, do better with less than I could ever do with more. In June I told her that as I lost weight I would be much more into certain activities that I will not discuss here. On my last visit I reminded her of that conversation; she told me she was not sure at the time that she believed me but was pleasantly surprised that I was right. It will just keep getting better babe… I promise!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 413

    I am not sure if the reason I woke up early was really in anticipation of being able to check in for tomorrow morning’s flight at the very first possible minute, but that thought was certainly what occupied my mind as I lay in bed at 5:58am. Within fifteen minutes or so I would abandon all pretext of trying to fall back asleep, and I would start my day.

    I did not check in for my flight at the very first possible minute… but it was certainly completed within the first thirty minutes. An Uber has been reserved to pick me up at the ungodly hour of 0300. I even tried to fill out my CBP for on their new app, but that it seems has to be completed at the airport, so I will do it tomorrow morning. Knowing that I will wake up tomorrow morning alone, but by 10:00am I will be with my wife… you might say that I am excited, yes. If you did not read the monumental understatement in the tone of that statement, then you understand why I so prefer verbal communication. When I am back from my doctor’s appointment (and collecting whatever pharmaceuticals I need to renew) I will pack my suitcase, much of which will be filled with treats for Leslie and her son, but which will also include my blue suit and some other clothes. Before I begin my class this evening, I will pack up Her Floofness for her eleven-day visit with Sue, including her bowls and treats and toys. She gets to start her visit a day early so that I do not need to disturb Sue in the middle of the night. At the end of my class, I will be ready to drop off to sleep for four or five hours, and then the adventure begins!

    I decided to make an exception to my normal routine this morning. Most days that have an early doctor’s appointment, I will not consume anything until I am back. There are several reasons why I decided to have my first cup of coffee before going, not the least of which is that it smells so good. As is so often the case, I brewed the coffee without thinking. Yesterday I bought two different blends of coffee, this one being a mix of Swiss Chocolate Almond and an African bean that smelled too good to resist. One cup will not be the downfall of my weigh-in, will it? I have been saying that I want to register a 3kg loss from two weeks ago, which is possible based on my bathroom scale weigh-in… but it will be close. Maybe I should have skipped the coffee, waiting instead for my triumphant return from the doctor’s office. It’s too late now… maybe if I just change into a pair of shorts and go commando, I could make up for those added grams? Wait, it’s -5° outside… that is probably not a smart idea. I’ll just go with what I got, and I will hope for the best.

    —

    I missed my goal of 3kg by 100g, which means that if I had worn a short-sleeved t-shirt instead of my long-sleeve one I likely would have achieved it. I am moving the goalposts and calling it a victory. I am not going to cry over this one… especially with the memory of last week’s plateau of frustration so fresh in my mind. To lose 2.9kg over a fortnight during which my weight stayed the same for nearly a week? Huge win, thank you!

    The good news from the doctor is that I do not have arthritis in my knee. It is more likely tendonitis, but we need more imaging to confirm that. Sometime in the next couple of weeks, the imaging centre will call me to book an appointment. They asked if it needed to be rushed, but I assured them that it did not. The doc asked about my jogging, and I told him that I am still at it. He advised me to let pain be my guide. I can live with that advice. He told me there is no degradation of the knee, so I am okay… as long as I am okay.

    We decided to change the dosage of my ADHD medication, so following the appointment, I went to the pharmacy to drop off my new prescription. Sometime later today I will walk over there to pick it up. I will not be jogging today, but the pharmacy is just over a kilometre from here and will be a reasonable walk. I might continue along my path to make it a longer walk… but I will not be suiting up for a jog. Not only did I tell Leslie that I would not do that today, but I also do not want to have to do any more laundry before my trip.

    It is a beautiful day outside despite the cold. The forecast high is 2° which is not exactly beach weather, but it will be nice enough to put on my ski jacket and walk to the pharmacy… and probably the six-kilometre path around the block. When I come in, I will pack my carry-on bag, and then my suitcase. I have been chomping at the bit to do that for a few days now, and today is the day I finally get to do it.

    My plan for the day is to stay on track with my full-fast program (the last day for the next ten days that I will do that); I will go for my walk, stopping in at the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. I will pack my stuff and will prepare Princess Sophie for her trip to Susan’s. I will teach my class this evening, and then I will try to get a few hours of sleep before my 2:15am alarm to prepare before the Uber arrives at 3am. If it is not too windy, I might have a cigar in the afternoon… we will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 411

    I wrote yesterday morning that I was ‘…on the fence between going out for a jog for the next hour or getting back into bed for that hour.’ I decided to suit up and head out. I knew stepping out the door that I was not going to try for another 11km+ foray, but I figured that if I wanted to try to minimize the possibility of this morning’s weigh-in being up from yesterday’s, there was a better chance if I got at least some exercise in before the drive to Cambridge. I did set a couple of personal bests, but that was not the point of the outing.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 3.04km (6.3 km)
    • Duration: 24:51 (51:52)
    • pb Average Pace (Min/km): 8m10s (8.14s)
    • Steps: 3,800 (7,900)
    • Calories burned: 800
    • Elevation gain: 29m (84m)
    • pb Average cadence (steps per minute): 154 (153)

    Walking

    • Distance: 4 km
    • Duration: 42:14
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10m32s
    • Steps: 4,900
    • Calories burned: 526
    • Elevation gain: 12m
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 116

    It was nice to get out, especially knowing that it is the second day in a row that I was able to do it. Hopefully I’ll be able to do it again today. The weather will not be as nice as today, but we will see. When I took Her Floofness out, she did not want to go beyond the front lawn, where she did her business, and then politely but adamantly insisted we go back into the building. In a few weeks we will be beyond the cold and snow and salt on the pavement, and dogs will be happier because those signs of winter hurt their paws. As for myself, I would like to get out for another jog… even if it is a short one.

    I wrote yesterday as well that I was fully expecting that after the tremendous drop from the previous day that my weight would either stay the same, or more likely it would sneak up a couple of ounces. In fact, it dropped .4 lb. which might be my body trying to make things right for the frustrating plateau that was last week… or it could be reminding me that sticking to the program, as well as getting out and exercising, are the combination that will lead to my ultimate success.

    As planned, Princess Sophie and I spent the afternoon with our friends in Cambridge, which was really nice. I see one of them a lot more often, but a couple of them I had not seen since December. It was great to catch up with them… even though a lot of the time we just spend watching TV and talking about nothing in particular. Even though they (they are a couple) got engaged since the last time we caught up, beyond a quick ‘congratulations!’ to them, most of the talk was about pets and stuff.

    I am chomping at the bit to start packing my suitcase. We talk about ‘counting down the hours…’ well in sixty-six hours I will be getting into an Uber that will take me to the airport. I might get five hours of sleep, but likely will not because of the excitement and anticipation… and because I have to teach until 9:30 Wednesday evening. I am holding back because every Israeli is taught that you never pack a suitcase and leave it unattended. I do not care how secure my apartment might be… but I might just take my suit and a few shirts and put them into a garment bag

    I woke up this morning and lay in bed for a few minutes before getting up. It was only when I moved to kick out that I realized that my leg muscles – particularly my quadriceps – are really feeling the effects of my jogging. While some might call it pain, I realized as I lay there analyzing it that it is not actually that… it is just a bit of an ache that is reminding me that I need to stretch before heading out. I know, I should not be neglecting that. As a martial artist I know how important it is, and the fact that I neglect it so often is absolutely on me. I promise I will spend a few minutes stretching before heading out this afternoon. I promise myself!

    I have a few thoughts that I plan to share today in a separate article, so I will sign off now. The plan for today: 1) Stay on track with the program. 2) Try to get out for a jog. 3) Do some studying for my next exam. 4) Stay focused and stay mindful!

    Have a great day folks!