Category: Sadness
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Day 1194
Today is election day in Canada, and I plan to go vote right after my daytime class, hoping that I will get through it and home in time for my nighttime class. It is going to be tight if the lines are long, but I have to make my voice heard. Other than that, I…
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Day 1191
I am feeling no more cheerier or positive today than I have been; this despite a lot of positive things going on in my life. It is the negative stuff that are so much stronger and harder to cope with. I am going to have to find a way. My weight seems to be normalizing,…
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Day 1183
I did a good deed today. I felt like I needed to because maybe that would pull me out of my sorrow and stupor. I am very happy that I did it… but I am still hip-deep in sorrow. At least the wind has finally abated. One of my Lodge brothers texted me out of…
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Day 1179
Last night’s Passover Seder was a delight. I was invited by a group of friends who were all kicked out of a community group because they are Zionists. Not all of them were Jewish, but they were all my people. It was a delight. The company was wonderful, the food was delicious; Passover is truly…
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Day 1178
I am going to a Passover Seder this evening. I wish I was feeling more in the holiday spirit but the truth is that my heart is in agony and my spirits are so low that I do not feel like celebrating. Last night at my Lodge gala I plastered a smile on my face…
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Day 972
I was very down yesterday. I tried to nap unsuccessfully. I did not try to walk. I will try today. In the meantime, I also hope to get back on track with my weight loss, as I am up three pounds since the weekend. I have not moved my bowels in days and suspect a…
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Day 970
I ate more than I should have yesterday, but again that was not unexpected. As is often the case, no single transgression is egregious, but combined they account for a very slight weight increase this morning. I made French toast for Leslie and myself for breakfast, and then on our way to the airport we…
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Day 924
Welcome to August. My weight was back up this morning, and I am again not happy. With that said, I have made a decision, and I have asked Leslie to hold me to it. I am dropping one meal, and will be eating breakfast and lunch, and then I will have a meal replacement shake.…
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Day 922
I am spiraling out of control with my weight and I have to put a stop to it. I am higher today than I have been… and forget about the dreaded 290 lbs., I am over 295. This must stop!
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Day 920
I got my days skewed again, mostly because I have not been doing well on progress… or with my mental health. I did actually lose weight this morning, but I have to keep on that trend before I get excited. The fact that I weighed in yesterday at my highest in months did not bode…
Losing a part of me 