Category: Depression
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Day 1183
I did a good deed today. I felt like I needed to because maybe that would pull me out of my sorrow and stupor. I am very happy that I did it… but I am still hip-deep in sorrow. At least the wind has finally abated. One of my Lodge brothers texted me out of…
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Day 1178
I am going to a Passover Seder this evening. I wish I was feeling more in the holiday spirit but the truth is that my heart is in agony and my spirits are so low that I do not feel like celebrating. Last night at my Lodge gala I plastered a smile on my face…
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Day 1099
My weight-drop from yesterday rebounded this morning. Not all the way, but a lot. I know why it happened. I have to snap out of my funk. When I finally start working, I will hopefully feel a little better. Also, the cold snap is mostly behind us… which is to say that it is going…
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Day 1095
For the first time since December 22 my weight was back below the terrible mark this morning. I was relieved, mostly because I knew that I hardly ate yesterday; in fact, after my usual breakfast I had precisely two protein bars… and that’s it. I did not starve myself; in fact, I was not overly…
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Day 1094
My weight did not drop below the terrible mark this morning, but it is closer than it has been since before Christmas. Another really good day and I just might hit it. More likely, if I am good for another couple of days, then I should drop below the mark. I have been in a…
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Day 1093
I had a busy day and nearly forgot to post. Here I am. I started the day upset because I ate well yesterday but still gained a pound this morning. I have to remember… it’s the trend and not points on a graph.
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Day 1045
Yesterday was not an easy day for me. It was the thirty-year anniversary of the day I was conscripted into the Army. There are so many memories, so many friends, so many regrets. Everything came right into my consciousness shortly after I woke up, and there I was right until I fell asleep. I actually…
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Day 997
I am still not sleeping nearly as well as I would like, but sometimes I wonder how accurate the scores on my fitness watch are. I trust it completely for my walking and heart rate, but whether my sleep score is correct? I’m not sure. Yes, I think I could have slept a little better…
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Day 914
I overate last night, and because of that my weight went up again this morning. It would be easy to think that it was because of a spat that Leslie and I had. I can assure you that it was not that at all. I was in a lousy mood. And the food was there.…
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Day 888
I was in a bit of a funk yesterday and I ate more than I should have. I did not, however, eat nearly enough to account for the nearly four pound gain this morning. It could be the constipation… after nearly a week of horrible diarrhea, my bowels seem to have gone the other way.…
Losing a part of me 