Category: Depression
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Day 7
The last few days have been a huge bell curve. I mentioned a couple of days ago that one evening this week a friend brought me Vietnamese pho, which is extremely salty, and that I ate that for two days. In short, from Monday to Thursday my weight was up over five pounds, which really…
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Day 1359
I am really at the point where I wish I was re-starting my weight loss program today, and not Tuesday after Thanksgiving. I really do hate myself at this weight. This weekend will not be a bang, but it will be my last eating for a while. I have to get back on track.
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Day 1345
I was a bit surprised by how excited I was to see that my regular meal replacements are once again available. I checked yesterday afternoon (I have been checking on a regular basis since the last time I tried to order them) and was thrilled. I ordered a number of boxes, and it looks like…
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Day 1343
Rosh Hashana has not been nearly as peaceful as it should be. I mistakenly took a contract to teach this week, and I am having a terrible time of it. There are myriad stressors in my life and I really do not know how I will make it through this week. Yesterday I needed to…
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Day 1339
I have not been in a very good way emotionally these last few weeks and it shows. These last two days have been particularly difficult for reasons that I cannot put my finger on. As such, yesterday’s entry was a bit more morbid than it might have been. To be clear for those who are…
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Day 1263
This weekend has been unique in my experience. I drove to Strathroy Friday morning and my buddy greeted me and immediately took off. He and his wife are spending the weekend away. I walked into the house and was greeted (somewhat) by sixteen legs… two children (9 & 6 years old), a dog named Buddy,…
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Day 1256
I am hating myself more than ever this morning. It gives me a bit of comfort that I am now committed to restarting my extreme program a week from tomorrow – the day after my birthday. Today another friend and I are cohosting a birthday barbecue for ourselves (as we did last year). Thinking back…
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Day 1255
I made a decision that I hope I can stick to. The day after my birthday (a week tomorrow) I am starting back on the full program. I have to get hold of myself, stress and anxiety and depression and despair be damned.
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Day 1253
A close friend came over for a cigar yesterday afternoon after I told him how horrible I was feeling. We are going to see each other today, but that will be in a group of people. He knew that I needed to talk privately. He asked me, after I gave him an update of what…
Losing a part of me 