Category: Depression
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Day 691
My work schedule changed this week. Beginning yesterday I was teaching from 9am – 1:00pm, and then I had six hours off and taught from 7:00pm – 11:00pm. The change made me change my food schedule, so I had my breakfast as usual, and then after class I prepared my lunch. I was not hungry…
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Day 685
You would think that days when I teach until 11pm I would be getting to bed reasonably soon after that. The last few nights I have lay in bed tossing and turning with difficult and depressing thoughts keeping me awake, so last night I decided to shake things up a little. After class I had…
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Day 684
It’s another hard day after another long night. I fall asleep after tossing and turning for hours. It’s little wonder that I am groggy throughout the day.
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Day 671
I do not know if I am having a harder time today than I have the last few; I do know that the emotional pain and anxiety are crippling today. I am not sure if part of that is because when I took Her Floofness for her walk we met up with her friend Angus……
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Day 668
I fell off badly yesterday. I went grocery shopping (I had no food in the house) and thought ‘what’s the harm in buying a box of breakfast cereal? Oh, I also bought a bag of mini crisps. Here’s the harm: I ate all of the crisps and most of the breakfast cereal last night and…
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Day 667
(Sorry, I wrote this on Saturday but forgot to press Send. –MDG) My weight finally dropped this morning… after five days of gains and over 5 lbs. in that time, it finally receded slightly. A 1.4 lb. drop from yesterday is a bit of a relief, if not a massive one. I could not have…
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Day 661
My life is no better today than it was yesterday. It is still a complete and total disaster from which I see no way out and no way forward. Still, I have to go forward. Aside from the fact that my religion forbids any form of self-harm, there are people who love me and care…
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Day 660
My weight is slowly dropping back to where it was before I flew to Texas (nearly a three weeks ago). It is astounding to me that in the last week since my world imploded I have not gone completely to pot. It would not have surprised me had my weight jumped fifteen pounds this past…
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Day 659
My weight dropped another few ounces this morning. I can assure you that it is not because I did much different yesterday. It is certainly not because I am feeling any better about myself, and I know that I did not get any significant exercise in yesterday. I am as emotionally down as I could…
Losing a part of me 